The danger of touch
by PastelYellow
Summary: It was an easy arrangement, a way to relax and get her mind off of homelife, extra carriculars and duedates. They never thought they'd get to this point; their hearts breaking as they try to maintain the image of hated childhood friends. [In which Courtney and Duncan start a fwb relationship but emotions run wild and it ends in the most unlikely of ways][Slight gidgette throughout]
1. The danger of the beginning of the end

**A/N: I'm uploading this chapter to see if anyone is interested in this story and where it would go. I mean, who really ships and writes Duncney in 2017? Me,** **apparently... well, anyway, I** **have like ten more chapters already written and the entire storyline mapped out in my head so please read and review so I know you want more etc etc etc.**

 **I do not own Total Drama and its characters, all right reserved to the respective owners.**

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It was Friday, seven minutes past three, my last class ended just two minutes ago. I put the last of my books away and closed the door to my locker, only to find an annoying delinquent's face show up on the other side. I squeaked internally but didn't let it show; I was not going to let him win today, I was too stressed about not only upcoming tests but also preparing for the debate team's trip in two weeks and the race for student council president! My mind was a cluster off due dates and dictionary terms, luckily my color-coordinated calendar helped me all days of the week. In twenty-three minutes I was to be home and read the book we got for English class. The walk home didn't take that long but I still did not have time for a neanderthal like Duncan.

"What?" I simply asked in a vicious tone, spatting it out like he'd enraged me instead of simply leaning against a nearby locker and looking at me.

"Why so angry, princess?" Duncan asked and put both hands in the pockets of his jeans. I wanted to shout at him that I was not angry, that I simply did not have time for petty fights with anyone; and certainly not him.

"I'm not", I stated and turned on my heels, leaving him standing at the lockers with disbelief in all crevasses of his expression while I started walking home. Duncan's heavy but fast footsteps eventually caught up to the me and my peripheral vision was tarnished by a green mohawk.

"What's crawled up your ass today?" Duncan sounded disappointed and annoyed.

"I have better things to do, just let me walk home in peace." He took a long step forward and we were once again face to face, stopping me in my tracks as he looked me up and down several times. "Something's got your panties in a twist."

"I-I... I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on princess," Duncan threw his hands up in the air, "You don't like to admit it but I know you. And that pole is further up your ass than usual." A frown formed on his face as my shoulder bumped into his when I decided to start walking again, whether he was in the way or not.

"The only thing you know is how to be incredibly vexing." I shifted my shoulder bag from my right to my left side, on which Duncan annoyingly decided to walk.

"Vexing, that's a new one. Preparing for the big debate, huh?" This time I was the one to stop, though not like a huge boulder in the road like he had done. "Yeah, I listen," he smirked at me before nudging his head forwards in a 'you coming?' kind of way.

"For your information-" I started but was abruptly interrupted by Duncan's voice.

"I know, I know, you don't have to have competition to know big fancy words", he threw his hands up in the air for defense. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and rolled them as soon as I took in the incredibly stupid gesture. We fell into silence for a couple of minutes, already had ten minutes past since his face showed up behind the locker door. Ten minutes of being in his presence, ten minutes more than I wanted.

"Are you going to annoy me the entire way home?" I asked and broke the silence. At this point we were only a couple of blocks away from my house and I was not going to give him yet another way to annoy me; Duncan was already a pain in the neck at school, the least he could do was leave me alone in his and my spare-time. Showing him where I lived was completely counterproductive to that.

"Oh, sweetheart", he answered and tsked at me. I stopped dead in my tracks and raised both eyebrows. "We're not going home." Duncan smirked and snaked his arm around my shoulders, taking my bag from me and swung it over his left shoulder. "Come on", he said as he started walking again, dragging me along as his arm was still around my shoulders. He was a criminal without morals and just about everything I despised about the world, yet having him close made me feel strangely warm inside. Duncan's arm stayed around my shoulders for a couple of minutes while we walked in silence, before I realized just what was happening at the moment.

"Get off of me", I spoke up, breaking the silence once more, shaking his arm off of me. My tone was one of disdain and he simply snickered in response.

"Chill, Princess, no one sees us. I know you're hot for me." Duncan wiggled his eyebrows and threw a seductive smirk in my direction.

"I-I. I am not!" I gasped, almost shouting my response in his face. We stood still again and Duncan turned to face me, still with that stupid and attractive smirk plastered on. I tried my hardest to repress the rising heat in my cheeks, but the glimpse in his eyes told me I had failed.

"Oh come on, be honest for a sec. Admit it to yourself", Duncan whispered loudly and took a step closer. Our chests were mere centimeters from each other now and a big breath from either of us would make them touch. His smell hit my nose, it was a mixture of smoke, gasoline and body spray. It was a pleasant mixture that made it even harder to suppress my now flaming cheeks. "You find my rebellious behavior sexy." His breath swooped across my face, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"I find your rebellious behavior incredibly stupid", I spat out in response. I did not nor could I ever find someone so pestering as Duncan attractive. Okay, so his smirk sometimes made me want to press my lips to his, but only so I wouldn't see it anymore. He was not hot!

"Keep telling yourself that, babe." Seductiveness had now replaced every trace of teasing in his voice and he took a step forward again, closing the gap between our chests. Suddenly I was very aware of our surroundings, my house was not far from here and I was not to be seen standing like this with someone of his kind in my own neighborhood. Quickly my foot made its way to Duncan's shin, hard. He grabbed his leg and jumped in agony, all while I smiled triumphantly.

"What was that for?" Duncan begged when he overcame the pain and straightened himself up to look at me again. I simply shrugged and grabbed my bag from where he had dropped it on the ground. He gave me a quick look of surprise before taking my wrist and dragging me away from the street and into the nearby woods.

We cut across someone's yard but Duncan didn't seem to even care as I screamed objections at him. When reaching the beginning of the woods I stopped trying to fight his iron grip and we continued to walk in silence for another five minutes, his hand still around my wrist. Eventually we made our way to a hidden campsite, a fire pit was in the center surrounded by two tents and one wooden bench. The ground was littered with old cigarettes and what looked like burned out joints, some beer cans laid spread out around the ground as well. Duncan finally let go of my wrist and sat down on the bench, taking a stick from the ground and lighting the tip of it on fire with his lighter.

"Ugh", I dropped my bag and dramatically extended my arms to the sides, "What are we doing here? What am I doing here?" Instead of answering me Duncan simply patted the seat next to him, asking without words for me to sit down.

"Princess, you need to learn how to relax", he says without any trace of teasing, but instead an unfamiliar layer of concern.

"I can have fun", I crossed my arms and look away from him, tilting my head upwards.

"That's not what I said", his voice still sounded concerned, though not as tense as before. Like he knew the stress and pressure I was under, like he cared about my wellbeing. "You can be plenty of fun without that stick up your ass", he continued and patted the bench again, "come here." Reluctantly I sat down beside him this time, I laid my bag on the ground and looked at the burning stick, making sure I was not to face his gaze burning hole in my side. He threw the stick in the fire pit and we both watched as the fire spread from branch to branch and eventually develop to big flames that warmed us both. Duncan leaned back and stretched out both of his arms along the back of the bench, slightly touching my shoulder as his arm draped behind me. In response I crossed my arms once again and leaned my elbow on the armrest.

"Step one", he snickered beside me and laid his arm around me, not just on the bench but actually on me. I quickly shook his arm off and looked him straight in the eye, giving him a dirty look to which he just smirked. "Relax, Princess", he stated again, like him telling me was going to make me feel at ease. I decided to turn my attention to the fire again, it was reaching upward and made me feel content even if only for a moment; the flames danced around each other and it was nearly hypnotic. In an instant my vision went foggy and the strong, sour smell of nicotine burned my nose.

"Ugh, seriously?" I exclaimed annoyed and scooted away from Duncan again. He blew a ring of smoke towards the fire and the flames danced around it, like a twisted ballet.

"You should try it, it's relaxing. And that's the whole point we're even here", he leaned in closer to me and wiggled his damn eyebrows again. If there was one thing that stood out among all of his incredibly bothersome flaws, it was those eyebrow wiggles that made everything into a sexual reference.

"It's a bad habit, I don't have those", I stated simply. A suppressed snort turned fake cough escaped Duncan's throat and I glared daggers at him.

"Oh please, you have more bad habits than anyone I know!" Duncan said in a loud voice and gestured dramatically to me with both his hands. "Well, except for like, Geoff", he continued under his breath and took another drag of his cigarette. Geoff was Duncan's accomplice, they partied and often ended up in big trouble. Bridgette had told me all about their antics, if they didn't beat her to the punch, she even had to pick her boyfriend up from the drunk tank a few times. I knew she had bailed him out once with money he hid in his room just in case he was thrown in actual jail, and lucky enough his parents never found out. Well lucky for Geoff and Bridgette, I had tried to reason with her to tell his parents anyway, it would have been the right thing to do in that scenario.

"Please, enlighten me", I scoffed at him and crossed my legs as well. Everything about my body language screamed uncomfortableness and want to simply get the heck out of the woods.

"Well", he began, "you always take too much on, all those extra curriculars of yours are wearing you out. You have absolutely no way to chill and it's starting to show." I immediately questioned him in my head. Exactly how is it showing? And what is it? Like a reflex I reached for my eyes and patted the puffy areas under both of them. Maybe he was right after all. No, it couldn't be. Duncan knew nothing about me. Nothing! "You don't get enough sleep, you freak out over every single little thing and make enemies when trying to make friends because you're so pushy. Not everyone in life is going to like you, babe." He took one last drag from his cigarette before throwing it into the fire, letting it be indulged by the flames. Once again he leaned backwards and put his arm up behind me, trying to make a point by gently squeezing my shoulder; this time I did not shrug him off. Maybe Duncan had a point after all, his biggest bad habit was being too relaxed, mine was that I couldn't. I tested the thought out in my mind before shaking my head vigorously.

"No, no you're wrong. I relax when I read or sleep, that is my alone time", I re-crossed my legs so they leaned towards Duncan instead of away. I didn't like to admit it, and I never would out loud, but being on a deserted bench with him was not as bad as I had first imagined. Not that I had imagined it. I never thought about Duncan except for when he was right next to me, and barely even then. No, I never thought about Duncan.

"Sleeping doesn't count", he sighed but somehow still managed to smirk, "unless you dream something soothing." And there he goes again with his god forsaken eyebrows, wiggling them like it was his job. Without thinking I lightly slapped him in the chest. "Ow", he whimpered and pouted. Though we both knew the slap was anything but painful, and even with this information I smiled triumphantly. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head as I smiled at him. I genuinely smiled, because of Duncan. I guess he too was confused by this as his next words pointed out the current state of my lips. "See, you know how to smile from something else than a book."

"Told you I can have fun", I teased and looked away from him, my smile fading to a neutral position. The darkness had now swallowed our environment and the, almost dying, fire was our only source of light. "Oh, god, what time is it?" I asked in a hurry, knowing I needed to be home and study. Not that anyone at home really cared, but structure is what kept me going.

"Uh", Duncan scratched his head and drew a beaten pocketwatch from his cargo pants, "fifteen minutes over four."

"I need to get home", I sprung up into standing position and started searching in the darkness for my bag.

"Princess, take it easy", Duncan said and stood up as well. He extinguished the fire quickly and pulled something from the ground. He reached his arm out to me and through the meek light in the forest I saw he held my bag in his hand.

"Thanks", I snatched the bag from him and looked down at my feet, feeling embarrassed by the sudden panic I had shown.

"Don't mention it, sweetheart. Now let's get you home", Duncan answered and started walking through the woods again.

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 **A/N: I wanna thank** _ **ari-arts dot tumblr dot**_ ** _com_ for the great cover picture, go check her and her art out!**


	2. TDO soda cans & sexual frustration

**A/N: I wanna thank all of you guys for the great response to the first chapter! And a special applaud to Hayley404 for being the first one to review this story.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners**

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"I need to get home", I sprung up into standing position and started searching in the darkness for my bag.

"Princess, take it easy", Duncan said and stood up as well. He extinguished the fire quickly and pulled something from the ground. He reached his arm out to me and through the meek light in the forest I saw he held my bag in his hand.

"Thanks", I snatched the bag from him and looked down at my feet, feeling embarrassed by the sudden panic I had shown.

"Don't mention it, sweetheart. Now let's get you home", Duncan answered and started walking through the woods again. We walked in silence the entire way back to the road, he didn't try to touch me again, he said nothing about me needing to relax, no smart-ass comment at all. I didn't know if I enjoyed the silence or if it bothered me. Once we trespassed back over the same yard as before he finally turned to me.

"You have a curfew or something?" He asked, which was not what I had expected at all. Something sexual or teasing, sure, but not asking about my home rules.

"Oh, uhm, not really", I shrugged and readjusted my bag that was almost falling off my shoulder. Duncan simply nodded in response and started walking. To my surprise he was walking the right way, maybe he just remembered which way the school was and assumed correctly that I did not live at school. I took a few quick steps to get back beside him, he was walking slowly and continued his silence from before. It took us four more minutes to walk to my house. It was a regular sized two-story-building with a fence marking out our entire yard, an automatic gate had been installed to let my dad's car come and go easily. Beside the big automatic one was a smaller one to which you needed a key, we all had one, except for my little brother since he was still too young. I fished the small key out of my bag and turned the lock on the gate, popping it open with only a slight push.

I turned back to Duncan, seeing him standing there in the light from a streetlamp, a look on his face that was completely out of character, made me question everything about these hours we just spent. I knew he liked breaking rules, or maybe he just didn't like following them, but something felt off. I hadn't noticed the tension he exuded until we started walking out of the woods, but I hadn't been bothered by it until now.

"Why aren't you home?" I asked without thinking, I mentally kicked myself for wondering, private lives were supposed to be just that, private. The delinquent before me simply shrugged in response and put his hands in the pockets of his pants. I took a step closer to him and tried meeting his eyes, but his gaze was firmly locked to the ground.

"Maybe I don't want to go home", Duncan finally responded and looked at me, smirking. I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes almost automatically, of course he couldn't be serious. "Maybe I want to see where the night takes me." This time when he spoke he took a step closer to me and gently stroke my bare arm, everything still with a smirk on his face. Just like last time we were this close my foot launched forward on instinct and hit his shin once more.

"Shit, woman! You need to stop kicking me", Duncan yelled and held his shin with both hands.

"Will you shut up, you're going to draw attention to us", I whispered loudly, like they do in stage plays when they want to share a secret with the last row.

"Drawing attention? Me?" He yelled again, this time letting go of his leg and broadening his arms out to his sides. I could see in his eyes that he was joking and trying to get a fit out of me.

"Shut up", I repeated more loudly and tried smacking his hands down.

"Shut up? Shut up?! You're the one that need to calm down, woman!"

"Okay fine", I closed the space between us and covered his mouth with my hand while the other flew behind his neck as support, dropping my bag in the process. "Will you, please, be quiet?" My voice was strong and I was pleasantly surprised at how sturn I sounded. He nodded and I could feel his lips turn upwards under my hand, knowing Duncan he was probably smirking. My eyes searched his for even a glimpse of honesty before I released my grip on his head.

"If you let me come inside for a bit", he said as soon as his mouth was free again.

"No way", I said and crossed my arms. Immediately Duncan took a deep breath, preparing to start yelling again. "Okay, okay, you can stay for five minutes." He smiled triumphantly and strolled passed me, walking straight through the gate and towards the door of my house. Annoyed I picked my bag up from the ground and followed him, making sure to close and lock the gate behind me.

"Your folks home?" Duncan turned to me and pointed over his shoulder at the completely pitch black windows.

"I don't think so. Dad always comes home late on Fridays, poker night or something like that. Mom and Will is in Toronto." I answered, but double checked the garage windows for any sign of a car just to be sure.

"What's in Toronto?" Duncan asked as I unlocked the front door and gestured for him to walk in first.

"Grandmother." I didn't want to go into details about Toronto. Grandmother was sick and mom dragged Will to see her one last time. Dad had stayed because of his firm, at least that's what he had said to my mother and me. I walked in after Duncan and my eyes directly found a note on the rail of the staircase in our hallway. I walked quickly to it and snatched it before Duncan could find and read it. ' _Conference all weekend, food's in the fridge. /Dad'._

"All weekend, huh?" Duncan said behind me, I hadn't noticed him sneaking up and reading the note over my shoulder. All weekend meant something completely different to him than to me, his comment was made with a big simper. Without hesitation I crumbled up the piece of paper and walked in the kitchen, throwing the note away in a nearby trashcan.

Walking over to the fridge and got us each a can of soda I answered, "Yeah, guess so," and threw one of the cans to him. He cracked it open as soon as he caught it and took a big gulp of the content. I leaned on the kitchen counter and followed his lead by taking a sip of my soda.

"So maybe I don't have to leave", Duncan smirked at me and put down his can on the counter behind me, stroking my naked arm with his in the process. He stood close to me and his scent hit my nose once more. His body spray smelled slightly of lavender, a nice contrast to the scent of the smoke and gasoline that was etched in his clothes.

"Yes you do, I have homework and preparations to do", I answered and furrowed my eyebrows, putting down my can beside his.

"I can help." Duncan's voice was low and sultry, probably trying to seduce me. Well that was simply not going to happen! I could beat him any day in anything, even in a game of seduction.

"Sorry, none of my homework is illegal", I snorted at him, but didn't move from my spot. His smell was almost intoxicating and I started to understand why girls didn't turn him down. Wait, no, I didn't understand. I was not attracted to this ogre in front of me.

"I'm an expert in more than one area", he breathed and leaned forwards, our noses almost touching. His right arm took support from the cabinet over my head and his left hand was making small traces along my arm. In that moment I pushed everything aside, all the hatred for his habits, all the expectations I had on myself and all thoughts about what our peers would say. In that moment I wanted to throw my arms around him, I wanted to let all my restraints go and let my instincts guide me. But just as I was about to do exactly that, give in and kiss his stupid lips, he turned away from me and started walking towards the door.

"Should probably head back home", Duncan said and opened the front door without waiting for an answer. His can still half full standing on my counter.

"Wait", I exclaimed almost too desperate. He turned and smirked at me. Before giving him any sort of idea I reached for his soda. My restraints came rushing back and I realized what I had almost done. Never again! Never again would I let him get the better of me. He was not my type. "You forgot this." Duncan took the soda can from my hand and smiled at me, actually smiled, not a smirk or a grin, a genuine smile of gratitude and a hint of happiness. He took one big gulp from it again and shook the container so we both heard the tiny amount of liquid that was left.

"You can finish this", he handed it back to me and turned around once more, walking out the door this time. I stood in silence with his can in my hand for a whole minute. The big ancient clock in our dining room sounded louder than normal, and every tick was excruciating. He had just left. Just like that. No goodbye, no explanation, no nothing. A part of me felt hurt at his absence, but I quickly shook the feeling away. With only the ticking of the clock and the clicking of my heels I walked back into the kitchen and put down his can next to mine, my hand still around the cold metal. Without thinking I chugged the remaining liquid of his soda and threw the now empty bottle across the kitchen, only to have it land perfectly in the trashcan. I smiled at my amazing shot and licked my lips unknowingly. I could taste not only the soda but the lingering taste of nicotine as well. I took a sip from my own soda can to drown the taste before heading upstairs.

My room was not a big one, when walking in the first thing you spot is a big window with a desk beneath it, only two steps from the door and you're ready to sit down in front of it. My bed was crammed in a corner to the left of the desk, the ceiling leaning down making it hard to plop yourself down on the bed after a long day; which was exactly what I needed right now. I remembered my bag was still in the hallway and groaned as I turned around once again, dragging my feet down the stairs and then up again. I dropped my bag to the floor and kicked my door close without looking at it. Sleeping sounded really nice right now, but I knew studying should be my number one priority. My gaze wandered to the inviting bed, the fluffy pillows practically screamed for me to lay my head down on them and hug the covers for warmth. Maybe just lay down for five minutes, gather energy before diving down the rabbit hole of homework. And without permission my legs took the steps needed to reach my bed. I laid down face first, burying my head in the pillows, making it hard to breath. Before I had a chance to drift of a light thud caught my attention. Maybe dad was home after all. Not thinking much of it I made myself a little more comfortable on the bed and kicked of my shoes.

 _Thud_

The same sound reached my ears once more, on instinct I sat up and listened for another thud, almost hitting my head in the slanting ceiling.

 _Thud, thud_

It sounded like rocks hitting a surface.

 _Thud_

The thuds only increased in power and the intervals decreased the longer the sound went on. I stood up and the thudding sound continued, suddenly I saw the tiny stones impacting on the glass of my window.

"Finally", Duncan called and rolled his eyes from down on the ground when I opened the window and looked at him confused. "You locked the gate, babe", he said and made eye contact with my clearly baffled expression.

"So? You're a criminal, just pick the lock or jump over the fence or something. I don't care", I answered and started to close the window when his voice stopped me.

"Wait! Okay, look. Can I stay?"


	3. The danger of a first

**A/N: And this, dear sir or madame, is where the rating of this story comes to play. Basically the entirety of this chapter is smut so if you don't like that or if you are squeamish then simply skip it, please and thank you. And r** **emember to review my lovelies!**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

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"You locked the gate, babe", he said and made eye contact with my clearly baffled expression.

"So? You're a criminal, just pick the lock or jump over the fence or something. I don't care", I answered and started to close the window when his voice stopped me.

"Wait! Okay, look. Can I stay?"

"Stay?" My eyebrows quirked upwards in bewilderment. He wasn't making any sense at all right now.

"Yeah, you know, come inside and not leave for a while. Stay", Duncan mocked. His lower lip glided outwards slightly, creating a pout. I sighed and closed my window, though the corner of my lips involuntary shot up and formed a smile. Maybe it was all a dream, maybe I accidentally fell asleep. My thoughts whirled around in my head as I stalked down the stairs once more. And there he stood, in the middle of the hallway, his signature smirk plastered on his face. I could sense a bit of gratitude in his eyes as he looked me up and down where I stood on the last step of the stairs.

"Duncan…" I began but was cut off quickly.

"Princess, let's not", he shook his head and gave me another look, though this time I couldn't figure out what it was filled with. Not guilt, not thankfulness, not desire. Maybe regret? "I'm here to help you relax, like I promised in the woods." Every logical cell in my body told me that he was in trouble, they screamed for me to reach out to Duncan and help him. But maybe letting him help me would be the best way to help him? I turned on my heels and walked up the stairs, when I reached the top I realized he was still standing awkwardly in the hallway with his hands in his pockets.

"Lock the door and come up", I sighed at him before turning the corner to my room, leaving my bedroom-door open for him. Instinctively I laid down on my bed once more and only a few moments later I heard the door to my room close.

"So, uhm, thank you", Duncan said and scratched his head. When I nodded in response he walked over to my bed and laid down next to me. He was on his side, one arm on a pillow and resting his head in his palm.

"What do you think you're doing?" I questioned and looked at him, my back still in full contact with the mattress.

"Resting?" He quirked an eyebrow towards his hairline.

"No you're not, I said you could stay not sleep with me." The words fell out of my mouth before I had a chance to think about them. "I-I mean sleep in, in my bed." My eyelids fluttered like a butterfly as I stammered out a way to rescue myself.

"Don't worry, Princess, I won't do anything you don't like", Duncan said seductively. His tongue brushed against the inner part of his lower lip as he spoke. I turned my body slightly towards him, to easier look in his face. It looked like his eyes searched mine for a refusal, and when he didn't find any his resting arm was raised shakily and started stroking mine. His touch was light and left a trail of goosebumps on my skin.

"Duncan…" I tried to talk to him again, only to be cut off as quickly as last time I said his name.

"I said 'let's not'", he answered fast, his touch stopping in its tracks. His eyes turned away from me and looked down on the small space that was still between us.

"I can't help you without knowing what's going on."  
"Well what if I don't want your help!" Duncan suddenly answered in a loud voice, his hand gripped my arm and squeezed tight in frustration. I ignored the pain, knowing it was simply a defense mechanism; we all had them.

"Duncan let me in", I answered in an equally loud voice. He released my arm and sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

"You couldn't help even if you knew", Duncan mumbled and rested his chin in both hands and his elbows on his thighs. I crawled up from my laying position and sat on my knees behind him, my breath probably hitting the back of his neck.

"There is nothing I can't do", I said matter-of-factly, trying to get a reaction from him. I wasn't used to this Duncan, the emotional one, and I didn't know how to handle it. But nothing came out of him, not a movement, not a sound. Nothing.

Without permission my hand raised itself and started tracing his arm the way he had traced mine just moments ago. He raised his head from his hands and interlocked his fingers with each other.

"Let me help you, talk to me", I whispered sweetly and this time I could see the goosebumps forming on his neck, knowing my breath was gently stroking his skin just as my hand was. Before I knew what hit me, Duncan turned his face around to face me and our lips began a gentle dance with each other. He picked his legs up from the edge of the bed and his entire body was now facing mine, slowly pressing me back up the bed and eventually into the mattress. One of my hands held a firm grip in his hair while the other one drew imaginary pictures down his neck and shoulder blades. Duncan's lips were surprisingly soft, though unsurprisingly they tasted mildly of nicotine, they were also still soaked in the taste from the soda earlier. I pressed my chest toward his, I needed to be closer, closer, closer.

"Princess", Duncan said and broke the kiss, "wait", he continued, panting hard from the long battle between our lips.

"Let's not", I repeated his own words back to him before pressing my mouth to his once again. His tongue parted my lips slightly before finding mine and starting a dance of their own. I felt all my restraints loosen and decided to not question everything, for once in my life enjoy the good things that come my way.

Duncan deepened our kiss and gave my lower lip an insecure bite, it felt as if he was afraid. My tongue kept on dancing with his and I pressed myself hard against him. Our legs were laid like a puzzle, one of his knees rested dangerously close to my crotch and I could swear that he felt the warmth radiating from it. My hands wandered down to the hem of his shirts and started pulling them both. Duncan chuckled and stood up on his knees, taking of both his shirts in one sleek move, before leaning down and kissing me again. I had only a second to take in his bare chest, but it was enough to get a good sight of his toned body. He wasn't too muscular, just enough to have the outline of a six pack. I unwillingly tore my mouth away from his, planted kisses along his neck and collarbones. A rugged moan escaped his lips as I kept on kissing his skin. His hands started an adventure down the sides of my body, feeling every curve as he went on. My kisses turned to sucks, giving his neck red and purple marks all over. Every time I earned a moan from Duncan I smiled to myself in victory, he was always so tough and dangerous and I made him weak under my touch.

As if someone switched a switch, Duncan sat up on his knees again. He breathed loudly, as was I, and his eyes looked foggy with lust. "What's wrong?" I panted and supported myself up on my elbows.

"I-I", he stammered before finally sighing sadly and stroking a hand through his, now very messy and somewhat limp, mohawk.

"You can tell me", I said and leaned up, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

One more sigh, bigger than before, escaped him before he answered. "I really want to do this, believe me. But…" I waited patiently for him to finish, not rushing anything knowing it would only spoil the mood, "I have never." He finally added and looked down at the bed.

"You've never?" I asked, honestly shocked as I had heard his and Geoff's stories about their parties and slutty girls. Duncan shook his head in response, not daring to meet my eyes. It was actually kind of sweet, him allowing me to be the first, maybe even wanting me to be the first.

I reached my hand out and stroked his cheek before grabbing his shoulder and slowly leaning him down on top of me again. Finally his eyes met mine and he stroke a piece of hair out of my face. I smiled at him, letting him know it was okay, before once again kissing his lips. The kiss quickly deepened and our tongues found one another faster than before.

I felt how Duncan's hands trembled as he unbuttoned my blouse. Without breaking our kiss we pushed away from the bed, he swatted the blouse down on the floor before we came crashing down on the mattress. Our legs rubbed against each other and in joined effort we got our socks off without stop kissing. With the help of Duncan I was able to push us both to a sitting position with my legs around his waist. He moaned as the movements caused me touching his hardened member.

Like he read my mind Duncan moved his lips down from my lips to my neck, mimicking the sucking and kissing I had performed earlier. His hands wandered around my back and my bra came off in an instant. Our mouths met again as I shook the bra away to join my blouse and his shirts on the floor. On instinct I started grinding against his bulge and we both moaned in pleasure. Duncan pushed me off and I fell back on the bed, a pillow softening the landing of my head. In only a few movements of his hands, Duncan managed to take off both his own and my pants. He inspected my underwear for a few seconds, stroking a finger along the seams, causing shivers over my entire body. Eventually he moved on and pressed his finger between my lips, my panties was practically soaking by this point and his rubbing only made me crazier. I buckled my hips upwards and we found a nice rhythm that felt good. I closed my eyes and stopped holding back the moans that so desperately wanted to escape my mouth.

After a couple of moments Duncan stopped and my eyes flew open, thinking that maybe he changed his mind. But instead of leaving, he dragged my underwear off of me slowly, kissing my thighs as he went. I was now naked as the day I was born, in front of Duncan of all people. Like the bizarreness of the situation just struck me I tried my best to cover up, crossing my legs and holding my breasts. Duncan smiled sweetly at me and whispered something like "it's okay" before uncrossing my legs and giving my warm womanhood a kiss. Our eyes locked gazes as his tongue took one long lick across my lips. He started working his tongue in small circles around the sensitive little bud and I closed my eyes in pleasure; his pierced tongue worked wonders and made me bite my lips to keep from screaming.

Duncan's hands worked their way up my hips and gripped onto the skin. His warm tongue made its way inside of me, it explored the walls before starting to pump in a fast rhythm; the silver ball grazed my insides and gave a weird tingling sensation of coldness and pleasure. One hand let go of its grip around my hipbone and stroke its way down to my clit, continuing the circle movement his tongue had started.

Duncan's technique was amazing, nothing like I had ever experienced before. Not that I had much to go on, every time I tried it myself it only felt unusual and awkward. One of my hands gripped the sheets while the other found its way to Duncan's mohawk, twisting and pulling in his hair.

After a few incredible moments he switched places with his fingers and tongue, licking the sensitive spot while two of his fingers worked their magic inside of me. My climax rose fast and it didn't take long before it swept over me like a tsunami.

"Oh, god. Yes, yes, yes! Oh!" I clenched the sheets hard and I could swear I heard Duncan whimper as my grip on his mohawk probably hurt. He gave my womanhood one last kiss before kissing his way up my entire body, stopping at my neck where he started sucking again. My vision was foggy for a few seconds before I was able to shake the orgasm of completely.

"You're amazing", I said out of breath and took Duncan's face in both my hands, kissing him hard. Our tongues began their former dance and I gripped his hard member, making him moan out loud. I stroke it slowly, increasing and decreasing the strength of my grip as I went up and down. The fabric of his underwear made it hard to fully pleasure him and with his help they too laid down on the floor. Still with eyes closed and mouths battling for power I started stroking him again, faster this time. Duncan moaned in my mouth and bit my lower lip, as to stop himself from being too loud. My strokes became faster and harder until they were met by his hands stopping me. He gripped my wrists and pulled them over my head, holding them firmly in place with only one of his hands. His hands that were so big his right palm could cover both mine without complication, and they felt so right wrapped tightly around my pulsating wrists. Our eyes met before mine made their way down over his body, taking in his entire physique, before landing on his erection.

"Like what you see?" Duncan grinned and caught my attention, our eyes meeting again.

"Oh, shut up", I sneered back but smiled up at him.

Duncan positioned himself against my opening and I could feel his tip teasing my hole. I almost wanted to yell at him to just stick it in, when he finally did. He was big and it stretched me in such a good way. With each pump he sped up and I closed my eyes again.

"No", Duncan said and leaned down to kiss me, still maintaining the speed and force, "I want to see you." He kissed both of my cheeks before his lips met my once more. My legs wrapped around him and helped him keep a steady rhythm. Our eyes locked gazes after we broke the kiss, though I couldn't see much in that foggy state of mind and I doubt he couldn't either, and we both moaned in pleasure as he slammed harder and harder into me. I could feel the throbbing of his member and realized he was close to releasing. I clawed at his back and pressed my hips to his, helping him over the edge. Duncan came soon after and collapsed onto my chest. We both laid still for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, trying to catch our breaths. Eventually Duncan rolled off me and prepped my head up on his chest, his arm snaking around my shoulders for support and comfort.

"That was", he laughed and ran his hand through the now extremely messy mohawk on his head, "wow." I snuggled in closer and kissed his chest. "Uhm, who? I've never seen you with anyone in school so..." I knew what he wanted to know, it wasn't like he knew the guy so it didn't even matter in my head.

"No one really", I answered without emotion, "summercamp", I sighed, "it was once and he was a complete asshole after."

"Good thing I was one before so you don't have any expectations", Duncan laughed and kissed the top of my head. I laughed with him but still slapped his chest, for principal. We laid like that, snuggled close, for a long time. Duncan's heartbeat soothed my mind and it was like a personal lullaby. I don't know how long it took, or what time it was, before I drifted away to sleep.


	4. The danger of study cramp & motorcycles

**I do not own Total Drama and its characters, all right reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

I woke up to the sun shining directly in my face. I fought the urge to open my eyes and get out of bed, my normal morning routine. But this morning was different. This morning I was not alone.

I grunted and turned to my side, facing away from the window and its light. The warm body next to mine welcomed me in a tight embrace, his arm wrapped around my back and pulled me in close.

"Morning, princess", Duncan cooed and brushed a strand of hair out of my face.

"No", I simply refused and buried my face deeper in his chest, squashing my nose in the process. He chuckled and stroked my naked back twice before rolling me away from him. "What are you doing?" I demanded in an annoyed tone, quickly returning to my normal uptight self, not the sad, helpless girl I had let myself be last night.

"Getting up", he answered before he stood up, his naked composure bathing in sunlight. Duncan stretched his arms and moaned, contorting his torso in the process. "Discreet much?" I hadn't noticed he had turned around to face me, I had been too busy being enchanted by the morning light bouncing of his pale skin and muscular body. I didn't like to admit it, nor would I outloud, but Duncan sported some pretty attractive looks; his butt was tight, he had toned pecs, thick calves, the outlines of a six pack on his stomach, sharp collarbones and actually very cozy hair.

I stuck my tongue out childishly before rolling back to face the wall, snuggling in under the covers that held me warm and safe. I listened as Duncan's footsteps disappeared down the hallway, presumably to the bathroom next to my room. He didn't close the door behind him, making the entire house's cold air fly in my room. Sex was hotter than I had remembered, warmer I mean, it had filled the entire room with warmth. Warmth that I first now realized had left a damp print on both my pillows.

"Crap", I mumbled as I too got out of bed, though unlike Duncan I wrapped myself in a dark blue robe, that reminded me of the night sky, hanging nearby the end of my bed.

"Nice", I heard from the doorway and turned to find a toothbrush holding delinquent. His mouth was foaming from the toothpaste and it had dripped down his chin.

"Pig", I spat out and walked past him, holding both pillows. I headed for the laundryroom but was stopped before I even reached the stairs. Duncan's hand took a steady grip around my wrist and turned me back around.

"Where you going?" He asked, barely audible since he had yet to spit out the toothpaste.

"Sorry, I don't speak idiot", I said with a straight face, but I knew he picked up on the teasing in my voice. His hand took a quick route up and down my arm before he returned to the bathroom.

Our laundryroom wasn't as big and extravagant as the rest of the first floor. Both dad and mom had spent most money on making the livingroom, diningroom, kitchen and downstairs bathroom look luxurious. Whenever they needed to make a nice and proper impression on someone important, the first floor was their way of doing so. The upper floor wasn't as grand, with the exception of dad's office. I swear he cared more about his books and desk than about mom.

Once back in my room I was met by Duncan laying on my bed, flipping through a book I guess he found on my nightstand, naked yet again.

"Took you long enough", he said as I closed the door. The covers were strategically laid over his hips and private parts, but showed every inch of skin otherwise. I hit my foot on my bag and as I looked down it stared up at me with disappointment, I could almost imagining it shaking its head. An immense guilt struck my being as the events of last night flashed through my head. I hadn't gotten a single study minute in!

"No thanks to you", I sat down by my desk and brought my bag with me, starting to dig around in it after my biology book; which was one of the subjects in which I had an upcoming test. A loud noise startled me and I almost fell out of my chair. "Duncan!" I turned my head and yelled at him, "Be careful with my stuff."

"No need to get your panties in a twist", he answered and changed position in the bed, making me very thankful for the thought out place of the cover. He now laid on his side with one leg bent and supporting his head with one arm, looking at me with seductiveness in his eyes. "Oh wait, you're not wearing any", he smirked at me. Instinctively my hands flew to in between my legs, trying to cover up myself, before I realized I still had the robe on. When seeing my reaction Duncan bursted out laughing.

"Very funny", I rolled my eyes and turned my attention to the book again.

"Don't blame me, you're the one walking around in nothing but thin fabric. You can't kill a man for thinking about what's underneath", he stated and I could see him dragging a hand through his limp mohawk.

"I can and I will", I muttered under my breath, "now let me read." My voice rose in annoyance and I crossed my legs away from the neanderthal in my bed, hoping he would leave me alone for at least fifteen minutes so I could write down everything important in this chapter. I could hear him mutter something back but decided to ignore it.

I looked up after five minutes and Duncan still laid in my bed, still with his leg bent inappropriately but this time staring at the ceiling instead of me, with both his hands behind his head. After another five more minutes I looked up from the book again, growing suspicious as to what kept him occupied since he wasn't bothering me even a little, only to find my bed empty and his clothes gone from my floor.

"Duncan?" I called, thinking maybe he went to the bathroom. But still, had I been that caught in the reading I hadn't even heard the door open and close? No answer. "Duncan?" I tried again, a little louder this time. Still nothing but silence. The book he had been flipping through and then dropped - or thrown, who knows - was still on the floor with the pages spread in a way that punched my heart. It was going to get all bent and wrinkled because of him! I picked the book up without moving out of the chair, quickly smoothing the pages and closing it carefully before laying it down on my biology book. "Duncan!" I now shouted and decided to walk out of my room, he was clearly not going to hear me if I sat in there yelling. I stuck my head in every room on the second floor before finally walking downstairs. He was not in the kitchen, not harassing another bathroom - the important and luxurious one -, not doing anything helpful in the laundryroom.

"Duncan!" I shouted again, stomping my foot in frustration. He couldn't have just disappeared, nor had I imagined the entire thing. My last chance was the livingroom, and lo and behold there he was. Not in the livingroom, but on the other side of a glass door leading to our glazed terrace. He had opened the sliding terrace door leading out to my backyard and was sitting in the doorway.

"There you are", I said annoyed and closed the glass door behind me. Duncan's head twitched towards the sound of my voice and he blew out a big cloud of smoke on my legs, the warm and thick air felt weirdly nice around my naked skin. "What are you doing?" I demanded and crossed my arms, "You can't smoke here."

"Watch me, sweetheart", Duncan scoffed and took another drag from his cigarette. His smoke was this time aimed at nothing in particular and I was thankful he had at least had enough manner to slide open the door so he wouldn't cloud up the entire terrace. With a sigh I sat down next to him, still with my arms crossed.

"When did you leave?" I asked with another sigh, knowing I wasn't going to get him to put the cigarette out. I prayed silently that I would have enough time to sanitize the terrace before dad came home on monday, or at least get the smell out of any furniture standing in the enclosed space.

"Eh, like five minutes ago. After you checked up on me", Duncan answered and bumped his shoulder into mine. I turned to look at him as he spoke, but was met by another cloud of smoke instead of his face. We sat close, not touching, but almost. A simple shift of my legs and they would be touching his, and just like that I was awfully aware of the fact I was still only in my robe with nothing underneath while he was fully dressed.

Duncan laid a hand on my naked knee, probably feeling every goosebump that had been created by the smoke that hit my skin earlier. Internally I damned my stupid body and its stupid reactions to stupid boys.

"What?" I asked, too loud for the small distance between us.

"You're shivering", Duncan smirked. Damn him for noticing.

"No", I snapped and tugged my legs away, making his hand slipping off.

"You totally are", he laughed and bumped my shoulder again.

"Am not."

"Is to."  
"Am not."  
"Is to."

"Am not!" Going back to our bickering felt good, this is how it was supposed to be, not lovingly, not intimate, we were supposed to hate each other! I hated all he stood for; misbehaviour and disobedience, unnecessary rule breaking and overall delinquency. He was not my type, at all. Yet, the memories of last night flashed in the back of my head and told me otherwise.

"Fine, you're not", Duncan caved and took a drag, "but I can make you shiver." He smirked and blew the smoke in my direction again, the warmth hitting my exposed neck and I cursed in my head for yet again reacting to it with goosebumps. We were closer now, I hadn't even noticed either of us moving. Our legs rested towards the other ones and his hand was once again on my knee, my arm had positioned itself on the side of Duncan, making me lean into him. Even though he stayed the night the smell of lavender still surrounded him, mixing with the other artificial scents. He hadn't brought a bag or anything so he wouldn't have been able to bring his body spray. Now that I thought about it, he wouldn't have been able to bring a toothbrush either.

"Hey, where did you get a toothbrush from?" Logically I thought he probably took a new one from the medicine cabinet, but with Duncan you never knew. "Don't tell me you used mine."  
"I'm not that much of a pig", he chuckled, using my own words describing him.

"You're right. You're an ogre, one with mouth hygiene", I sneered back. The cigarette between his fingers was moved once again to his lips and a long drag was taken from it. My eyes followed its movements and was fascinated by the glow at the end, shrinking the paper for every inhaling breath Duncan took. He blew out the smoke, forming a circular shape with his lips, and without thinking my face leaned towards his, softly placing my lips onto his. The smoke traveled from his mouth into mine as our lips massaged each others. The kiss was broken by a coughing fit on my end, the smoke had escaped down my throat and whirled around, irritating everything it came across.

"Oh, man, you really did that!" Duncan burst out laughing as we both leaned away. I gave him a stern look, slapping his arm when he still did not take me seriously.

"Shut up", I frowned and crossed my arms.

"Princess, you smoked", he teased and bumped into my side.

"No!" I was stern and kept my gaze away from him. Not wanting to admit I let my feelings get the better of me. Not wanting to admit having inhaled smoke simply because I was longing for his lips.

"Aww, princess likes me", Duncan kept teasing, ignoring my word. He put an arm around my shoulder and rubbed my arm. "Come on, wanting me is not that bad."

"Yes it is", I muttered, not realizing the meaning of my own words.

"So you do like me", he hopped up from the wooden step and onto the grass before me, throwing his hands in the air like he just won a race.

"I do not!" I yelled.

"Do to."  
"Do not."  
"Do to."  
"Do not!"

"Last night tells a different story" Duncan said and wiggled his eyebrows, though his voice was full of earnesty and did not match his facial expression. His voice told me he had enjoyed our encounter, that he wanted more and wanted it from me. I was stumped; last night was more than two bodies intertwining, more than two people joining together, it had meant something. We both felt it had meant something.

I stayed silent but looked him straight in the eyes. Hopefully they showed what I was too afraid, too proud to say, hopefully he would see it and understand. I was not going to be the first one confessing, if he wanted more he was going to have to say it. Staring straight into his eyes I noticed how deep they really were, the teal color was a perfect contrast to the agonising black he always wore. Duncan hid a lot from the rest of the world, but when he stood there in front of me, it felt like I was looking into his soul. It felt like he bared himself for me and, even if only for a second, I could see he really cared about my opinion on this, on us. If there even was such a thing. No, there wasn't, there couldn't be.

"I'm going to get dressed", I stood up as the words passed my lips, "and Duncan, go home." It was not a demand of him needing to get the heck out of my house, nor was it a want to be alone and away from him. It was simply a worrying statement. He had avoided the topic all day yesterday and eventually spent the night here because he refused to go home.

* * *

I was dressed in light blue jeans that flared out at the bottom and a dark green colored tank top that draped down my chest nicely. I had left Duncan downstairs, trusting he would go home. After last night and this morning I had lost several valuable hours of studying I needed to get done. My books still laid open on my desk, the pages held in place by the novel Duncan had decided to flip through before abandoning it on the floor. I sighed and sat down, putting the book on the window frame.

Biology was an easy subject for me, yet the words on the pages did not stick in my head. I tried writing them down, noting everything important about the paragraphs, and yet all that spun around in my head was the mohawk clad idiot I left this morning.

"God", I sighed and rested my head in my hands. Unwilling to come to the realization I wanted Duncan's company more than I wanted to read about the human body. Knowing I wouldn't be able to study I decided to take a walk.

Without a goal walking seemed pointless. I didn't know where I was going or how I was getting there. People always said a stroll down the block helped them think, well screw those people. They never had to deal with a personal dilemma in their mind nor a vexing, green haired ogre that took their minds off of everything. I didn't mean for it to happen, being intimate with Duncan wasn't exactly something that would help me in life. Ever since it happened it had only brung me bad things; first I couldn't study, then I kissed him though he was smoking, then I couldn't study again and now I was aimlessly walking across stranger's lawns. _Stranger's lawns_. Suddenly I was brought out of my thoughts and realized my surroundings, I was halfway across the yard that lead to the woods we were in yesterday. Now I knew my mind was scattered all over the place. The resting place in this forest was not a place I usually went to. All thoughts of Duncan must have poisoned my mind into thinking that spot was somewhere I liked being, or somewhere I had even been before yesterday. Quickly and determined I turned on my heels and walked in a fast pace toward the school grounds. Maybe academic surroundings would help me get back on track?

The school wasn't that far away, and once I had a goal in my mind it helped to sort everything out. Duncan and me was nothing but a hookup I would come to regret, dad being gone was nothing out of the ordinary, whatever he was up to was his problem and not mine, mom being away with only Will was sad, but I couldn't visit grandmother, I didn't have the time. Everything would be alright and I would try studying again when I got back home.

"Well, well, well", a voice behind me uttered. I was halfway across the school's parking lot, trying to reach my favourite tree in the courtyard. I had been looking down at my feet the entire way here, not seeing anything but the asphalt underneath my shoes and my legs walking forwards. "Can't get enough of me, can you, princess?" Duncan's voice echoed against the empty parking lot and I turned around to face him.

"Why are you here?" I sighed and crossed my arms. I can't believe I ever let him touch me in such a way, seeing him standing in front of me, leaning against his motorcycle, was enough to get my blood boiling. All I wanted was peace and quiet, and I was met by the complete opposite personified.

"I could ask you the same thing", he raised an eyebrow.

"I was going to read", I said and shifted my weight so I was supported by only my right leg instead of both, quirking my hip outward in the process.

"Without a book", Duncan sneered at me and looked me up and down, making a point of my empty shoulder and back. The bag I usually dragged with me everywhere was still laying on the floor in my room.

"Shut up!" I screeched when all other rational answers left my mind. I turned around quickly and started stalking quickly toward the courtyard. Behind me I could hear the heavy steps of Duncan trying to reach me.

"Hey, don't be like that", he said once he caught up with me.

"Like what? Like me?" I threw my hands to the sides dramatically and quickened my steps.

"Well… yes", Duncan exclaimed after a few seconds of thought.

"Ugh", was all I could bare to say.

"Oh come on", he whined next to me and took a firm grip around my wrist, forcing us both to a stop.

"What?" I spat out once our eyes met.

Instead of answering me Duncan took ahold of my other wrist as well, massaging my pulse points with his thumbs. I don't know how or why, but suddenly I was relaxed once again, just like last night. His hands wandered up and took a grip around my shoulders. He didn't use any words, it was like his eyes and hands spoke to me all on their own. We stood at arms length apart, not close enough to feel his warm breath or hear his heartbeat, but close enough to be once again intoxicated by his scent.

"You wanna read? Let's go get your book", Duncan said after minutes of silence and turned away from me, walking toward his motorcycle. He drove it often and was actually rather a skillful driver, never had I heard about an accident involving the vehicle. Still the thought about riding a two wheeled, badly-balanced, flame-bearing bike with an engine was not a thought I enjoyed.

"I am not getting on that", I said stubbornly and crossed my arms once I reached him and the parked death machine.

"That's what you said yesterday", Duncan wiggled his eyebrows and smirked at me, earning a kick to the shin. "Ow! Okay, okay, sorry." He held up his hands defensively and I smiled triumphantly to myself yet again. Everytime Duncan admits surrender it makes me feel powerful.

"I am still not getting on that death trap", I argued and held firm on my opinion.

"Come on, I've never crashed it", Duncan argued back and patted the leather seat proudly, "I take care of my baby."

"Your baby?" I snorted back at him and averted my eyes from his piercing gaze.

"Don't tell me you're jealous", he simpered and took a step forward, closing the gap between us. My crossed arms was now pressed up against his chest and my right knee was locked in between his legs. "No one can replace you", Duncan whispered and lifted my chin with his index finger, forcing me to meet his gaze.

"Fine", I answered his unspoken question to let him drive me home after a minute of just looking at each other. He hadn't tried to touch me in any inappropriate way, he hadn't spoken another word nor had I moved away from him. "But you have to drive slow and carefully." I tugged myself away from his body and took the helmet already sitting on the seat of the motorcycle. Duncan chuckled and watched me carefully as I sat up on the vehicle and put the helmet over my head.

"Come on", I called, trying to hold my balance while still maintaining my grace. Without a word Duncan sat up on the motorcycle as well and reached his arm back around me, scooting me closer to his back. When he started the engine and we drove off I instinctively wrapped my arms tight around his waist and tucked my head as close to him as I could with a big plastic bowl on my head.


	5. The danger of a fun game

**I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

"Still no dad, huh?" Duncan asked as we pulled up to my house, he parked the motorcycle outside the gate, knowing that no one in this neighborhood would want to steal it.

"Guess so", I shrug and unlock the gate to let Duncan in for the second time that weekend.

"That sucks", he murmured and walked ahead of me to the door, waiting for me to unlock that as well. "My folks are also gone most of the time, the station ain't exactly gonna shut down because it's dinner time."

"That must be lonely", I hear myself say as I let us both inside the house. All he does is shrug in response and then proceeds to kick of his shoes. I follow his lead but put them nicely next to the door instead of flinging them to wherever.

"Don't really think about it much. I prefer them gone anyway", Duncan says and hops up on the counter. The same counter he, not even 24 hours ago, pinned me against. The memories came flashing back in my head and I felt my heart pound hard.

"Why?" I ask intrigued and took a step closer to him, leaning against the kitchen island in front of him.

"Easier", he shrugged and looked away from me. I could sense he didn't want to talk about it, but I kept pushing.

"Easier how?"

"Quieter I guess." Duncan was trying to avoid my questions, avoid talking to me, just like last night. And I'd be damned if this turned out like yesterday.

"Duncan, talk to me", I pleaded and closed the gap between us, his knees pressed up against my chest and held me at a distance. There was more to Duncan than he liked to show, I could feel it and it gave me a little hope. Hope that maybe he wasn't such a caricature of the standard bad guy. "We can make it a game", I tried, with enthusiasm in my voice.

"What kind of game?" Duncan looked at me curiously and, of course, with a smirk.

"Whatever you want", I heard myself whisper. Instead of answering me he leaned down to my level and brushed his lips over mine, only slightly touching them. "I take that as a yes."

* * *

"I thought you said this would be fun", Duncan whined once we reached my bedroom. He had immediately taken a seat on my bed while I placed myself on the chair at my desk.

"I never said that. I said we could make it a game", I said truthfully and picked up my biology book.

"Games are usually fun", he sighed and fell down on the mattress, letting his legs hang over the edge.

"Okay, here's how it's going to work. You ask me a question from this", I held up the biology book, not that he could see it laying down on the bed, "if I get it right you have to tell me something about yourself."

"And what if you get a question wrong?" Duncan asked and propped himself up on an elbow.

"I won't though", I said cockily and threw the book to him.

"But what if you do?" he pushed and started flip through the pages.

"Fine", I sighed, "you come up with something." To this he laid the book down and smirked at me with a twinkle in his eyes. And at the exact moment his gaze glistened with excitement, at that exact moment I regretted our deal.

After 23 questions from the book, 19 of them correct while a horrific four of them wrong, I had learned a lot about the green haired bad boy still laying in my bed. Both his parents worked a lot, leaving him home alone most of the time. He never really flunked anything simply to keep them happy, he studied and worked hard enough so he just barely passed the courses, but not a single point more than needed. He almost went to bed with this blonde bimbo in the year below us that had been held back twice, but couldn't stop laughing at her stupidness and her sweatband wearing boyfriend burst in the room from the sound of the laughter. He was allergic to oranges but the most important fact of all; his father had thrown him out last week. Duncan said there was no reason, that his father was simply tired of all of his son's shenanigans and trouble making.

I had met his father once before, not even knowing it was him until afterwards. It was a lecture for the entire school in our auditorium. The man was a tall, muscular guy with gray hair and a very stern voice that never failed. He talked for two hours about drunken driving and all its consequences. Knowing his feelings and reactions about one illegal activity I could imagine him being done with Duncan's shit at this point.

Duncan's _fun_ little addition to our game was of course sexual. For every wrong answer I was to remove an item of clothing. I refused at first, but once he reminded me of our verbal contract I complied. The chapter I studied only contained 23 questions, which meant we were now done and I was half naked. I had been stubborn, taking of one sock at a time, then my shirt and eventually my pants. He had whined and rolled his eyes at me when I told him socks were two different items and therefore two different questions.

"Where have you been sleeping?" I asked and sat at the edge of the bed, laying a hand on his shoulder in comfort.

"Eh, everywhere I could", he shrugged, not wanting me to know he was hurt and more affected than he showed by this entire ordeal.

"Geoff's?"

"Two nights, then at Nick's one night. My aunt took me in one day also, but dad called her before the night was even over so she threw me out. But mostly in the woods, you know." Duncan looked at me and started stroking my arm. My naked, very naked and very cold, arm.

I nodded at him and traced his fingers with my gaze, remembering the hidden campgrounds he had showed me yesterday.

"Look, don't worry about it. Okay? He overreacts all the time, this is not the first time", Duncan reassured me and traced his fingers all the way up to my shoulder. He lightly dragged the back of his hand up and down the crook of my neck, creating goosebumps wherever he touched.

"But he can't do that. Can he?" I chewed my lips and leaned my head against his hand, letting myself rest in it.

"Come on, Princess. Cheer up", Duncan tried and stroke my cheeks with his thumb. I glared at him and quickly stood up from the bed, letting his arm fall hard against the mattress.

"I need to get those last four questions correct. It's bugging the crap out of me", I sighed and wrapped myself in the robe I wore just this morning. It felt like we had traveled back in time; me at the desk without clothes, Duncan in my bed sighing at my academic goals.

"You're such a _bore_ ", he dragged out the last word to annoy me. I knew him well enough to know that. But no matter how much I tried to resist the urge to irk him back, I couldn't.

"Shut up, I am not!" I cried and slammed the biology book down on the desk.

"A perfectly hot guy is laying in your bed", he motioned to himself with the arm I had let fall off me, "ready for some loving, and you're gonna choose to _read_. That is what I call a bore."

"Loving? Seriously?" I quirked an eyebrow but kept my eyes on the pages, though not taking in any of the words written on it.

"What?" Duncan asked, dragging out the word as long as possible with an irritating tone.  
"You've always been vulgar in your speech, suddenly you're not", I shrugged.  
"Fine, fucking. I'm ready for some fucking", he chuckled and my head flew in his direction fast at the word. I glared at him with every power of my being but he just smirked in response.

"Shut up", I gasped, as if my parents would burst into my room any minute and give us a scolding on vulgar and vivid language.

"Why?" he challenged.

"You can't say that here", I whispered loudly and angrily. It was a reflex I guess, from all the years of having to behave extraordinarily good at rich-people-gatherings.

"What can't I say?" He kept on smirking as he sat up on the bed in indian style with one leg bent up so he could rest his arm on his knee.

"That word." My voice rose higher and I was now practically screaming at him. My arms flailed around in the air in crazy gestures and I swore if someone looked in my window they would call a hospital.  
"Fucking?" Duncan asked and raised one eyebrow, clearly trying to push my buttons.

"Yes! Now shut up", I yelled and returned my gaze to the book, flipping through the pages and trying to find the questions Duncan had asked me.

"Make me." I could practically hear the smirking in his voice and see it plastered on his face.  
"Uh, pig." I rolled my eyes and flipped another page in the book, finally landing on the right questions. The bed creaked as Duncan stood up from it and walked over to stand behind me, laying his hands on each of my shoulders.

"Come on, you know this one", he said in a voice that was mixed with hope and seduction. My eyes stared at the words as I scanned my mind for answers. _Inflated pod plants from the F1 generation were crossed with their constricted pod parents to produce a total of 280 offspring. What are the expected numbers of offspring with each phenotype?_

"I know you know", Duncan lowered his voice and his face followed, his breath grazing the back of my neck as he spoke.

"Uhm… 70 inflated and 210 constricted", I blurted out and felt the hair on my neck stand up from his warm breath.

"Good girl." Duncan kissed my neck lightly before dragging his tongue all the way to my ear and kissing behind my earlobe as well. It felt insanely good and I had to suppress a moan from escaping. "Next question", he whispered sultry and moved some hair out of my face; the touch felt electrifying. _What is the single cell formed after fertilisation called?_

"It's a zygote", I exclaimed as the memory of that class surfaced in my brain.

"It sure is", Duncan mumbled and kissed the nook of my neck, all while dragging his fingers lightly over my arms, scooting away the fabric that covered them. The next right answer was congratulated by his fingers stroking the fabric of the robe all the way up to my shoulders, he gently dragged the robe away and let it fall off my upper body, peppering my neck and shoulders with kisses. The final question was an easy one, I couldn't believe I hadn't gotten it the first time. Maybe I subconsciously wanted to get it wrong? Without those four questions we wouldn't be in this situation.

"See, I knew you knew this shit", he whispered and traced his fingertips down my now naked collarbones. The robe was still tied around my waist and it's night blue fabric laid scattered in my knee.

"This isn't shit", I managed to get out in a normal tone. He was screwing with me, I could feel it.

"Mhm", he answered and made his way to my waist, holding me still with his big hands. Duncan wasn't eager, he took his time and made me shiver every chance he got. Anyone watching would've easily known he was enjoying this as much as I was, if not more. His fingers creating goosebumps wherever they traced, his kisses brewing moans and gasps in my throat, and worst of all; his sweet, low voice that created a warmth between my legs that just wouldn't go away unless I did something about it. I was unaware of how much time that passed between me putting the robe on and the compromising situation we were in now, it felt like an eternity and a second at the same time. I wanted more and I wanted it to stop. My mind was a mess and there was only one way to clear it; we both knew how this was going to end.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay so I literally googled "biology exam for year 12" to make this chapter a bit more realistic, you better appreciate it, lol. Also, yes, in this (my) AU Duncan almost had sex with Lindsay during one of her "who is Tyler?" periods... and he is allergic to oranges, idk why though**


	6. The danger of taking a break & relaxing

**A/N: More smut to the people!**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

Duncan untied my robe and let it fall on the chair instead of my knee, he grabbed my wrists with a gentle yet hard grip and prompted me to stand up. I shot up straight as my feet landed on the laminate floor, they had been firmly wrapped around the chair's legs and I was shocked at the sudden coldness.

"Eager, I like that", Duncan grinned and let go of my wrists, holding my waist instead. His eyes locked ahold of mine the second my gaze was no longer staring at the backstabbingfloor. They were playful yet serious and passionate, just like everything else about him his eyes were also a contradiction to itself.

"Shut up", I spat back and stomped his foot with mine, though not putting any weight under the action and letting him off scot-free. Duncan only snickered at my stubbornness and dragged my body closer to his, the hard bulge in his pants pressed against my navel.

"You want this?" He asked in a low voice full of concern and seduction. The concern made it sound like he would do anything for me at that moment, the seduction however overshadowed it and made the question sound dangerous, like a command from a general. The intense mixture of sweet and salt that was Duncan made my choice crystal clear.

"Yes", I nodded and pressed my lips to his. His hands dragged me even closer; who even knew that was possible? My chest pressed up against his and I found it hard to breath from the pressure, his caged erection kept trying to push out of his jeans and my right leg instinctively moved its way to his waist, making me stand on my toes before he hoisted me up on his body fully. His tongue parted my lips and made its way to mine, they danced around each other and made moans escape from both of us. Duncan took a firm grip under my butt and held me tight against him, all while our lips and tongues kept moving in a fiery hot dance. He walked backwards until the back of his knees hit my bed. We both fell down on the mattress and the creak of the bedframe was high and would have disturbed anyone in the house, if we weren't alone that is.

We pulled apart unwillingly to catch our breaths and my eyes immediately found his. He breathed heavily and ran his fingers up and down my spine, not breaking eye contact even for a second. His messy mohawk was ruffled and limp from two days without styling, and one incredible lovemaking session. His forehead was already covered in small beads of sweat that reflected the light, making his skin glisten. I imagined I looked just as wild as he did at that moment. My hands held his cheeks and my knees on each side of his legs caged him down on the bed, a false feeling of being in charge filled my being and I had always been one to love control. I could feel drops of sweat trickle down my back and on the back of my knees. My hair felt heavy yet light and was probably as much of a mess as his.

"You're beautiful", Duncan whispered as if reading my mind before smashing his mouth against mine for the third time that day. It felt like so long ago we sat out on the glazed terrace, yet it had only been a couple of hours. Our tongues made their way to each other fast this time, like they were old friends.

Duncan's hands kept stroking my back, making their way to my waist, gripping my sides, then wandering up to my neck and shoulders, he dragged a finger across the arch of my back and brazed the edge of my panties. His hands never wavered from their path and it made me impatient.

"Get this off", I mumbled against his lips and tugged at the hem of his shirt. As instructed Duncan pulled his shirt off, our mouths only breaking apart for a second as the fabric passed between us. My lips immediately found his the instant his shirt was on the floor.

"You wanna do this?" Duncan said as he broke free from our kiss and breathed heavily. My lips started tracing down his cheeks, down his throat, stopping at the crook of his neck right above his collarbone. "Okay", he chuckled and unclasped my bra, my eager kisses was all the answer he needed. I nibbled and sucked on his skin, renewing the marks I had left on him yesterday. Duncan moaned loudly and grasped my back hard, probably leaving his own marks as well.

Suddenly, like out of nowhere, Duncan flipped us over and moved us up the mattress till the headboard. I guess he got impatient as I had earlier, because in no time at all his pants laid on the floor next to his shirt and my bra. He growled as he climbed over me, caging me in with his arms. For a minute we stayed still, looking at each other, feeling the skin move against the others as we breathed. For a minute everything went quiet inside my head and I had never felt so at ease.

"Come on", I said and broke the silence, kissing Duncan once more while I fumbled with the fly of his baggy jeans. They seemed to be a couple sizes too big and I could imagine the near broken button and worn out fly were the only two things making sure the pants stayed on. Within seconds the only thing separating us was his boxers and my panties. His erection was almost free, not caged as before, and it felt good rubbing up against me.

"God", I heard Duncan murmur as he moved his lips away from mine to the side of my head, burying his face in my hair and brazing my ear with the tip of his tongue. I reached down and grabbed his member, massaging it with the help of the moving fabric. He moaned in my ear and it made me want more, more, more.

"Come on", I repeated pouting and tugged at his underwear, Duncan reached down and shimmied them down to his ankles before kicking them off the bed completely. We cooperated on getting my underwear off, me being too eager and wanting to get them off fast, he wanting to take it slow and grace my skin while dragging them down my legs. I almost repeated the two words a third time but before I had a chance to open my mouth again Duncan's was right there breathing in the unspoken sentence.

"You ready?" Duncan asked and looked me deep in the eyes for a hidden answer, like I would say yes but mean no. I nodded at him with a slight smile and stroked the sides of his face, carefully playing with his eyebrow piercing before kissing his cheek gently.

Duncan positioned himself in front of my opening and teased me with his tip, going in a centimeter or two before pulling out and caressing my clit with his erection, then dip into me once more before pulling away and repeating the same maneuver over and over. After a few torturing moments of this game he played I pushed my hips forward and he entered me forcefully, making us both gasp and moan in ecstasy.

"Oh god", I groaned and pulled his face closer to mine, holding the sides of it so his gaze wouldn't stray away from me. Duncan kept a steady and hard rhythm that made both of us gasp at each thrust. He went harder and harder, and I couldn't take it anymore. I dragged him down to me, crashing our chests together and I nuzzled the crook of his neck. I breathed in his scent and focused on the lavender breaking through. My fingers digged into his back, creating deep marks, as I came beneath him; no chance to escape the powerful feeling overtaking my body. My screams were muffled against his neck and I could swear if I didn't hold him so close the neighbors would hear.

"I'm gonna, I'm gonna..." Duncan gasped in between thrusts and I could feel him tensing up. Just as my own orgasm simmered out his began. With a loud groan of "Oh fuck" he released himself in me.

We laid there, still connected below our waists in the most intimate way ever, for a few minutes as both of us trying to catch our breaths. When he eventually rolled off me my body felt weirdly cold without his pressed against me.

"See, studying isn't all books and text", Duncan smirked and put both his hands behind his head, not even bothering to cover up his naked body.

* * *

"Man, I'm hungry", Duncan said and patted his stomach. He laid spread out on the couch in our living-room while I had taken a seat in a nearby armchair. The furniture all faced a big fireplace, we didn't really bother so much with TV in my family, not in the fancy rooms at least. My legs were swung over one armrest and my back rested against the other so I could look at the neanderthal that somehow had managed to wiggle his way in and spend almost as much time at this house as I had this weekend; me only beating him with two hours.

"So?" I raised an eyebrow, "it's not my obligation to feed you."

"Yeah, well it's your house. Thought I would have _some_ manner and not destroy the kitchen", Duncan challenged and poked one of my feet hanging near his face. I kicked his hand away with not nearly enough force to hurt anyone and started a steady rhythm of swinging.

He laid an arm across his face and covered his eyes, sighing loudly and dramatically. I rolled my eyes at his display but did not budge, staying firmly placed in the cozy armchair.

"Food", he irked in a deep, zombie-like voice, dragging out the syllables like an impatient child.

"Your motorcycle's outside. Go get something", I said casually and picked at my nails, still keeping up with the steady swinging of my feet. Duncan and I had laid in my bed for ten more minutes before getting dressed and walking downstairs, I wanted desperately to get him out of my room to decrease the risk of sleeping with him again. I was not to have sex on the family-couch near a glass door in which anyone could look if they wanted - and were creepy enough to peep into people's homes.

"And leave the princess alone and starving?" Duncan said in a mocking tone and sat halfway up in the couch and leaned against its armrest, mimicking my position minus the leg-swinging. I simply stuck my tongue out at him and then returned my gaze to my nails. "Come on", he pushed, "don't be like that. I'm bored. And hungry."

"Not my problem", I responded and smiled smugly, making the right half of my face crease up. Duncan scooted up in the couch and was now facing me, one elbow leaning against the armrest and his chin resting in his hand. Before either of us could speak again my own stomach rumbled.

"You need to eat too", he said and gestured to the growling body part of mine. I was suddenly painfully aware of the fact I hadn't eaten breakfast today, nor dinner yesterday. My only energy came from yesterday's lunch and the surprisingly deep sleep I had enjoyed during the night. A part of me thought maybe Duncan's warm body and strong - but yet comfortable and pleasant - scent were responsible for that, another part of me screamed no at that thought and logically knew I had simply been exhausted.

"Fine", I sighed but smiled at Duncan and swung my legs down from the armrest. He too got up from his sitting position and started walking to the kitchen, not bothering to check if I was following. I looked out the glass door and was met by darkness, the glazed terrace only being lit up by the street lamp a few metres away. A glance at the clock above the fireplace told me it was already dinner time, 6pm. I sighed one more time before getting up and walking to the kitchen.

Duncan was already head deep in the fridge, a few plastic boxes filled with leftovers stood on the counter next to him. I leaned against the kitchen island opposite the fridge and watched as he rummaged through every single shelf in it. Finally he took out two soda cans and slammed them down on the counter next to all the food, before closing the thick, steel door. I eyed all the containers and raised an eyebrow at Duncan.

"That is a lot of food", I pointed out. He waved off the comment with a pale hand before cracking open one of the sodas.

"What? A man needs to eat, woman", Duncan shrugged and leaned on the counter next to all the food, taking a sip from the can in his hand. He mimicked my position, supporting himself with one elbow and letting the other arm rest near his torso.

"So that's all for you?" I gestured to the plastic containers.

"If you're a good girl I'll maybe let you taste some", Duncan suggested with a low voice and eyed me up and down with that stupid smirk on his face, that suddenly made me feel some sort of way.

"Ugh, you can be so misogynistic", I exclaimed and glared daggers in his direction, not wanting to make eye contact but wanting to be intimidating enough that he would back off with the sexual comments.

"Whatever", Duncan shrugged once more, took a big gulp from his soda and turned around. He lifted one of the containers and held it up into the light, as a cashier might do to see the authenticity of a dollar bill. I rolled my eyes, with such force it was almost audible, and walked up to stand next to him, picking up one of the plastic boxes as well.

We ate dinner together in front of the open fireplace, both sitting on the couch next to each other. The fire died out all by itself after a few hours and we succumbed to the sudden darkness around us.


	7. The danger of making decisions

**I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

I was woken Sunday morning by a repetitive poking in my left cheek. I tried swatting the disturbance away with a weak hand but it came back nonetheless. I grunted and turned away from the annoyance, only for it to repeatedly start on my other cheek.

"Wakey, wakey", a voice next to my ear cooed, mocking the way overly-affectionate grandmothers would wake you up when you were five. I only grunted once more in response and tried to avoid what I assumed - and hoped to god - was Duncan's finger. The poking stopped momentarily only for a soft stroking to appear in its place.

"I'm up", I mumbled groggily and buried my head deep in a pillow.

"Mhm, I believe you, princess", Duncan answered in a voice only slightly higher than a whisper. His finger started tracing its way down my neck, slightly pushing on the lovingly-made bruises created by his lips.

I had known Duncan for years, school bringing us together everyday, yet this side was one I had never seen before. The flirting Duncan had been around for almost as long as I could remember, the criminal Duncan was created about five years ago in a try to rebel against his family as he entered puberty and wanted to break loose, the 'I don't care about anything' Duncan was around all the time and always shined through no matter what mood he was in. But never had I ever seen this soft side, the caring one that left kisses along my thighs, the honest one that confined in me about his problems.

"What time is it?" My voice sounded strained as the sleep had yet to disappear. Duncan lifted his head and looked at the clock on my bedside table.

"Almost 10.30", he answered as he laid his head back down on the pillow, his green locks spilling out over the white case like watercolor with too much water when painting a standing picture.

"10.30?" I yelped and sat up so fast I almost experienced whiplash. Normally I would have an alarm set for 9am on sunday mornings, I would make a big breakfast and eat at the kitchen table while reading. If I didn't have any homework or studying to do, which I often did every Friday and Saturday so I would have Sunday's off, it would be my favorite collection of poems. Sometimes I tried writing my own, trying to scribble down every word that flew around in my head, but it often ended up in the trashcan. After breakfast it was time for violin practice, one hour at least; my sheet music were all gathered in a special purple folder in my bookshelf. I spoil myself with a hot bubble bath and facemask, after which the day always end with a sophisticated french manicure on both my toes and fingers.

"Yeah?" Duncan sounded confused as he rubbed the side of his face with the entirety of his right palm.

"I've overslept", I groaned and flung my legs over the side of the bed, not yet realizing I was completely naked.

"Overslept? For what?" Duncan sat up in the bed as well, legs on each side of me, his chest pressed to my back. His left hand started stroking my arm in a calming matter.

"I-I", I shook my head and let out a deep sigh, "I have certain routines, like getting up at nine on Sundays'."

"Nine? But you're free to do whatever the hell you want. Sleep the day away", he exclaimed in a voice that told me he did just that every weekend. Of course someone like him didn't have any structure and stability in his days.

"Which means I'm free to wake up at nine if I want to", I huffed and slanted my chin upwards, crossing my arms over my chest the process.

"Oh come on", Duncan sighed and flopped down on the mattress again, " _why_ would you wanna go up with the fucking sun?"

"I'll have you know, the sun rises around six." I uncrossed my arms to steady myself as I turned to look at him, a frown forming on my face.

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say, ma'am", he waved me off and closed his eyes, looking relaxed despite the sudden news of my ruined day.

"Ma'am's are for old ladies", I spat out and eyed him intently, if he dared open his eyes he would be met by two dark, irate orbs.

"Come on, don't be like that", Duncan said and pouted in what looked like a style of mocking. I was not going to let him get to me. I wanted my 'me' day. I needed it. I earned it! Every week I worked my butt off in school, at the debate team and even at home; I deserve to spend a day a week dedicated to myself.

"You just don't get it", I sighed angrily and stood up from the bed. Suddenly the realization flashed before me as my naked feet touched the floor, I was without clothes. "Why am I naked?" Duncan's eyes opened as he lifted his head from the pillow and he eyed me up and down. Taking extra long time when looking at my legs and breasts.

"It suits you, babe", he smirked and dragged the covers away from his own legs. As I looked at his movements my own eyes got caught at his chest. The not-so-morning sun had still not risen all the way up the sky and its strong rays lit up Duncan's body just like it had yesterday, his skin glistening in the warm light.

"Pig", I said as I managed to tear my eyes from his torso and regain focus. My hands quickly found the blue robe hanging on a hook near my bed, and I wrapped myself up in it. I really should wash it, it had been worn three times now in a matter of two days.

"But at least we match, I know how much you girls love that", Duncan continued as if I had said nothing. I had not realized it before, thinking maybe he was wearing boxers, but as he laid relaxed on the bed with only a thin cover the outlines of his body showed. His legs stuck out from the white duvet as well as his torso, leaving little to the imagination. Well, nothing really, I had seen it repeatedly already.

"Eew", I pressed out for old time's sake, my tone sounded disgusted but my face showed I was slightly amused. Only slightly though.

"Come here", Duncan demanded in a soft voice and patted the empty space on the bed next to him. You could still see the dent where my body had laid only minutes ago. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I obeyed his wish, showing him I was not happy about loosing my day. He welcomed me with open arms as I laid down next to him, his arm found a comfortable place underneath my neck working as a pillow for me.

"You're not an old lady", Duncan cooed and kissed the top of my head. It felt weird, that gentle and romantic gesture was nothing I had ever expected come from the punk-teen. "But you have the mind of one", he chuckled, earning a deathly glare from me. Of course he couldn't be serious. His eyes looked at me with a soft expression full of what looked like happiness, making the death glare glide off my features. Damn. Only two days ago Duncan had no effect on my emotions, unless it was to tick me off - which he did, a lot, and successfully -, and now we laid in each other arms, looking gently at the other.

"This is weird", I frowned and snapped my eyes away from his. If I stopped looking into them, maybe the tingly feeling in my body would disappear.

"What is?" Duncan asked with confusion.

"This. You, in my bed. With me. Again. Us!" I emphasized and gestured with a wild arm between the two of us, the bed and the rest of my room.

"What do you mean?" His brows wrinkled together as he tried to piece the puzzle together. How did he not understand? He was _so_ not my type, and I was not the kind of girl you would usually find him flirting with.

"Ugh", I sighed and stopped myself from slapping my hand to my forehead, "this entire weekend. Where did this come from? I have never even thought the thought, and now we've", I paused and look around as if we would suddenly not be alone, "we've done the deed." I finished in a whisper from behind gritted teeth.

"Oh, really?" Duncan raised an eyebrow and looked down at me unconvinced. "You've never thought about it?" His voice was low and full of seduction, and I could swear he purred slightly at the end.

Okay, so it was no secret Duncan looked good. And maybe, just maybe, I had noticed it before Friday. Maybe I liked the way the green stood out from everything, that it was unique and such a person-identifier. And I must admit, confidence is sexy, and if there was one thing Duncan didn't lack it was confidence. I always knew I liked the fire within him, he was my match when it came to arguing; he gave me a challenge, and I never backed down from a challenge, I knew I could do anything I set my mind to.

"No. Never", I said with fluttering eyes, trying to avoid his persistent gaze. Though no matter how convincing I sounded I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks and knew they were probably betraying my composure.

"Never", Duncan repeated and nodded his head yes, his tone unconvinced and even a little mocking as his lips curled up into a smirk.

The room went silent for a few moments and neither of us moved.

"Have you?" I broke the silence as I managed to ask in a voice even lower than a whisper.

"Have I what?" Duncan responded, not putting two and two together just yet. "Oh, thought about it?" He paused and waited for an answer, a confirmation, but getting none. "Of course", he finally said and shrugged it off as if it was nothing. "You're hot as hell, feisty and you can outwit anyone anytime. Not to mention, you know, you're an uptight girl and I'm the boy that could show you a good time."

"Oh, so I have boobs and need to relax?" I asked exasperated, seeing through the first few compliments in his statement.

"Well you're relaxed now aren't you?" Duncan said and raised an eyebrow.

"I-well. I." I stammered before giving in to silence for a couple of seconds. "I am", I sighed in defeat as I realized my body was not tense as usual and my mind pretty clear.

"So maybe 'doing the deed'", he chuckled as he repeated my own term back to me, "is not so bad?"

Taken aback by the theory I frowned and slapped his arm, causing an annoyed sound from Duncan that I chose to ignore. But the more time that passed, the more I thought about the idea. And somehow, in the most unreal fantasy, Duncan made sense. Three minutes passed by in silence as I weighed the pro's and con's.

Pro, I would have a way to de-stress and relax before snapping at undeserving people.

Con, doing it was wrong and would result in a bad habit.

Pro, but it wasn't _that wrong_. Everyone have bad habits.

Con, it's Duncan.

Pro, at least he's a friend and not a stranger.

Pro, and he's an attractive friend.

Pro, I could totally live with feeling as unwind as right now.

"Okay", I whispered and nodded. Agreeing to an unasked question. Geoff does parties, Bridgette does yoga, DJ does some cooking, Duncan does illegal activity and smoking. And I, I would do Duncan.

* * *

I looked anxiously at the clock as Duncan ate his sandwich particularly slow. It was twenty five minutes to three and I had a feeling my dad would be home any minute. Whenever he was away during the weekend, he always made sure to come back home before dinner time on Sundays'.

"Would you hurry up?" I cried out and threw my arms in the air dramatically. We were sitting at the kitchen table across from each other, I staring and the clock while he was eyeing his sandwich like it was the cure to every disease in the world.

"What?" Duncan looked up at me with his mouth full of food.

"Eat up. You have to go", I snapped and leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms.

"Why?" he asked while chewing, retreating his eyes to the pieces of bread in his hands. He didn't sound insulted I wanted him to leave, more like he already knew and refused to anyway.

"Don't speak with food in your mouth", I grimaced as I shot another glance at the clock on the wall across from me.

Duncan chewed loudly before swallowing equally so. The sound of saliva and bread crawling its way down his throat disgusted me and made him leaving much easier.

"Ah! Happy?" he sneered while he opened his now empty mouth for me to see. I only glared at him for answer. Before taking another bite he asked again, "Why do I have to leave?"

"Because my dad might come home", I scoffed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"So?" Duncan asked, still with the bite in his mouth, but he had enough decency to cover it with his hand while he spoke.

"So I don't want him to meet you", I answered in a matter-of-fact tone. My parents would probably ground me for weeks if they found such a vibrant and free-speaking delinquent in their house, especially if they knew he spent the last two nights.

"Why not?" Duncan asked, he actually looked slightly offended.

"Because look at you", I snapped yet again and gestured with sharp arms toward the green-haired punk sitting across from me.

"I look cool", Duncan defended and tossed the last piece of sandwich in his mouth, almost like one would throw a popcorn in the air and catch it.

"My parents wouldn't think so", I sighed and leaned back in my chair again, letting my arms fall down on the table.

"Your parents, huh?" he raised an eyebrow, noting the fact I had not added myself to that list. When he first started sporting that fake mohawk I had found it disturbing. The amount of products he had to use must be ridiculous, and every now and then the soft spikes on his head changed color. Over the years I had grown accustomed to the style though, I stopped being bothered by it and our friendship - or what you want to call it - had remained as usual. After two years Geoff had stupidly suggested piercings would go hand in hand with the rest of Duncan's new punk appearance; and Duncan being the impressionable child he used to be, of course listened and he liked the way they looked on him. Ever since then his collection of body jewelry has only grown. I, myself, had my ears pierced when I was younger, and in more recent years I've been wondering about maybe add a hole or two on my earlobes.

"Won't you just go?" I sighed and put a tired hand to my forehead. "Please", I added with my eyes closed and my lips pursed.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get your panties in a twist", Duncan agreed with an irate voice and stood up from the chair. "If you want me gone so bad, I'll get out of your sight."

"Yes, thank you!" I exclaimed a little too happily, not understanding how it might've come across. I was only worried about my dad seeing him and putting two and two together, and disapproving of the situation. Over the last few days I'd grown used to have the company of Duncan being a constant, he was actually quite nice to be around once you got past the layer of hatred and delinquency.

"Fine", Duncan snapped, and with that, he left.


	8. The danger of the Monday after

**A/N: AKA the first chapter I wrote for this story. At the beginning I didn't know if I wanted to explore the weekend (the previous seven chapters) but decided very quickly that it needed to be written before the Monday could be.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

"Had a good weekend?" Bridgette asked smiling, leaning against the locker next to mine. It was Monday, seven minutes to eleven and my biology class ended three minutes ago; with the studying I managed to get in this weekend I felt really good about the test next week. It was lunchtime now and that meant I was going to have to face him again.

"Huh?" I wasn't even listening, which was odd, I always paid attention when someone talked to me. These past few days had basically turned me into another person. Who knew some company and skin could be so comforting and unwinding?

"Well you're so relaxed, figured you've had a nice weekend. Did the yoga I showed you last week work?" she blurted out with so much pride in the thought of helping the school's most stressed out student. I furrowed my brows and shook my head slightly, as to think.

"Uh, yeah. I did that whole breathing thing and..." that's as far as I got before the chatter started from my blonde friend again. I took the last book from my locker and closed it before turning to start walking towards the backside of school grounds. Bridgette was half a step behind me, hands in the pockets of her hoodie, still rambling on about the technique of mastering yoga. As we got to the grass covered part of school grounds Bridgette bolted away from my side and up to her half-dressed boyfriend.

"Hi baby", Geoff slurred out and rubbed his templates, but still smiling at the sight of his partner.

He was certainly hungover; his parents had been gone for the weekend and as the party guy himself had stated ' _dudes and I are just gonna get a keg and chillax'_ , which in Geoff-language meant mega party. Bridgette had mixed feelings at her boyfriend's partying lifestyle. She had gone over to his house on Sunday morning to help him clean up, but they ended up sharing the remaining beer, which did not at all help Geoff's already weakened state. She had begged me to go with and ' _put down the homework for once'_ , I was lucky to get out of it. If you think those two are all over each other normally, you don't want to be around the couple when they're both drunk. I'd made that mistakes one too many times for my liking.

"Here you go, honey." Bridgette gave her boyfriend the water-bottle from her backpack and kissed his cheek as he gladly chugged half of its content. By this point I had already made my way over to the pair and managed to sit down next to them, leaning against the tree conveniently behind me. The courtyard had its fair share of trees you could lean on and even some bigger rocks that worked as sitting places. But this tree was my favorite; during lunch hours the sun hit the spot perfectly but the branches hung low enough as to not get blinded by the strong light, it was close to the edge of school grounds, but far away from the parking lot. Everything about it was absolutely perfect.

"Hot stuff", Duncan greeted me and lit his cigarette. I hadn't even noticed him until he spoke, I'd been bathing in the sun and relaxing instead, soaking up all the vitamin D I could manage before another lecture indoors. Yeah, the spot was perfect, except that _he_ also found it perfect, and I was trying my hardest to avoid him right now, not wanting to bring up our last meeting in my kitchen.

"Dude! That's your second one already", Geoff exclaimed and waved away the smoke floating in the air towards him. It was only about fifteen minutes into lunch time, but knowing the two they may have been sitting here for hours. Bridgette laid down on her back, head in Geoff's lap and proceeded the statement where he had stopped.

"Cigarettes cause so much trouble in your body. If you're going to smoke, at least blow it away from us", she pleaded and shot him an innocent smile. Duncan shrugged and took another drag, this time aiming the smoke away from the other three. The thing I found interesting about Geoff was his uttermost hate toward nicotine, yet he kept up his partying lifestyle with all the substances it involved.

"Man, he's late", Geoff mumbled and looked around the courtyard. He looked a bit sweaty, nervous, as his eyes darted around and his head following. Bridgette leaned upwards and whispered something in his ear making his entire face scrunch up. I closed my eyes and shifted my head to face the sun, hearing but not wanting to see the couple's soon to be argument. This was a routine for them; Geoff making bad decisions with his dealer on or near school grounds, Bridgette quietly scolding him for not thinking properly and so on.

"So..." I heard Duncan's say, also trying to block out the bickering couple, feeling his body shifting beside me I opened my eyes and was met by his teal ones looking straight on me. They were the perfect shade of blue and green mixed together, like clear water from a romantic movie or a dark summer sky without clouds. He took a long last drag from his cigarette before flicking it away without putting it out. No matter how much I was supposed to resent his habits of slow self destruction, I couldn't blame him; after all I had inhaled some smoke of my own.

"So?" I raised my eyebrows and faced away from him, spotting DJ as he walked towards us from the parking lot. Even from the distance between us I could see the relief on his face. He looked content and, well, relieved. The parking lot was in the other corner of the schoolyard, he still had a good dozens of meters to walk before reaching the perfect tree. Unfortunately, giving Duncan more than enough time to push my buttons as always.

"This weekend was fun", he said with a smirk, stroking his index finger across my knee. I swatted his hand away, like it was a fly about to sit on my food. "Oh, feisty", he teased and wiggled his eyebrows. He stretched out his legs and leaned backwards, letting his arms hold him up.

"Touch me like that again out in the open and I'll slap you", I whispered angrily. Geoff and Bridgette had stopped talking and I knew the female of the two was more likely than not to listen in on our conversation, if you could even call it that.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Duncan wiggled his eyebrows again. His voice was full of seductive undertones and still raspy from the cigarette. Before I could stop myself the mere thought of him whispering, breathing, in my ear sent shivers down my neck.

"Guys, he's okay!" DJ exclaimed loudly as he also sat down in our special little circle of messed up friendships. The guys exchanged high fives and Geoff even squeezed out a celebratory woo. Apparently DJ's cat was too eager when cleaning her fur, her stomach was full of hairballs and the poor feline hadn't been able to eat for days. But according to the brick house with a heart, a quick visit to the vet can fix anything.

Geoff started a long story about the party Duncan had missed and I decided to tune out and get some reading time in. I only just managed to find the correct page I was on and get out an apple from my bag, before DJ gasped loudly and caught all of our attentions.

"Duncan, what did you do to your neck?" The big guy had a hand covering his mouth as he spoke in shock, thinking the purple marks were bruises.

"Huh?" Duncan raised an eyebrow and turned his attention from Geoff to his bigger friend. "Oh", he chuckled and rubbed his neck with a hand, casting a quick glance in my direction. I folded the book shut but kept my thumb on the page I was to read later. I took a big bite of the apple, silently daring him to speak a word about our weekend, and hoping he wouldn't.

"Man, are those hickeys dude?" Geoff laughed with approval and offered another high five to the delinquent next to me, which he gladly reciprocated with a smirk on his face.

"Ugh", I rolled my eyes and made a disgusted noise I knew Duncan would hear.

"Well, you know", the green haired boy answered with a shrug, but the smirk on his lips was still intact. I had been smart, obviously, and wore a polo-necked t-shirt, but Duncan was still dressed in the same two shirts he had on Friday.

"Who's the chick?" Geoff asked and scooted closer to Duncan, making Bridgette sit up from her makeshift pillow.

"A gentleman don't kiss and tell", he answered with a satisfied look on his face and rested back on his elbows again.

"Doesn't", I muttered and flipped open my book again.

"What'd you say, babe?" Duncan looked up at me and his eyes glistened with deviance. Something in me told me he hadn't wanted the hickeys to go unnoticed, that he deliberately didn't cover them up just for the bragging rights of having gotten laid.

"A gentleman _doesn't_ kiss and tell", I clarified and glared at him.

"Okay", Bridgette laughed nervously and grabbed her boyfriend's arm gently, tugging him back to her side. Geoff obeyed her silent demand willingly and she wrapped her arms around one of his, resting her head on his shoulder.

The rest of the lunch period went by rather quickly and uneventful. It mostly consisted of the guys talking about plans for the week; after school hangouts and thoughts on another party this weekend. I was barely listening as I had started reading the book for English class as soon as Bridgette saved me from starting a fight in the middle of the schoolyard and Duncan gave in to the other conversations going around the group. As usual I was the first one to stand up, ready for the next class, and as usual Duncan took my perfect place under the tree as soon as my ass left the ground.

"Aren't you going to class?" I asked him annoyed, rolling my eyes as I gathered my books. He looked up at me and smirked, his hands behind his head.

"Nah", he simply stated before closing his eyes and shuffling his body down the trunk of the tree, almost laying down in the grass by this point.

"Ignore him", Bridgette took a hold of my arm and motioned for me to follow her into the building. Deciding that whatever Duncan had planned couldn't be as bad as throwing rocks at my window until I let him stay the night, I left with her.

* * *

As students poured out of the classroom after the lessons ended, I spotted the protruding green of Duncan's hair as he stood leaning against the wall opposite the door, one knee bent with his foot against the poorly painted concrete.

"Dude", Geoff exclaimed at the sight of his friend and the two bumped knuckles.

"Hey Duncan", Bridgette politely smiled and waved her hand in a small motion.

"DJ's on his way", Duncan explained and unbent his knee. Mondays' were days all four of us got out early, two classes before lunch and one after. The guys' had decided during lunch to go out and eat after they all were done in school.

"What you feeling for, hon?" Geoff asked his girlfriend and threw an arm around her shoulder.

"Oh, I don't know", she smiled sweetly before looking back at me, "are you joining? Won't be any fun without you."

"I have to-" was all I managed to say before Duncan cut me off, probably knowing I would blame some made up homework for my absence.

"No you don't. Come, princess", he said and I felt small shivers run up my spine at the mentioning of the word, memories of our encounters this weekend rushed through my head. "I want you to come", he said once more for emphasize, probably thinking the same that I was.

"Please, Court? You can study after", Bridgette pleaded and pouted her lips.

"Fine", I sighed and shook my head in defeat.

"Alright, dudette", Geoff offered a high-five which I reluctantly accepted. "Now, Duncan, dude", he continued and turned to the punk, "you have to tell us all about this mystery chick." Duncan's lips grew into a mischievous grin.

"Oh I will", he nodded slowly and squinted his eyes at me.


	9. The danger of diners & cars

**A/N: From here on my updates on this story are going to be more scattered out, not as frequent as before, because shit happens and life gets in the way. Thank you to everyone who reads this piece of crap, and an extra deep thanks to the ones who bother to review.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

"Okay", DJ said as we all sat down at a table far away from the door. Geoff and Bridgette on one side, me and DJ on the other, Duncan stole a chair from a table a few metres away and sat down at the edge, in between me and Geoff since we were seated at the ends closest to him. Duncan flipped the chair over, his chest leaning against the backrest and his arms on the rim of the cheap looking cafeteria chair.

"Dude, we need details, my man", Geoff said with his fists clenched in fake pain, as the information Duncan held was a cure for someone's horrible disease.

"I'm an open book, guys", Duncan smirked and opened his arms to make the point clearer.

"Maybe", I started and glared Duncan down, "you should respect her privacy."

"What she look like?" Geoff interrupted as if I had not spoken. My gaze continued to throw daggers at Duncan, ready to kill him if he as much as breathed something that could lead to me.

"Oh man", Duncan started, running a hand through his green spikes, "you should have seen her. I mean, she has legs for days, curves you could never even imagine." He outlined a curvaceous woman in the air for emphasis, making both me and Bridgette roll our eyes. Though deep down I felt small butterflies flutter in the pit of my stomach, never before had I had someone describe me with words of such nature. "Brown hair, fiery as hell", he chuckled, recalling my short temper and the snapping I did at him, "and well, I wear the results with pride." Duncan gestured a hand over his neck before dropping both of his hands in his lap.

"You gonna call her?" DJ piped up from beside me, if anything he was a true gentleman, bringing girls flowers and always keeping his promises to them.

Duncan shrugged, "Whenever I wanna have some fun."

"You're such a pig", I gasped in anger and kicked his shin underneath the table.

"Treat her right, my man", DJ continued.

"Yeah, yeah", Duncan waived the two of us off, "we gonna order, or what?" Under the table I felt Duncan's knees lean toward me, and before I could shove them away his left hand made it's way to my thigh. Immediately I could feel the electricity shoot up my back and I cursed inwardly.

Both me and Bridgette decided to go for caesar salads, Geoff ordered some chicken, DJ chose a panini while Duncan felt content with just a cup of coffee. The conversation about Duncan and 'his mystery chick' continued for too long.

"She practically threw herself at me, man", Duncan kept on explaining, all while his hand wandered up and down my thigh, making me feel hot and tingly.

"That why you missed my party, dude?" Geoff chimed in, his mouth full of chicken and sauce.

"Yeah", the green-haired teenager chuckled in response, he squeezed my upper thigh as he spoke, his thumb gently making small circles dangerously close to a certain area. "She begged me to stay the night." I had to bite my tongue as to not chip in that _he_ was the one to beg for a place to sleep.

"That farmer kid, Scott, brought this home brew that made everyone go crazy", Geoff gleamed at the memories.

"Next time", Duncan reassured his friend and took a big gulp of his beverage, his thumb still massaging the sensitive spot on my inner thigh. I could feel the heat rise between my legs; damn him.

"If you'll excuse me", I cleared my throat as I stood up from my chair and excused myself, "I have to make a phone call." I rushed past Duncan with quick and determined steps, and before I could even hear anyone's response I was outside the small diner. Once outside I walked around the corner, away from the windows so I could collect myself without being spied on.

"Calm down", I told myself and took a deep breath, "collect yourself, damn it!" Three more breaths, each one deeper than the one before. My eyes closed and I leaned back against the brick wall, the texture was rough and scratched my back through the fabric of my polo-shirt.

"That sounds like a good idea", a dark, familiar voice said from somewhere to my right. I opened one eye to peer at the intruder, only to see Duncan leaning against the corner a couple of metres away from me.

"What are you doing here?" I glared and closed my eye once more, focusing on my breaths.

"Nothing", he answered with faked innocence, "you seemed pretty flustered in there, just wanted to make sure you're alright."

"I was not flustered!" I cried out and stomped a foot in the ground, opening my eyes as my foot hit the solid material harder than I'd anticipated.

"Whatever floats your boat, princess", Duncan said and walked up to stand in front of me.

"Leave me alone", I pouted and looked away from his beaming eyes.

"Never", Duncan murmured in a sensual tone as he leaned down and kissed the crook of my neck. Even through the thick fabric I felt goosebumps begin to form. His hands were pressed firmly against the wall on both sides of my shoulders, caging me in.

"We're in public", I gasped and tried without force to push him off, my arms went weak and ended up simply resting against his chest.

"That makes it all the more exciting", he spoke against my ear, his hot breath tingling the little exposed skin I had. He kissed up behind my ear and down to the edge of my polo, even going so far as to drag the tip of his tongue along my earlobe and jawline.

"God", I moaned before being able to stop myself. No matter how hard I tried, my hands would not gather enough force to push him away. His kisses and touches were paralyzing and I lost myself in them.

"I want you", Duncan breathed heavily and tangled a hand in my hair, pulling away from my skin so he could look me deep in the eyes. When I didn't answer him, his assault on my ear and jaw started once more. He sucked gently on my earlobe before kissing his way down my jawline, up my cheek, over my nose, down the other cheek before sucking on my other earlobe as well.

"D-Dunc-" I started stammering, my words caught in my throat as I breathed roughly in response to his eagerness.

"Ssh, don't talk", he murmured before meeting my lips with his. He held my face with both hands and kissed me roughly. His tongue wandered from his mouth to in between my lips, parting them with light force. I allowed myself to lose control and meet his tongue with mine while I threw my arms around his neck, dragging him in closer. I could taste the nicotine from lunch that still lingered in his mouth, but the dominating taste was of the recent coffee. And god, had coffee ever tasted so good.

"Car", I managed to mumble against his lips. Duncan had ridden his motorcycle to the diner, but the rest of us had hitched with DJ in his newly painted, white town jeep. It looked a lot like a mini-van and probably belonged to his mother.

"Good idea", Duncan panted as he broke the kiss. He looked around for witnesses before taking ahold of my wrist and dragging me across the parking lot. DJ hadn't parked far away from the entré, which came in handy right now as the car was only a few steps from the brick wall.

"Get in", Duncan growled and opened one of the doors for me to climb in the backseat. His voice sounded demanding and made my already warm womanhood rise in heat. He knew what he wanted and when he wanted it; me, and now.

I slid in the middle seat of the car, making space for Duncan next to me. As soon as the car door shut close Duncan's mouth was all over mine again. Our lips danced together with passion and our tongues battled for control. He fondled both of my breasts, making me gasp and moan against his lips.

"Oh man", Duncan breathed as he broke our kiss, "I love that moan of yours." His mouth continued down my neck, biting at the fabric of my shirt. This morning a polo seemed like the best option, though right now the extra long neck on the shirt was only in the way.

I shivered under Duncan's touch as his hands made their way under my shirt, they wandered up and dragged the fabric along. Eventually he reached his goal and my shirt was bundled up around my collar bones, exposing my bra. Duncan wasted no time, his hands cupped both of my breasts and massaged them gently, letting a few fingers slip underneath the cups of my bra to get full access of them. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him close, making sure my mouth was near his ear so he would hear me loud and clear as I squirmed under his treatment.

"Why'd you have to wear pants?" Duncan mumbled as his hands switched places from my breasts to the buttons on my black capri pants. Before I had time to reply he yanked the tight fabric off my legs completely, taking me off guard at his aggressiveness. He took my underwear off in one swift movement before lifting me up from the seat. Duncan's mouth crashed against mine once more as he sat down on the seat in my place, making me straddle him in the process.

"Now you", I panted against his lips and started to fumble around with the zipper on his jeans. With joined help Duncan's pants zipped open, he scooted them down his thighs, leaving only the thin fabric of his boxers between our genitals. I heard Duncan moan against my mouth as I started rubbing my wet core against his imprisoned erection.

"God, woman", he growled and kissed me hard. I felt his hands press against my hips, holding tight against the already bruised skin; it hurt, yet I didn't want him to stop. I lifted myself up from his pulsating bulge and slid his boxers down enough to free his hard member. Without any hesitation I slid down onto it, making both of us gasp at the intense sensation. Duncan's hands gripped tighter around my hips as he helped me find a steady rhythm.

"Oh, yes", I panted as I bounced up and down on his erection. I kissed him hard and sloppily, the feeling of Duncan inside me was overwhelming and made my vision foggy, making it hard to not miss his lips.

"Whoa, easy there, princess", Duncan manage to chuckle even though he was out of breath. He wrapped his arms around my back and leaned my head down on his shoulder, taking control over the situation; and the lousy rhythm I was trying to keep up.

Duncan bounced me up and down in a steady pace, earning a loud moan from me each time he slammed me down. His manhood pulsated inside me and went deeper with each thrust until our pelvises met and my moans turned into muffled screams as I bit down on Duncan's neck and shoulder. One of his hands took a firm grip of my butt and massaged my left cheek, causing me to moan in surprise. I started kissing the skin on which I had bitten down, lightly dragging my tongue over the teeth marks I managed to create. Duncan moaned in pleasure and almost lost control over the now very fast rhythm we were enduring. He dug his nails into my back, they were not long enough to make the slightest damage but the pressure they created increased my pleasure. Within seconds I felt my orgasm building up and knew it was not a long wait.

"Oh, Duncan", I whispered out of breath and stuck my own hand between our bodies, making my way to my clit. I started making rough circles around the tiny, yet powerful, bundle of nerves. Soon the immense pleasure of a climax washed over my entire body, I clenched myself around Duncan's erection and nuzzled deeper into the crevice of his neck. Duncan came soon after, releasing himself inside of me while mumbling some incoherent mumbo- jumbo.

The windows of the car were entirely fogged up and I thanked any higher being that might've been listening that DJ hadn't forgotten anything in the car, giving me and Duncan time to collect ourselves from our steamy encounter.

* * *

"You go, I'll wait", I said and crossed my arms, leaning against the brick corner beside the door.

"What? Why?" Duncan asked in confusion, he looked me up and down to try and figure me out.

"No one can see us walk in together, it's suspicious", I answered matter-of-factly. The two of us had been gone for quite some time, and god knows what kind of excuse Duncan had for his disappearance.

"We are suspicious", he reminded me with a grin.

"Ugh", I sighed and stomped the ground in frustration, "either you wait out here or I do! And since I don't trust you enough to actually follow _instructions_ ", I emphasized as Duncan's eyes wandered away to follow a pigeon passing by us a few metres away, "I will stay outside."

"Babe, come on", he looked at me again and rubbed my upper arm with his warm hand. I was still leaning against the building and was able to spot our table a few windows down. Bridgette and Geoff were covered by the red bricks between the glass, but DJ was gesturing too big and talking too much to be sitting alone. His gaze was firmly glued on whoever sat in front of him and I decided against my better judgement, giving into Duncan's touch.

"I just want whatever this is", I raised my arm to gesture slightly between the two of us, "to stay on the down low for now. You're not really my type, and I'm not yours." I ended with a joke and hoped Duncan would think the same as I did. The only girls I'd ever seen him with were nothing like me; they were tall and thin, with long hair, often rich and wanting to get back at their parents for something.

I remembered one girl in particular, she was in the same year as us, though none of us had any classes with her, and she started showing interest in Duncan seemingly out of nowhere. After three weeks of watching them continuously make out - even Bridgette and Geoff started getting annoyed - and ride around on Duncan's motorcycle all through town, she broke things off. The next day she drove a blank, red convertible to school. It had turned out her parents - conservative and strict asians as they were - took her car away when she missed one too many cheerleading practices.

"For now?" Duncan questioned my choice of words and raised an eyebrow, squeezing my shoulder lightly.

"Now go, I'll be in in a few minutes", I cast a glance at the door beside him.

"I don't know, babe", he lingered and took a step closer, his hand dropped to mine and he started playing with my fingers. I sighed and turned my face away from his, keeping an eye on DJ, who was still talking intensely. "Maybe I'll spill everything if you're not there to keep me in line."

"And who would believe you?" I challenged, subconsciously pressing my chest to his.

"Geoff would", Duncan challenged right back, "and if I describe your house, so will Bridgette." His face had dipped down during this sentence and his voice had gotten low. "And we both know that DJ believes her every word, she never lies." Duncan's lips brushed against mine and I felt myself lean forward, ready for a kiss.

"If you as much as breathe a word about this to even your own reflection", I whispered dangerously against his mouth, his lips moving with mine as I spoke, "you won't get to touch me again anytime soon", I finished as my senses gathered, I leaned away from the delinquent with a satisfied smirk.

"Alright, alright", Duncan conceded and held both hands up in the air as one would do when defending one's innocence, "my lips are sealed." As he turned around and entered the diner I swore I heard him mutter 'sealed by your lips', but decided to let the comment go.

I stood outside, leaning against the rough bricks once more, for about three minutes before standing up straight and heading for the door. When I eventually reentered the small diner Geoff was gone from the back table we had occupied when we first got there. Bridgette and DJ was deep in conversation about - from what I could hear - animals. I knew Bridgette always wanted a pet, but her parents said it would be irresponsible since she was away from home most of the time. Duncan had reclaimed his seat at the short end of the table, though his chair was turned the right way now.

"Courtney!" DJ waved ecstatically causing Bridgette to turn her head fast in my direction. I walked over to the table with long steps and sat down next to the blonde. "You ever had a pet?"

"If you count the fish we have in my dad's office", I shrugged before pulling my plate of uneaten salad to my new seat. Dad always said workplaces needed aquariums, personally I got mafia feelings whenever I was in there; all those dark bookshelves covering every wall, floor to ceiling, and a big fishtank behind his antique writing desk, full of excotic fish that were probably complicated and expensive to import.

"I would even be happy with fish, you know?" Bridgette piped up in a sad tone and leaned her chin in her right palm.

"Knowing you, they would be electrocuted within a week", Duncan half-mumbled-half-chuckled from next to me while sipping on his coffee; I assumed the beverage had gone cold from the sour expression his face contorted into after swallowing the black liquid. Geoff came back to the table within a couple of moments and the remainder of our afternoon went by fast.

* * *

 **A/N: First mention of Heather in this AU, but certainly not the last...**


	10. The danger of afternoon delight

**A/N: the amount of people who asked me to update and not abandon this fic is incredible! My plan was never nor will it ever be to stop updating TDOT so don't worry my friends. ALSO more smut in this chapter (if the title wasn't obvious enough) ;)**

 **I** **do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

The following days went by without anything out-of-the-ordinary happening; except for the small - hopefully unnoticeable by others - gestures and innuendos Duncan threw my way. The nicknames had escalated from 'princess' and the occasional 'babe' to more sexual and intimate names, a part of me liked the new variety, but the majority of me wanted to throw my hand over his mouth every time he uttered them in fear anyone listening would figure us out. Whatever 'us' even was.

In the entirety of the week we had had all of two moments for ourselves; one right before PE started on Wednesday when he dragged me away in an empty hallway designated only to teachers, his tongue piercing had made it hard for me to keep quiet as he kissed me rough and dragged the cool metal along my neck, and Geoff told Duncan when we sneaked back he had heard moans coming from one of the back hallways. I burned two holes in the back of Duncan's head as the delinquent only shrugged and said he hadn't heard anything.

Our second encounter that week happened right before lunch on Friday. I read English with the one's in the year above us, making it the only class in which none of my friends attended, also making it the only class in which I could wholeheartedly ignore everything and indulge in the work in front of me. Duncan had waited for me by my locker and told me he would stay at the campsite that night, inviting me for some 'afternoon delight' as he so delicately decided to call it, before walking with me to my favorite tree where the rest of our friend-group already sat.

It was now four minutes to three, only nine more until the bell rang. Bridgette sat in the seat next to me and drew doodles along the marked edge of her lined paper. She was a free soul that often wrote with cute curves at the end of her letters and her notebook was equal parts text as it was sketches. I envied her in a way; being able to get out your thought and feelings in such a beautiful manner.

"Hey", Bridgette nudged me with her elbow and broke my concentration away from the black lead pencil tip swooping across the white paper. "What are you doing this weekend? I managed to talk Geoff into a pizza night tomorrow. Only the five of us, food and some beer." I looked up at the blonde and she met my gaze with a small, enthusiastic smile.

"I-I don't know", I shrugged and looked down at my own work. The lines were all filled with words, no sweet sketches nor curved letters, it was an almost precise copy of what had been written on the whiteboard at the front of the classroom

"It's not a party", she sighed yet laughed at my unwillingness, "come on. Otherwise I'll be alone with the guys."

"I thought you liked being the only girl", I snarled back with an uncharacteristic side smile, looking up at my friend once more. Bridgette looked taken aback for a second before she opened her mouth to retort back, only to be cut off before even speaking by Mrs. Jacqueline.

"That doesn't sound like french to me, girls", the middle aged woman said with a monotone voice, looking at the two of us over the clear brim of her glasses. Mrs. Jacqueline was well over forty, she looked ragged and worn out and you could easily spot the grey outgrowth she tried to cover with a bright red hair color. She was a woman that was way beyond tired of her job, most of the time she would play a movie that somewhat corresponded with whatever subject we were working on. Today was one of the few classes where she actually stood up from behind her desk and tried teaching us something for herself.

"Désolé, madame", both Bridgette and I answered quickly, apologising in unison. When the - barely - redheaded woman returned her gaze to the french book she had sprawled out on her desk, Bridgette leaned in close to me.

"It'll be fun", she insisted in a whisper and bumped my arm with hers again, "someone needs to be the voice of reason."

"Fine", I finally agreed and smiled. I knew Bridgette was right, mixing Duncan and Geoff with alcohol was never a good idea. DJ almost always went along with whatever plans the other two concocted and Bridgette is not exactly known for her persuasion skills.

"You need a ride tomorrow?" Bridgette asked as she stood near the desk waiting for me to gather my books. Almost the second the bell rang students poured out of the classroom into the hallway, leaving me and Bridgette alone - except for Mrs. Jacqueline.

"I don't know", I shrugged and put the last book down my bag, I swung it over my shoulder as I continued talking, "It's not that far a walk."

"It's almost 10 kilometres, Court", she eyed me with almost motherly concern before turning around and walking away from the desk with me shortly in tow.

"See you next week, Mrs. Jacqueline", I politely said goodbye to our teacher before catching up to Bridgette whom stood waiting for me in the doorway. "I know, I'll text you", I said to my friend and bumped my shoulder into hers playfully as we walked out the door.

* * *

As almost every Friday, Geoff stood waiting for Bridgette near our lockers - they were right next to each other - ready to drive her home. She skipped happily over to him and kissed his cheek before turning to her locker, starting to put back all her school supplies. I mimicked my blonde friend and opened my own locker, putting away the french books.

"You up, Court?" Geoff asked and tipped his cowboy hat in my direction as a greeting.

"Up?" I asked confused and raised an eyebrow.

"For tomorrow?" he asked, stretching out the words as if he himself was unsure of what he was talking about.

"Yeah", I answered simply before reaching into my locker again, this time taking out necessary study material for the weekend, "around what time?"

"I don't know. Four?" Geoff spoke in confusion again, looking to his girlfriend for confirmation.

"We'll see you at four", Bridgette nodded to her other half.

"Cool." Geoff lit up and straightened his posture; whenever he was confused or thinking his back slouched.

"Goodbye, Courtney", Bridgette waved as the two walked towards Geoff's car, leaving me standing alone next to the lockers. I reciprocated her wave with one of my own, the idea of calling out a goodbye instead crossed my mind but I decided against this fast as the two were still within my ken, as was I within theirs.

My bag was now filled with different books from various subjects, though I knew I was going to focus on biology since the test was in only a couple of days. I could hear Duncan's words in my mind as I eyed the pink and yellow study book. Studying isn't all books and text. I shook the memory away along with the strange feeling that had suddenly struck my gut.

The walk home was nothing out of the ordinary; I passed the same houses, had the same cars drive by me, heard the same birds and met the same dog that always jumped up the fence to beg for petting whenever someone walked by the yard.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I reached the gate to my house. Our fence was a little taller than myself, my dad could rest his chin on it, but if I stood up on my toes and reached for the edge I could peek over it. I don't know why the motion was executed, just as I don't know why I started walking back the same way I came when I saw the still empty driveway.

I passed the same houses, except in reverse order this time, and I still heard the birds that occupied the trees.

"I'm just going to check on him", I told myself once I reached the unfenced yard Duncan had cut across seven days prior. "Yeah, I'm going to check on him", I repeated to myself quietly and took the first step onto the grass.

It was rather difficult to navigate the woods without Duncan, I tried hard to remember the path he had taken but found myself frustrated since all the trees looked the same. No out-of-place bush, no weird bending tree trunk, no actual trail on the ground. I eventually felt the tingling sensation of smoke in my nose and followed the outdoorsy smell.

The campsite was not any fresher than last time and I could clearly see he Duncan favored one of the tents over the other. The zip to one of the camouflage green berths was opened and, what I assumed was, Duncan's duffel bag stuck out between the two flaps.

Duncan himself sat on the bench, carving some chunk of wood into god knows what. He hadn't seen me yet from where I was standing, maybe thirty or so metres from his right side. He sat slouched over with his elbows resting on his knees and legs spread wide, with his gaze solely focused on the edge of the blade.

I walked up to him, stopping just short of the bench, and hoped at least some of my figure would make it into his peripheral vision. The carving stopped and his head turned my way.

"Princess!" Duncan lit up and looked at me with a smile, his voice sounded both surprised and mocking. "What brings you to my humble abodes?" He got up from the bench and contemporaneously dropped both his pocketknife and the piece of wood he had previously held.

"Well I couldn't leave you out here all alone with good conscience", I answered and rolled my eyes.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off me", Duncan chuckled and took a step closer to me, our bodies almost touching.

"In your dreams", I huffed but dropped my bag beside the two of us on the ground.

"You know it, babe", he winked and boldly closed the space between us, his hands cupping the sides of my face. His lips were almost touching mine, our breaths mixing as he slowly looked between my lips and my eyes. I watched intently as he licked his lower lip before finally leaning into a kiss. It was soft and smooth, not like our previous kisses that were full of frustration, stress and a strange passion mixed together. This kiss felt warm and loving, like the fluffy, white blanket I wrap myself in when I feel sick, like some sort of comfort.

"Duncan", I began mumbling against his lips as he bit down gently on my lower lip. I wanted to explain myself, tell him why I was there; there was no need in creating unreal ideas in his head.

"No need to explain", Duncan mumbled back, his hands wandered from the sides of my face to the arch of my lower back, holding my sides gently.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into the kiss, deepening it. He separated my lips by opening his own, mine simply following his lead, before lightly licking over my lower lip. I hugged his neck tight and pushed my own tongue against his, they swirled around each other softly, not like the usual battle for dominance.

Duncan stroke my back with one hand, letting it wander from its previous resting place up to my hair. He tangled his fingers in my straightened cut and ruffled the strands around, making the half-hour long styling I did this morning come undone; though I didn't mind.

I moaned in content and pleasure as Duncan's mouth made it's way down my neck. The markings he had left on Monday had faded away, which meant I could wear tank tops and blouses again, leaving the sensitive area open for his lips to explore once more.

Duncan left a trail of small kisses down my throat before reaching the crook of my neck where he kissed my skin hard, making me gasp in satisfaction. The cold metal of his tongue piercing made me shiver with every touch and the passionate kisses he planted made my knees weak. My arms squeezed around his neck and my hands made their way to his gelled up mohawk, tangling themselves in his hair just like his had.

Duncan kissed my skin hard one last time, leaving a small purple mark, before pulling his lips away to look at me. I breathed heavily and leaned my forehead against his.

"Thank you", Duncan whispered softly, his one hand still caressing my hair while the other held me close.

"For what?" I asked confused and furrowed my brows. He rarely ever showed gratefulness, and when he did it was to Geoff in an unsentimental way for hooking him up with alcohol or other substances.

Duncan didn't answer my question, instead he pressed our lips together again in a hot, consuming kiss. I decided to start walking forward while our tongues found each other in another dance of theirs, causing Duncan to follow clumsily as he took his steps backwards, making our way over to the tent I assumed he had been favoring.

His tongue massaged mine and the odd yet enjoyable feeling of his piercing traveling around my mouth made me moan against his lips. We stumbled into the tent uncoordinatedly, making Duncan fall on his back all while ferociously stroking and gripping at the others body and clothes. My tongue brushed against his lower lip before traveling up his jawline to his ear. Duncan moaned as my mouth made its way over his skin.

"I want to make you feel good", I whispered seductively and sucked lightly on his earlobe, my tongue playing with the jewelry that hung from it.

"God", Duncan gasped and flung an arm over his eyes, his lips curled up in a smile. I smirked proudly to myself and kissed down his jawline, making a quick stop at his lips for a few heated kisses, before traveling down his neck and eventually settling at his collarbones. My lips wandered from his left to his right, up the shoulders, down to the beginning of his pecks and up to the crook of his neck. I nuzzled at the warm spot before sucking on the skin, creating a deep purple mark.

My hands stroked down Duncan's torso, their only goal was to get his t-shirt off. I continued kissing his neck and creating marks all over, even going so far as to bite down lightly on his skin. My hands found the edge of his t-shirt and started pushing it upward. Duncan helped me get the fabric off of him before he attacked my mouth with his own.

"You too", he murmured against my lips as he started unbuttoning my blouse. I let him undress my upper body, leaving my torso as exposed as his. His hands stroked down my back and pressed me closer to him; his skin was warm and I could feel the quickening beats of his heart against my chest.

We indulged in one last, heated kiss before I parted our lips to explore his body with my mouth. Duncan threw an arm over his eyes again and let out soft moans as I kissed and licked my way down his stomach to his defined v line. I dragged my fingers lightly across the indentations and he shivered under my touch, I could see the forming of goosebumps along both his arms and smirked to myself; never had I felt more powerful and more wanted. With swift fingers I unbuttoned the loose jeans covering his legs, kissing around the waistline as I dragged them down.

I massaged his erection without taking off his boxers but instead gaining help and friction from the gray fabric, the tip of his penis stuck out of the edge and greeted the cool air around us. Duncan bit his lip and started moving his hips with my rhythm, I knew he was getting inpatient from all the teasing but he had enough brains to not state his irritation.

I squeezed my hand harder around his shaft and moved it up and down slowly, his tip getting covered and uncovered by the fabric with each stroke. He half moaned half whispered out something incoherent and I laid myself beside him after the words came out his mouth, still satisfying him with one hand. Duncan uncovered his face and looked at me with foggy eyes before kissing my lips hard, slipping his tongue in not-so-sneakily; it felt cold against mine. The moans and grunts he expressed against my lips made my cheeks warm and if he wasn't so flustered himself he would've made fun of my complexion.

"Oh, babe", Duncan breathed into my mouth, something about the lust overfilling his voice and the softness in his speech made me eager for more; more control, more giving, more of Duncan. I opened my eyes and parted our mouths from their dancing and licking, instead moving my lips down the length of his neck, making a short and delicate stop at the soft crook of his neck, kissing the spot that I had noticed earned the loudest moans from him when taken cared of. I could feel Duncan's head relaxing backward onto the ground as I gently kissed his skin.

I loosened my grip on his shaft, stopping the up-and-down motion for the moment, and my lips moved swiftly down the length of his neck, down his chest, back to the defined v line, all while barely touching his skin. Duncan squirmed as my lips wandered over his pale complexion. I let my tongue glide over the indentations near his underwear before dragging my nails softly along the length of his chest. I looked up at the not-so-tough-now guy and smirked slightly to myself before slowly dragging the gray fabric off of him. He sucked a quick breath in between his teeth as the cool air replaced the warm fabric that had been caging in his erection.

I gave Duncan's face one last look from under my lashes before slowly licking the entirety of his shaft. I retook the slight grip I formerly had on his member as I continued licking the length of it up and down. My tongue danced over the veins and circled around the edge to his tip, all while my hand assumed its previous up-and-down rhythm.

"Fuck", Duncan hissed low as I planted my lips around his tip, sucking slightly while still exploring his member with my tongue. I started bobbing my head to the same rhythm as my hand moved. Duncan's noises grew from low hisses and groans to full out moans as I picked up the speed of the treatment I was performing. I tried to fit as much of him as I could into my mouth while at the same time not risking any unfortunate reactions on my part. A hand started searching around in my hair, gripping lightly at random parts, I met his hand with my own and immediately our fingers locked around each others. With my other hand I picked up the pace, earning more moans from Duncan, and trying hard to make my mouth keep up the same speed; not wanting to accidentally hit myself in the face.

Duncan gripped my hand tighter, and moaned more and louder, as his back curled up. Knowing he was close to release I sped up the motion of my mouth and hand, not caring about the drool that escaped the corners of my mouth.

"Oh, Courtney", Duncan breathed and squeezed my hand harder, almost hurting my fingers as they were pressed closely together. The salty taste of sweet release was shot down the back of my throat and I centered my attention to the tip of his member, sucking and licking on it until he writhed in pleasure underneath me.

"Okay-okay", Duncan chuckled exhausted and released the hard grip of my hand, instead lifting my head up from his member, forcing me to let go of his length with a sudden pop. Our eyes met and I wiped any excess off of my mouth.

"Babe", he started with a fascinated tone and waved me up to his side, "did you just swallow?"

"Well… yeah", I shrugged and crawled up to eye-level, "are you not supposed to?" I asked and furrowed my brows in confusion. Duncan chuckled once again and snaked an arm under my neck, making my head rest comfortably near his chest.

"You can do whatever you want, darling."


	11. The danger of confessions over breakfast

**A/N: Please excuse the shortness of this chapter, it's really just a filler so... yeah. Enjoy.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

As the sun rose and found its way into the still open tent I found myself clenching my eyelids shut as hard I could bare. After our moment the night before I had slipped out of my jeans and quickly snagged Duncan's shirt from the tent's plastic floor. He had chuckled at me as I pulled the big, black shirt over my head and smoothed the skull-print down over my torso; leaving me only in the oversized, wrinkled t-shirt and my underwear. I had made a disgusted face toward the motif but was soon back with my head on his chest.

Duncan laid next to me with one arm under his own head and his legs spread all over the place, we had drifted apart during the night due to the lack of actual mattress, leaving both of us free to spread out if wanted.

The warm rays of the sun heated my skin and was a nice change to the cool breezes of air that had sneaked their way into the tent during the night. Even as I kept my eyelids shut the rising light crept through, making it harder for me to enjoy the nature and its sounds and scent that surrounded our home for the night. I sighed tiredly in defeat and sat up in the tent, looking around me for a few seconds before crawling out of the opening into the sun and the rest of the camp. I could feel my skin soaking up the vitamin D and this time my sigh was full of nothing but relief.

Duncan moved around inside the tent and mumbled some gibberish before falling quiet and still once again. His pants laid near the opening and I snatched them with me as I walked over to the fire pit. The pockets were ridiculous! Not only were they so deep I could fit my whole hand in them, but they were so many! After a thorough search in each and every crevice his pants could possibly hide, I was now a lighter richer. The least he could do was be useful and secondarily provide some fire to this campsite.

"I see you made yourself comfortable", Duncan snickered and exited the tent half an hour after I had. He was in only his boxers and his green hair slumped over to one side in a scruffy and untamed way. I sat on the bench opposite of the tent, with both my feet tucked close to me. My arms rested comfortably on my knees as I played around with my phone; when I woke up I had texted my dad I had stayed at Bridgette's last night, not knowing whether he would be home to worry about me or not.

"Yeah, well", I shrugged as I took in his stance; he looked happy and well rested, and for once like he did not have some mischievous tricks up his sleeve. He stretched his arms out above his head and the warming sun glistened against his pale skin, just like it had Saturday morning. I shook my head to myself so as I wouldn't start staring at his toned physique yet again. "Put some clothes on."  
"Why?" Duncan asked and smirked at me, "Am I distracting you?" He grinned and switched the actually quite sensual stretching to a much more silly looking flexing.

"Not at all", I snorted with laughter. Duncan's confident stature crumbled as he glared at me with his mouth open.

"Oh, shut up", he threw back at me and crossed his arms before plopping down cross-legged on the ground next to the fire. He sulked for a while with pouting lips, not moving his eyes from the warm flickers of red and orange in front of him.

"Do you have any food?" I asked and untucked my feet, swinging my legs over the edge of the bench, leaning forward as I wrapped my fingers around the edge near my thighs.

"A couple of kilometres that way", Duncan answered sarcastically, looking up at me while pointing the way I had taken to the campsite yesterday, "or we could go hunting if you'd prefer that." He snickered and nudged his head the other way, his former and annoyed demeanor long gone.

"Yeah", I nodded, "no way," I continued and changed the soft nodding of my head to a much harsher sideways shaking. Duncan only shrugged in response and started poking in the fire with a nearby stick.

* * *

"Cheeseburger with fries and a coke", the waiter smiled as she came up to our table, Duncan nodded and raised a finger, "and waffles for you." She put the plate down in front of me and smiled once again before hurrying away from our table.

"That's your breakfast?" I raised an eyebrow and eyed the plate the waiter had set down in front of Duncan.

"I'm sorry", he answered and caught my eyes, "would you rather I eat something else?" he continued in a low, raspy voice, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"You're vile", I spat out and glared at him. Duncan chuckled before taking an unnecessarily big bite out of the hamburger, making grease run down the corners of his mouth. "Point proven", I said with a distorted look of disgust across my face.

"You know you love it", he smirked before gulping down the food with his beverage.

"As if", I scoffed back before carefully cutting a piece of my own food.

A thick tension grew between us as we ate our meals in silence; the only sound around being the limited chatter between the waiters and the few customers in the diner. There was a big, friendly looking guy sat at the counter, he was chowing down on a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon while smiling wider than anyone I've ever seen before. At the far end of the diner, sat with her back almost pressed to the corner and her arms crossed, was a tall dark-haired figure who stared at her food more than she ate off it. Two tables down from us sat a couple enjoying the sunshine, sharing a drink with two straws. Duncan looked over his shoulder as to follow my gaze to the people behind him.

"So", he started and turned back to me, shifting my focus away from the other table to him. He took a big gulp of the soda before continuing. "You like me", he stated and leaned back in his seat, I opened my mouth to protest but he held up a finger for me to wait, "and it's, I guess, kind of mutual", he shrugged and tried to wave off his own feelings, "and I've been thinking."  
"That's a first", I huffed and leaned back in my own seat, crossing my arms as I did.

"I, you know", he scratched the back of his head before falling silent.

"Yes?" I raised an eyebrow and watched him intently. Duncan chewed the inside of his lower lip and kept running his hands through his hair, over the sides of his face and rubbing the back of his neck. All in all, he seemed nervous, an uncharacteristic notion to the confident Duncan I had known for years.

"Just wanted you to know", he finally managed to get out, without even an ounce of nervosity slipping through in his tone, "I'm not seeing anyone."

"Okay?" I shook my head in confusion. I told myself that whatever we had going on was only casual, yet the butterflies that had previously inhabited my stomach last time we sat in this diner came back for a reunion. My insides warmed at his words and the confirmation they meant; I was not another one of his scores, not an emotionless hook-up only to brag about.

Duncan shrugged before taking another sip of his soda, cautiously keeping his gaze away from me.

"I guess", I said and broke the excruciating tension that had built up over the silent minutes we'd spent to finish our meals, "I appreciate that." My eyes flickered between his face and the solid wood of the table between us, not allowing my eyes to stay still in a surprising feeling of anxiousness.

"Cool", Duncan answered and I dared myself, challenged myself, to look up and catch his gaze; he was smiling a crooked smile while slightly and slowly nodding his head.

"Cool", I repeated and smiled back at him.

"So, what's the time?" he asked and slapped his hands together, grinning widely in anticipation for the evening.

"Barely over noon", I answered after glancing on the big, loudly ticking clock hanging on the wall behind the counter. "I should probably head home, take a shower and freshen up."  
"Yes please." Duncan put his arms down on the table and leaned towards me, looking at my face through his eyelashes; his unfairly voluminous and dark eyelashes any girl would kill for.

"Yeah, uh, you're not coming with me", I shook my head and pointed tiredly at him, he should know my house would be a risk I was not willing to take.

"I know", he looked back at me with a serious expression before cracking a sneaky smirk, "I usually come after you."

"Does your brain only have one lane?" I scoffed and narrowed my eyes at him.

"Actually", Duncan started and raised a finger, "my brain, like any other, both receives and sends away signals to and from the rest of my body, such as the sensation of pain or the voluntary movement of one's legs." A proud grin took its place on his face as I looked at him with shock written all over my own. "Soak it in, baby, you're boy got looks _and_ smarts."

I let out a hard breath and rolled my eyes before standing up from the table, leaving Duncan to do with the time what he wanted. He called out a satisfied "see you later" after me to which I waved my hand goodbye without turning around.

As the warm water hit my skin soothingly, creating steam rising in the air around me in the process, I couldn't help but smile. Whatever Duncan and I had going on involved some sort of mutual feelings and understandings; he had more or less told me his desire for exclusiveness during breakfast and it made my stomach fill with the now familiar flutter of butterflies. Though it was a nice feeling, it was also odd and unusual.

I had known Duncan for ten years, we'd grown up together, played tag together as kids, pushed each other in puddles of mud when we lost. He was there to tease me about my hair on our first day of school and picked open my locker when the combination didn't work on our first day of high school. Somehow Duncan's present had always been a constant in my life, it had only morphed and changed as we'd grew; from playmates when we were 7, to bickering lab partners in junior high, to somewhat semi-friends sharing the same friend group, to something more. Whatever 'more' meant.


	12. TDO kisses, fights & the family couch

**A/N: Finally updating, this chapter kicked my ass every time I tried to sit down and finish it. In the end it didn't turn out _at all_ like what I had planned, these characters really write themselves and they simply refused to do anything else but kiss and fight. Hope you like it anyway.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

The open closet stared at me, its clothes hanging in straight lines and folded in neat piles on the shelves waiting for me to make a decision. I was still wrapped in a towel from the previous shower, small droplets of water running down my legs, down to the floor.

My closet wasn't that big, yet it took up most of the wall opposite my bed. Furthest to the right hung the few dresses I owned. I rarely indulged in shopping, enjoying the simplicity and comfort in jeans and pants, but those had no place in the fancy business meetings and fundraisers that dad dragged us to. With a sigh I shook my head and let my eyes wander left; a 'beer and pizza' night was no such fancy occasion in which a dress was necessary.

My gaze stopped in its track as a shade of dark blue caught my eye. Before me hung a newly washed, newly ironed blouse. The same blouse I had worn last friday, the blouse I had on that somehow had ended up on the floor by my bed with Duncan's clothes to keep it company - like he had kept me company last weekend.

Without a second thought I snatched the hanger from its place among the other casual blouses I owned and hung it across the back of my chair to properly eye the garment. It would go great with black pants, or shorts; I knew Duncan would prefer the latter, it was less fabric, more accessible. I wondered what he would think if I showed up in it tonight, if he would even recognize it. The thought crossed my mind before I was able to stop it. It didn't matter how he would or would not react.

"Screw Duncan!" I exclaimed loudly to myself and stomped my foot in anger for letting him influence my choices. In defiance I grabbed a moss green tank-top from the top of one of the piles and paired it with a soft, black cardigan.

I dropped the white towel I had draped around my body and stepped on it as it fell around my feet, in an attempt to dry up the growing gathering of water on the floor. The soft fabric of the top felt like a caress along my skin as I slipped it on. My eyes fluttered close on their own accord and my mind drifted off to the lazily way Duncan would paint patterns on my skin with his fingers absentmindedly while in bed.

A loud slam caused by the front door interrupted my thoughts and I quickly dragged a pair of light washed jeans over my legs; they matched perfectly with the dark fabrics covering my torso. I snagged the cardigan from its resting place upon my desk and put it on as I bounced down the stair.

"Daddy", I smiled and prepared myself for the short hug he always felt the need to give me after not seeing each other for more than a day.

"Kinky", Duncan grinned at me and snickered as the joy that had been on my face fell into an unamused scowl. He was wearing different clothes than that morning, an ironed, black t-shirt with the words _'I don't need sex, the government fucks me everyday'_ in a white print trying to resemble graffiti and a pair of newly washed, loose jeans, held up by a leather belt with a big, metallic buckle in the front. I crossed my arms as the uninvited boy I'd never admit to kind of like kicked off his shoes and walked up to where I stood by the base of the stair.

"What are you doing here? I just saw you like two hours ago and will again in another two hours." I was annoyed at his presence, which he didn't seem to care about. First he sneaked his way into my mind, my decisions, and now he invited himself into my home with no regard of who might've been here to see.

"Couldn't let you walk all the way to Geoff's", he answered, that damned grin never leaving his face. I could feel the anger seep out of me as his eyes locked gaze with mine.

"I was going to text Bridgette to pick me up on the way", I countered, straightening my posture and standing my ground, glaring back at the oceanic calm that was his eyes. He had no right being here, invading my personal space and boring into my head with those stupid and beautiful eyes.

"Oh, come on, we both know she's already over there and picking you up would be a detour she'd be annoyed to make. You don't wanna be annoying, do ya?" Duncan lowered his voice as the question slipped his lips, his calm, hot breath hitting my throat as he bowed his head down to lay a soft kiss on my jawline.

"She wouldn't mind." I succeeded in keeping the shiver out of my voice as he laid another kiss on my skin, though the hairs on my arms betrayed me by standing up at the treatment.

"Figured why risk it?" Duncan asked and came up to meet my eyes again, a sideways smirk now on his face. "Anyway, I'm here now and it would be unnecessary to ask her when I have a perfectly good bike and an extra helmet." He shrugged before gesturing at the closed door, insinuating the driveway on which his motorcycle was probably parked.

"Where'd you get an extra from?" I bit back the smile that wanted to creep onto my face. The fact that he apparently liked the thought of driving around with me tagging along enough to take the precautions necessary if it were to happen again, made it hard to keep a straight face; he may not let it on, but he was a caring and sweet guy.

"Went back home", Duncan shrugged, "called ma and made sure pops was at the station."

"Well good", I began and let the smile I'd been holding back burst through, "I don't want you risking injury because you're too sweet not to give the helmet to me." My expression was silently challenging him and my tone jokingly mocking, waiting for him to start talking back and resume his usual I-don't-care-about-anyone-but-myself image.

"Please", Duncan answered with a huff before lifting my chin up with his index finger to meet his gaze, "you'd just kick me again if I didn't let you have it", he continued with a smirk.

I shrugged in response, knowing that would've probably happened, as Duncan lowered his hand and walked backwards toward the livingroom.

"You coming?" he raised an eyebrow before turning around and disappearing around the corner. When I entered the room he laid spread on the couch as he had last Saturday. "I like the shirt by the way", he started as I rounded the furniture, taking a seat on the floor near his head, leaning against the couch, "green suits you."

"Whatever", I answered and rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the warm feeling his compliment emitted in my chest.

I could hear Duncan shift on the couch behind me, he reached out for my hair and stroked it gently. I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes, loving the comforting touches.

"You know", I began with a smile, "you're a real softie."

"Hey", he snapped and sat up in an instant, letting go of my hair like it was disease ridden, "I'm not soft, okay?"

"Oh", I pouted and looked at his stern face with amusement, "did I hurt your fragile feelings now?"

"Would you shut up?" Duncan roared and looked back at me.

"Wow, okay." I was stunned, speechless almost, at how quickly Duncan's mood had turned. I lifted myself up on the couch next to Duncan and eyed him curiously. Something about being called soft rubbed him the wrong way, even though he had shown his gentle characteristics with me without any apparent problems, acknowledging it with words seemed to only make him angry.

The silence surrounding us was tense, loaded with unspoken words of apologies and explanations. Duncan was the first to break it.

"I just", he started and cracked his knuckles, the sound too loud in the too quiet room, "you can be so irritating." The words sounded harsh, not only their meaning but like they were spoken through clenched teeth.

I furrowed my brows and let out an insulted gasp, he was the irritating one, inviting himself into my house and mind.

"I am not!" I countered and glared at him.

"Of course you are", he threw back, meeting my glare with one of his own.

"And how is that?" I asked and pushed myself up from the couch, Duncan mimicked my movements soon after.

"You're pestering me about soft-this and soft-that." I squinted my eyes at his argument and shook my head in disagreement, pestering was an overstatement I just would not stand for.

"Well for a tough guy with what he says are not fragile feelings you seem to be pretty darn fragile", I said and took a step closer, continuing the glare from before as I lifted my head to keep the eye contact. We were close enough for our chests to touch and his scent danced its way into my senses, making the angry stance hard to hold. I saw the glimpt of flashing emotions in his eyes and before I knew it his lips were on mine.

Duncan cupped my face with both of his hands and pressed himself closer to me. The odd sensation of his metal beltbuckle scraping against my stomach through the fabric of my shirt didn't bother me, it was a new feeling, an almost hurtful feeling, that only added to the intensity of the situation. Without any resistance or complaints I was able to sneak my tongue in his mouth where it was gladly greeted by Duncan's own.

I dragged my hands slowly but firmly over his covered back, letting his shirt lift as I did, but determinedly ignored to stroke the skin that got revealed. Duncan growled lowly against my lips in frustration before he suddenly whipped my head back by my hair. The hard and sudden motion hurt but before I could utter my complaint his mouth was on my now exposed neck, kissing, licking and biting what felt like every centimetre of my skin. My words got caught in my throat as the sensation of his lips on my body curled my toes and warmed the resting place in between my legs.

I moaned as Duncan continued to kiss and bite the sensitive spots along my neck and collarbone, my hands making their way to the front of his shirt, dragging him along with me as I let myself fall onto the couch. Duncan released his tight grip of my hair and instead let his hands roam the rest of my body, mimicking the firm strokes and squeezes I had done on his back. My top scrunched underneath his hands, my skin getting caught and squeezed in his grip as he didn't seem to let pain be a factor, being guided by the anger he had felt mere moments ago.

I whimpered under the fierce actions Duncan was executing on my body, both his lips and hands flew over my skin, leaving hot trails of desire as they went. If we didn't stop now the situation would only escalate further and further, leading to an intimacy I was not ready to express on the family couch.

"Hold on", I managed to get out in between moans and heavy breaths. I rested my hands on Duncan's chest and pushed him up with little force.

"What?" The anger from before was still resident in his tone, mixed with lust and excitement.

"Not today, not here", I said and shook my head. Duncan let out a deep breath, puffing out his cheeks in an effort to cool himself down before lifting himself off of me completely. He nodded to himself and clasped his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees. I awkwardly scrambled myself together, leaning against the armrest and hugging my knees with my arms. I watched him silently as he kept on switching between fumbling with his hands and exhaling audibly.

"So?" Duncan asked after a while, breaking the silence by dragging out the single word for longer than necessary. "Not today."

I nodded as he looked to me for confirmation. "Not today."

"Well damn", he chuckled and stood up, showing me the lopsided smirk I was so used to seeing. The traces of anger or any other powerful emotion that might have been going through him before was now gone.

"You want a soda?" I asked and swung my legs down to the floor, leaning forward as I rested my palms on the couch and looked up at him.

"Sure thing", Duncan answered with a smile and held out his hand in an offer to help me up from the couch.


	13. The danger of pizza, drugs & Inception

**A/N: I was actually going to write and release this chapter next week, but thanks to my wonderful reviewers I have I decided to kick myself in the butt and get it done today!** **This chapter involves drug use, so if that is not for you just skip the latter half of this chapter.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

I locked the gate carefully behind me before turning to Duncan who was already seated on his motorcycle. It was parked on the other side of the street, stood on the grass that indicated the end of the road and the beginning of the ditch that run alongside it. One helmet hung off one of the handlebars, tilting it, the other held by Duncan, he was carefully bouncing it between both of his hands.

I crossed the thin road and caught the helmet in the air as he threw it my way. "Safety first", he grinned before reaching for the his own helmet.

"Would be safer if you didn't throw it at me", I mumbled in annoyance as I got on the vehicle behind him. Duncan chuckled as he slid the helmet over his head and kicked back the stand. I followed suit and locked my arms around his body, pressing myself close enough to feel his warmth.

The drive to Geoff's house took seven minutes, five less than normal since Duncan had apparently decided a long time ago that speed limits don't apply to him. I had protested with whatever force I could without endangering both of us; squeezing him too tight for comfort and yelling.

"You're a danger to traffic, you know that right?" I asked and raised my eyebrows, watching him take off his helmet, as I had already done, and place it back on the handlebar.

"I can't be that bad", Duncan answered and patted his jean pocket, "got a license, babe." I huffed out a breath of air and avoided his gaze as I felt a smile creep onto my lips.

"Hi guys", a deep voice said, efficiently stopping our conversation short. I looked over to where the voice came from and I froze in place as my eyes were met by the sight of a confused DJ standing near the front door.

"DJ", Duncan said excitedly and walked up to the big guy to give him a high five that transitioned into a short handshake.

"Hey, DJ", I said and shook off my initial shock, trying not to sound suspicious. For all he knew Duncan was only giving me a ride, nothing more nothing less.

"You two came together?" DJ asked and pointed between the two of us, raising an eyebrow at the unfamiliar and - to his knowledge - barely fathomable scenario.

"Well", I started but was quickly interrupted by Duncan.

"Yup", he said with a big grin. The confused look on DJ's face grew deeper, furrowing his brows and wrinkling his nose.

"Well only because Bridgette didn't answer my texts", I rambled out faster than normal, continuing to try and not to give away mine and Duncan's new found and still vulnerable connection. The statement seemed to be enough of an answer for DJ, his face smoothened and a smile took the former frowns place.

"Good to see you're getting along", he said and patted the back of my shoulder before turning toward the door again. He had to ring the doorbell twice before it opened. Geoff greeted us with a bare chest and his hat thrown haphazardly onto his head. The three of us stepped inside and Duncan's grin grew wider. Bridgette was walking down the stairs around the corner, wearing Geoff's shirt unevenly buttoned over her chest and a pair of jean shorts.

"Oh god", I exclaimed in a mix of shock and disturbance as I realised what we had interrupted, and looked away from Bridgette. She started combing through her hair, trying to calm the frizz down, as her cheeks stained pink in embarrassment.

"That explains why she ain't answering your texts", DJ chuckled, but was visibly uncomfortable by the scene we had walked into.

"Nice, dude", Duncan grinned and fist bumped his friend.

"Wait, what texts?" Bridgette asked as she walked up to the rest of us, having put her hair up in the usual ponytail she wore. Her blush had lessened and the simple hairdo calmed the frizziness of her hair down, though the buttons on the shirt were still buttoned in disorder, leaving patches of her stomach visible and making the uncomfortable situation near impossible to sweep under the rug.

"Don't worry about it", I smiled in reassurance and waved a hand dismissively. Maybe lying to DJ had been a bad move, him telling Bridgette about the nonexistent texts was something I had not predicted, but hopefully she would leave it behind as we all tried to leave the situation as fast as possible.

Bridgette cleared her throat, drawing everyone's attention to her. "Why don't you go down to the basement and pick a movie, I'll order the pizza and join you after." I knew what she really wanted to do was clean herself up, maybe brush her hair before redoing her ponytail or maybe splash some water on her face, but most definitely change into her own shirt.

And that was exactly what she had done once she joined the rest of us in the basement. She came bouncing down the stairs in a hoodie of her own and threw the shirt back to Geoff. He was sitting in an armchair, halfway facing the couch on which Duncan, DJ and I sat. In between the couch and the armchair stood a small coffee table, and diagonally aligned with it stood an old pooltable; though it was occupied by a tv instead of cues and balls.

I knew that the basement used to be big when we were kids, but over the years bedrooms and bathrooms had been moved around as the family expanded. All that was left now was a decent sized lounging area; the rest had been turned into a laundry room, big enough to wash and dry all the clothes of the eight residents.

"Pizza's on the way", Bridgette smiled and sat down in Geoff's lap, "have you guys picked a movie yet?" The couple's position was an intimate one; it looked warm and soft, perfect for gentle touches and one-armed hugs. If it had only been the two of us, or maybe if our friends knew, I would've replicated the comfortably looking position with Duncan. I would've snuggled into his side and let him drape his arm around me, intertwine our fingers as I leaned against his chest. I'd ask him to tell me about himself, more than the question's he had answered during our stupid game, more than an allergy and more than meaningless hookups.

While the thoughts about everything I wanted to ask Duncan spun around in my head and distracting me, DJ had already started the movie of our choice and was talking lightheartedly to Bridgette about the ambiguous ending. Getting both Duncan and Geoff to complain about spoilers. Soon enough the pizza was delivered and paid for and DJ passed around napkins in concern for everyone's clothes and the furniture.

Halfway through the reality-bending-mind-boggling movie the pizza had been delivered and eaten. Soon enough Geoff spoke up in excitement. "I know what can make this movie even better." He patted Bridgette's upper thigh as a signal for her to move before he got up from the armchair. He rounded the pooltable fast and rummaged through some boxes on the other side. Each box was labeled differently, indicating they were used to storage old or seasonal stuff; christmas decorations, cutlery, baby clothes, all of the brothers even had a box of their own.

As the spinnin trinket on the tv screen fell over Geoff came back from behind the pooltable with a wrinkled paper bag.

"Yes", Duncan cheered as the two of them high fived. I looked over at Bridgette for confirmation of my suspicions, and as I had thought she rolled her eyes and let out a sigh.

"To this movie? You're going to get a headache", she said and shook her head, but despite the earlier contempt she had shown a smile now tugged at her lips. Geoff shrugged in response and dragged the footstool accompanying the armchair toward the small table and emptied the contents of the bag onto it.

Duncan scooted forward on the couch, leaning toward the table with his elbows resting on his knees, watching with a grin as Geoff spread out the green substance on the rolling paper. I shuffled closer to Duncan, putting one knee up on the dark gray fabric as I turned my body to face him.

"You're not actually going to smoke that, are you?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Duncan asked and turned his attention from Geoff's fast working hands.

"What if his brothers smell it? Or worse, comes down here." I knew the two of them smoked, Geoff more than Duncan, and I knew they had never been caught, I knew Bridgette sometimes indulged too and that when she didn't she made sure the others at least stayed safe. It wasn't that big of a deal really; but it messed with your brain, and Duncan was already on the verge of spilling our shared secret.

"Oh would you relax? Nothing's gonna happen, babe. Unless your royal highness is a tattle tale, that is", Duncan chuckled and bumped my shoulder with his.  
"Courtney may be right", DJ piped up for the first time since Geoff had taken out the bag.  
"Thank you", I said and threw an open hand in his direction and looked gratefully at him, "at least someone is using their brains", I snapped back at Duncan and narrowed my eyes.  
"Court?" Bridgette's soft voice spoke, she was leaning over Geoff's shoulder, her arms hanging over them and gently hugging his chest from behind. "Nothing's going to happen, the three of us can keep them in check", she gestured between herself, DJ and I as she spoke. I looked at her in confusion, only to be met by a reassuring smile.  
"Fine", I rolled my eyes and threw my leg down from the couch, sinking lower in the process.

Three soon turned into two as Geoff offered Bridgette a joint in the midst of his own high. The two of them shared smoking kisses in the armchair as the end credits of the movie started rolling on the screen. Bridgette smoothly shifted from Geoff's lips to the rolled-up paper, taking it in between her lips and dragging, filling her lungs and mouth with smoke which she exhaled onto the face of her partner before bursting out in a laughing fit.

DJ had moved to sit on the footstool as Duncan had spread out to take over almost the entire couch, pushing me to the opposite armrest as he laid down comfortably, resting his head on two stacked pillows. He had a joint by himself and took long drags out of it, shaping the smoke he exhaled into delicate rings towards the ceiling, unlike Geoff and Bridgette who didn't seem to care about how it looked or where their smoke ended up. If I hadn't known better I would've found the tricks enchanting.

"Oh", Bridgette exclaimed and jumped off her Geoff's lap, "we need music." She strutted happily to the boxes and dug around for a little while before retrieving a decent sized speaker.

"What we need is freedom, man", Duncan chimed back and threw his arms out haphazardly.

"Look around. This _is_ freedom, man", Geoff chuckled and took another drag of his joint.

"Man", Duncan started and sat up from his lying position to face Geoff, "we don't have freedom, man. We're all trapped in this stupid town because our stupid parents has stupid authority over us."

I was relieved at his movement as I was no longer crammed in the corner, I moved from the armrest and rolled my shoulders in an attempt to stretch them out.

"My mama ain't stupid", DJ said and jumped in the conversation. A small smile crept its way onto my face as the three guys only got more and more into the conversation.

I turned my head toward the pooltable and saw Bridgette crawling around on the floor under it. "Do you need any help?" I asked and raised and eyebrow.

"I can't find the stupid power outlet", she answered and looked at me over her shoulder, her face scrunching up in a frown.

"It's on the other side", I smiled and pointed to where the tv's cable was plugged in. Bridgette was smart and sweet and really caring, but high Bridgette was adorably naive and almost like a little kid. Well when she wasn't sucking Geoff's face that was.

"Thanks", she smiled at me once she returned from the floor and sat beside me on the couch. Music was now flowing through the room, some generic radio station with absurd songs, but it was better than nothing. "I'm tired", she pouted and leaned her head on my shoulder.

I shook my head and smoothed down her frizzy hair. "Go to sleep then." Bridgette didn't answer me, she stayed leaning against me until I could hear her breathing change and I knew she was asleep. I gently leaned her the other way, letting her head rest on the armrest instead off my shoulder.

"Hey guys", I said and stood up from the couch, "I'm going to go home now. And don't disturb Bridgette, she's asleep."

"How are you going to get home, man?" Duncan asked and furrowed his eyebrows. "You came here with me, man, and it's too far to walk."

"She came here with you?" Geoff asked in surprise and pointed to Duncan, his eyes were wide with confusion.

"I know, it's weird", DJ whispered before looking up at me, "I can drive you home." He was the only one with a vehicle that wasn't either intoxicated or asleep, and I knew his offer was one of nothing but kindness.

"You need to take care of these two", I shook my head, "make sure they don't get into any trouble."

"Oh we can get _him_ into trouble", Duncan smirked.

"I'm just gonna call a cab", I said, ignoring Duncan's proposition; or threat maybe.

"Get home safe, babe", Duncan called after me as I climbed the stairs up from the basement. It may have been the drugs talking, but his concern stirred something inside me. Something warm, something bubbly. Something I was completely terrified by yet something that made me smile wide.


	14. TDO good luck wishes & tricky questions

**A/N: I had no idea where this chapter was going as I wrote it, so sorry if it seems a bit all over the place. I'm thinking about revealing some of Duncan's past in the next chapter(s), what do y'all think? (like why his dad kicked him out and why he reacted the way he did to the the words 'soft')**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

The Sunday after was uneventful. My dad was back home, though he spent the majority of the day in his study with the door shut.

He had been eating dinner when I got back from Geoff's, sitting alone in the dining room with a newspaper spread out on the table. We had exchanged pleasantries and he offered me some left overs that he'd put in the fridge. He didn't really cook, other than grilling meat during summer cookouts, it was always mom or me and I imagined the simple pasta dish he had on his plate had taken a great effort on his part to make.

I soaked in the tub that evening, long into the late hours of the night, letting my thoughts wander as they wished. I had wrapped myself in my blue robe and fallen asleep to memories of the last time I'd worn it.

Sunday came and went without any social interaction. I supposed Bridgette was nursing whatever hangover you got from the substance and that Duncan had crashed at Geoff's and was probably doing the same as Bridgette. DJ had sent a single text reassuring me no shenanigans went down after I left and I had responded with a smile.

Soon enough the alarm clock by my bed went off and reminded me it was monday. I dragged myself out of bed and ate breakfast at the kitchen island, much to my dad's dismay. He was soon out of the door and I said goodbye with a smile and a kiss on his cheek.

The school parking lot was all but empty when I arrived, I liked being early and at times engaged the janitor in conversation. The job wasn't a fancy one, but one that needed to be done and he at times let me in the library before the librarian so I could get out of the cold and study during the colder months.

Today was not one of those days though. I walked fast over the quad as to not get my shoes wet by the morning dew that still clung to the grass. My locker felt empty before I stuffed the books from my bag into it. I hadn't brought many books home with me during the weekend, yet they filled the empty spaces on the shelves and more.

I fiddled with my phone as I waited outside the math classroom. The bell wouldn't ring until another fifteen minutes and the corridors had started to fill with students and teachers, their chatter rising in volume steadily as the minutes ticked away.

"Hey, Court", a voice that stood out from the crowd said. I looked up to see Bridgette and Geoff standing before me, his arm around her shoulder.

"Hi you guys", I smiled back and tucked my phone away in my bag.

"I heard you took a cab home", Bridgette said, "you could have spent the night you know." She smiled sweetly at me before looking up at Geoff with determination in her eyes. "No one would've minded."

"I, erm, didn't want to disturb your privacy once again", I chuckled in response and gestured lazily at the couple. Knowing the two of them would've probably spent the sunday clung to each other and forget others were around.

Bridgette's cheeks immediately reddened at the mention of what we had interrupted two days ago, though Geoff didn't seem to be bothered by it. He merely shrugged at the explanation before squeezing Bridgette's shoulder with one hand.

"Well, I'm off to history. See you guys later." He exited the conversation with a small nod at me and a kiss on the cheek to Bridgette. "Love you."  
"Love you too", she smiled and waved as he walked away.

"So, uh", I said and caught her attention again, breaking the heart eyes she was throwing at Geoff, "did Duncan stay through Sunday?" I hoped he had, sleeping in a real bed - or even a couch - was much better than the hardness of the ground at the campsite. I had only stayed one night and my back had been killing me the morning after.

"Why?" Bridgette asked and cocked her head to the side.

"I-uh", I swallowed hard and choose my words carefully, if his living situation was something limited to only his closest friends I was not about to spill the secret to anyone, "I just thought that, uh, he wouldn't and shouldn't drive until he'd sobered up enough."

"Oh", she nodded and my mind twisted at the surprised look on her face. She had expected something else. Maybe she knew about his father? After all her and Geoff kept nothing from each other, if you told one of them a secret the other was bound to find out; they were a package deal. "Yeah, he stayed", she continued after she'd shaken off her surprise, "left early this morning."

I forced down a sigh of relief for his well-being, I was happy to hear he had not been too stubborn or proud to accept the offer of a bed. Before I had a chance to respond though DJ walked up and greeted us.

"This chapter is really kicking my butt", he sighed and patted the math book which he held.

"I know", Bridgette sighed, "I can barely understand any of it."

"Why they gotta complicate an already functioning way of thinking?" DJ went on, rambling about the unnecessary additions of letters and imaginary numbers. I could see were he was coming from, math wasn't a favorite subject of mine nor was it all that much fun. It could at times be relaxing, when the equation was easy to understand and you didn't have to rip your hair out to try and figure it out. Mostly though it was frustrating and made my stress worse.

Nothing of interest happened during class. It was a quiet ninety minutes and Mr Barnett sat with his feet on the desk, almost sleeping by the looks of it. He was a tall man with a beer gut and a balding head, his face was square and a silvery bear covered his jaw and neck. He didn't care much for being a high school teacher, he used to be a university professor, teaching adults about space technology. No one really knew why he had taken such a downstep in his career, but it showed how much he disliked it.

"I'm never gonna get this", DJ sighed and leaned his forehead in his hands. He was looking at a particularly hard equation with one too many square roots.

"You got to cancel these two out", I said and leaned over his book, pointing with the tip of my pencil.

"I'll cancel this subject out", he muttered lowly before erasing some of his attempts to solve the problem in his book.

"Count me in", Bridgette said unenthusiastically from my other side, she was resting her cheek in the palm of her hand, looking out the window. It was a nice day, not so much sunny but still warm enough to skip the jacket. The leaves on the trees had started to change color, the green was fading away and shades of yellow and red took its place. It was still another few weeks until they would drop to the ground by themselves, but strong enough winds would at times blow them free.

The minutes ticked by and after my twentieth equation the class was over. We filed out of the classroom with the rest of the students and met up with Geoff by his locker. Duncan was still nowhere to be found, though he often skipped the first few hours of school and later showed up for lunch.

Bridgette and Geoff stood facing each other with their arms wrapped around the other, whispering sweet nothings as they leaned their foreheads together. Only every few words were recognisable; love, baby, stop, friday. Bridgette let out a girlish giggle as they shared kisses, not caring who saw.

"Get a room!" I turned around at the sudden yell and was met by Duncan with his hands cupped around his mouth to make his voice reach farther.

"Hey, dude", Geoff greeted and offered Duncan a high five, which he gladly reciprocated. DJ patted Duncan's back and they too exchanged hello's. Bridgette soon delved into a conversation with Geoff and DJ about their english homework.

"Good luck on that biology test", Duncan said and turned to me with a crooked smile. The others chatter just barely covering his hopeful statement.

"Thanks", I smiled back. His eyes caught mine in that moment; they were a cloudless summer sky, glistening with what could only be described as happiness. He smiled gently at me and it was like I could not look away. Those eyes could tell a million stories if you just looked close enough, and those lips could tell you a million more if you took enough time to break down his defenses. I realised in that moment that I wanted to know them, all his stories.

I had lost myself in the moment enough not to realise the hallway had quieted down and our group of friends had dispersed to their respective classes. Duncan dared himself a step closer and let one of his hands stroke my upper arm comfortingly. The movement snapped me back to reality and I quickly dismissed myself.

I could feel his gaze on me as I walked away, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and trying to calm down the heat in my cheeks. It should not be a big deal that he remembered my test, it should not be a big deal that he caressed my arm and I should most definitely not get giddy by his smile. But I couldn't deny it to myself any more that I did find it warming that he had remembered and that I did enjoy his soothing touches and looks and smiles.

* * *

The biology test was not as hard as I had imagined. Most of the questions were taken straight out of the textbook, and the ones that weren't were simple anatomy related things we'd learned last semester.

I handed my papers to Mr. Richards with a smile. He was leaning back in his chair and sighed as he leaned his elbows on the desk and took my papers. He took a quick look through my answers before nodding his approval, which was my cue to exit. Mr. Richards was a strict teacher and he only allowed his students to leave if he found their work acceptable. One unanswered question too many and you had to sit back down.

The hallway was already starting to fill with students as most classes ended for lunch. I knew Bridgette and Geoff would show up any minute and decided to wait by my locker. I packed the math and biology supplies back into it and got the history ones out.

"How'd it go?" Duncan asked as I closed the locker door; he was stood on the other side of it again like two fridays ago with his hands in his pockets.

"I feel confident", I answered before heaving the bag over my shoulder. He nodded at my response but said nothing more. "What's for lunch?"

"Some weird stew", he shrugged.

"Weird in look or taste?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Thought I'd wait for you before I find out", Duncan said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips and I couldn't help but smile back.

We walked side by side to the cafeteria and even though neither of us spoke my head hurt from noise. I had accepted the truth about whatever was going on between Duncan and I and how I felt about it, but had he? We had established monogamy during breakfast, a decision that hadn't been spoken about more than four words. Was it even a decision or only a mutual statement that were true for the time being?

I closed my eyes hard as we sat down with our food at an empty table. I could feel myself regretting the words I spoke the instant they came out my mouth. "What are we?"


	15. The danger of childhood ruminating

**A/N: A bit of fluff, a bit of angst and a bit of cringy humour - this chapter got it all folks.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

I closed my eyes hard as we sat down with our food at an empty table. I could feel myself regretting the words I spoke the instant they came out my mouth. "What are we?"

"What do you mean?" Duncan asked, cocking his head to the side as he watched me, his mohawk lumping with the force.

"I mean", I started and cleared my throat, bracing myself for whatever answer he had stored away for this moment, "what is this? This thing between us." My hand flew carelessly over the table, gesturing between the two of us.

"Lunch?" He quirked an eyebrow but soon followed the innocently questioning look with a lopsided smirk.

"You know what I mean", I said and narrowed my eyes, annoyance seeping into my tone.

"It is whatever you want it to be", Duncan said and leaned back in his chair, trying to straighten the green hair that stood up crookedly on his head.

"What about breakfast?" I asked, rolling my bottom lip between my teeth as I waited for him to stop fidgeting and start speaking, hoping he would remember the conversation we had had.

"What about it?" Clearly he was enjoying making me repeat the things said that morning, shown by the smirk he still wore. His eyes however traveled down my face to rest on my lips, if only for a second, before he snapped them back to hold my gaze.  
"You're not seeing anyone", I started, looking down at the tray of food in front of me, "and I'm not seeing anyone…" I trailed off in hopes he would fill in the blanks himself, but he didn't open his mouth to speak, forcing me to continue. "Whatever we're doing, whatever's going on… are we exclusive?"

"Baby", he chuckled but sat up straight in the chair, folding his hands together as he leaned on the table, "that's what 'not seeing anyone else' means." Before I could quip back that I knew the definition of exclusive and that I was wondering about _our_ status, our table got three new occupants.

Bridgette sat down next to me and Geoff and DJ sat down on the other side of the table.

"What are you guys talking about?" Bridgette asked as she started poking around in the stew with her fork.

"Nothing", I shrugged while Duncan blurted out 'exclusiveness'. My eyes went wide with panic and my foot found his leg under the table. He jumped at the kick to his shin but played it off as a forceful sneeze.

"Like limited edition?" Bridgette asked and waved with her fork as she leaned on one of her elbows. A drop of stew landed in her water but she didn't seem to notice.

"Yes", I answered a little too fast, glaring across the table at Duncan, silently telling him to keep his mouth shut.

"Oh, speaking of", Geoff joined in, "there's this new soda with chocolate and mint." He took a big bite out of his food, only mumbles and hums coming out as he tried to continue talking about the beverage.

"Which sounds good in theory", DJ cut him off and Geoff shut his mouth to chew properly, "but tastes absolutely disgusting."

"You need to try it, man", Geoff said after a loud gulp, and turned his head to Duncan.

"Will do", he answered with a nod as Geoff took another, equally big bite out of his food.

As lunch went on the topics changed; from the new baking pan DJ got as a celebration of his cat's health, to Bridgette's trip to Malibu next summer, to Mrs. Jacqueline's annoying 'only french in the classroom' rule. Eventually we made our way outside, to my favorite tree, and the conversations about school continued on until the bell rang.

I managed to drag Duncan aside as the others went to their respective classes and quickly and quietly told him to meet me at the campsite after school. My worried thoughts had quieted down as he had more or less confirmed our statues during lunch, though we still had much to talk about.

* * *

I was the first one of us to make it to the campsite. I never really lingered around the school in the afternoon like I did in the mornings; the quad and hallways were overflowing with students and the chatter made my head hurt, while the mornings were peaceful and at times beautiful as the sun shone between the buildings.

If you overlooked the empty beer cans and cigarette butts, the campsite was beautiful too. The leaves on the trees were thick and the sun shone in between branches, casting a yellow glow at the uneven circle in which the bench and tents were.

I poked at the fireplace with a stick as I sat down on the wooden seat with my knees drawn up close to my chest. I had repeated quietly to myself what I would say to Duncan, what I would ask him and what he may've asked me. The thoughts swirled around too fast and as I tried to grip on one for long enough to think it through properly, it slipped away in an overflowing sea of wonderings and words.

"Do you want it lit, babe?" His voice broke through my whirling mind as he sat down next to me on the bench. I shrugged in response but stopped the poking as he leaned forward to set some of the wood and paper on fire. "Care to tell me what we're doing here?"

"Talking", I said and looked up at him, letting my cheek rest atop my knees.

"Not so much of a conversation when you only say one word", Duncan teased and bumped me with his shoulder. The simple gesture made me relax a bit and I smiled back at him.

"You know how, during lunch, we said we were exclusive?" I said, not really knowing where I was going.

"Yeah", Duncan nodded and I was surprised to see the seriousness in his eyes. Normally he would reply with a joke or rude remark, though I suppose he understood the time was not right for any of that.

"I, uhm", I started, looking away from the intense blue of his eyes, instead shallowly resting my gaze upon the embers trying so hard to grow into flames, "I like that. I mean-I don't want us to see other people."  
"I like that too", he confessed. I could feel him move closer to me on the bench and drape his arm along the backrest and without thinking I leaned back farther, his arm softly grazing the back of my shoulders.

"And I-I uhm-I like you", I blurted out, my brain too slow to stop the words that fell out of my mouth; or maybe it didn't want to stop them.

Duncan's arm dropped from the bench down on my shoulders, a silent confirmation of him listening and understanding, prompting me to continue.

"I like you", I repeated silently, like I was realising it for the first time myself. I tucked my legs underneath me, leaning slightly into Duncan's side and immediately absorbing the scent of lavender and petrole. "I don't want to tell anyone yet." My voice was small and sounded almost fragile, like I was a kid begging shyly for a lollipop.

"That's okay", Duncan said and squeezed my shoulder. He didn't sound mad or disappointed, nor did he sound especially happy. I dared a look at him through my lashes and was met by his eyes looking back at me. It was an intimate moment, not like the ones we had found ourselves in in the last two weeks, but still one I wouldn't want to share with anyone else.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did, babe", Duncan answered with a smirk. I rolled my eyes at the lame answer and looked back at the fire; the flames had engulfed the papers and were starting to climb atop the wood. "Go ahead", he said after a few seconds, rubbing my arm apologetically.

"Why are you not home?" The question had been on my mind since the first time he showed me this campsite and it had only gotten louder and louder as the days went on. Last Saturday he had told me he called home to make sure his father was not around, his father who had kicked him out in the first place. I knew it was a sore spot, but I needed to know what had happened. I needed to understand his situation and I wanted to help.

Duncan swallowed audibly and the gentle rubbing of his hand on my shoulder stopped. I could feel him turn his head away. "My dad", he started with a sigh, "he doesn't really like me."

"Why?" The question slipped out of my mouth before I had time to think about it and stop it. It was a stupid question, one that he probably thought about too much anyway without my curiousness.

"Because I'm not the one he wants me to be", he shrugged, the answer sounded more like a question, like he didn't really know himself why.

"Who does he want you to be?" I sat up straight and turned my body to look at him properly, the shift making his arm fall off my shoulders.

"Him", he said bitterly, "or Jonas or Paul or Max. Anyone that isn't me."

"You don't talk about your brothers that often", I noted. Usually when they were mentioned it was in passing, like when he would talk about Max eating all the pancakes for breakfast or Paul coming home from college over the weekends. It was well known that Duncan's brothers were taking after their father, training to be police officers, and that made him grow apart from them over time.

"We used to have fun when we were younger", Duncan said, breaking me out of my thoughts, "we would steal bikes and see who could make it down a hill the fastest", he chuckled.

I remembered once years ago when I couldn't find my bicycle for an entire weekend; it was back in the same spot I had parked it in that Monday morning though and I had written it off as my parents taking it away because of something I had done. "I think you took mine once", I said, remembering those two days that I was bored out of my mind.

"Probably", Duncan snickered, but the joyful expression of a good memory soon vanished and back came the scowl and frown.

"What happened?"

"Jonas was going too fast one time", he sighed, staring at his clasped hands as he leaned his elbows on his knees, "lost control of the steering and came back home with cuts and bruises all over." I put a comforting hand on his shoulder and silently urged him to continue when his eyes met mine; he was finally opening up and letting me in and finally I understood. "Pops lost his mind, going on about how irresponsible we all were." A shaky sigh escaped his lips and he turned his gaze back to his hands. "I was only eight. I cried."

"I'm so sorry, Duncan", I mumbled, my free hand reaching up to cup his face. My thumb stroked his cheek gently.

"He yelled at me, screaming about how weak and soft I was being, how I had to grow up and be more manly if I ever wanted to achieve anything in life." _How weak and soft I was being._ The phrase repeated itself a hundred times over in my head and I realised the nerve I had stepped on two days ago was one full of bad childhood memories. _You're a real softie._

"That's horrible." My parents had been passive aggressive while I was growing up, ignoring and using me to get back at each other, but Duncan's father had outright disrespected him in front of his peers and shattered his confidence.

"Yeah, well", Duncan shrugged sadly and bit down on his bottom lip. He sighed loudly before continuing, "so I did what he wanted, I manned up, and", he gestured haphazardly to himself; his ripped jeans and the dark colors that clung to his body, the spikes scattered across the fabrics glistening in the sunlight, "still hates me."

My hand had dropped from Duncan's face, lying openly on his knee and I found myself looking for his hands when he let them fall back down. My fingers crept across the pale skin of the back of his hand before slowly - unsurely - embracing his hand with mine. His blue eyes shot up to mine, full with curiosity, and his hand turned in mine, making our fingers intertwine. The corners of my lips twitched up in a small, gentle smile before I leaned in for a kiss.


	16. The danger of camp sites

**A/N: This chapter contains kinda non-explicit smut and half of a plot point. I imagine this story will go on for maybe 5-10 more chapters, but I don't know.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

My fingers crept across the pale skin of the back of his hand before slowly - unsurely - embracing his hand with mine. His blue eyes shot up to mine, full with curiosity, and his hand turned in mine, making our fingers intertwine. The corners of my lips twitched up in a small, gentle smile before I leaned in for a kiss.

Duncan responded to the kiss within an instant and his free hand found the back of my neck, holding me close while our lips danced together. And when the cool sensation of the piercing in his tongue brushed over the roof of my mouth I couldn't help but smile, the sudden temperature change and the distinct taste of metal sending shivers down my spine.

I put my hand on his chest for support as I leaned in closer, pressing our bodies as close together as possible on the wooden bench. The fire crackled beside us and I felt as warm and alive as it.

Duncan carefully caught my bottom lip between his teeth, giving it a small kiss of its own before he pulled away. He didn't go far though, as he rested his forehead against mine, with his eyes shining bright of content, his lips formed the one word I had circulating through my own mind.

"Tent?"

Duncan's blue eyes shone even brighter than before when I nodded in response before leaving him for the makeshift home with a peck on the lips. I had all but crawled into the tent, facing the opening, when Duncan's smirking face popped in.

"Welcome back", he said, his tone low and teasing. The tent was small enough for Duncan to reach me in only a matter of seconds, my breath hitching as his lips hovered above mine. I had leaned back on my arms, praying for their support as I felt shivers running through my body at the intensity in his voice and gaze. His hands came to rest next to mine when he leaned closer to me, his arms on each side of my body.

"Glad to be back", I whispered back. The tip our noses touched and his lips brushed over mine, always too far away and too light to satisfy the desire I felt within me. He ran his tongue along my lower lip, a sweet mixture of warmth and coldness that made my eyes flutter close. Duncan continued his trail across my jawline and down my neck, kissing and licking and biting his way down to my collarbones.

A moan escaped my lips as I felt the familiar warmth of blood gathering underneath my skin, his mouth leaving purple marks as he went. A hand trailed its way up my arm and I couldn't tell if he was the one shaking or me. All I knew was that it felt great and I wanted more.

His lips found mine once more and the exploring hand of his came to cup my neck, supporting our heads as our tongues battled for control and our lips pushed against each other. The kiss was hot and sloppy and more passionate than anything else and we kissed until we were out of breath. My fingers spread themselves across his jaw, twirling the loose strands of his hair and stroking the smooth skin of his cheeks.

We both breathed out hard when the kiss broke apart and a smile crept its way onto my lips instead. The top of Duncan's mohawk brushed the roof of the tent, curving slightly at the tips, his eyes looking deep into mine, making the moment all that more perfect.

I leaned in, slowly licking the harsh line of his jaw up to his ear. I could feel him shiver under the touch and he let out a breathy moan. "Show me you're not soft", I breathed, "show me how strong you are." And he did. He twisted his fists in my hair, assaulted my neck with kisses, sucks and bites, he dug his fingers into my skin and held onto my hip bones. He left a trail of hot kisses down my body, too quickly yet too slowly making his way down between my legs. His fingers worked fast as he undressed me and he kept me dancing on the edge with the flicks of his tongue, never letting me ride out my high to completion.

I screamed at him in anger and about him in pleasure until the teasing stopped and he flipped me over, pushing my head down as he centered above me and we connected at the hips. The sound of skin slapping skin echoed through my ears as he breathed heavily, growling his pleasures in my ear and planted sloppy kisses on my red and purple stained skin. He twisted a fist in my hair as he picked up the speed and the pained pleasure shoved me over the edge. It was a sensation I had never experienced before. Tears prickled my eyes and my back arched as the ecstasy mixed with the thrill of hurting.

Duncan's own climax followed soon after, his hands eagerly gripping at any and all parts of my body. He swore in my ear and held me close as we both stood on our knees, my back pressed as close as possibly to his chest.

We both collapsed on the unrolled sleeping bag afterwards. His arms came to rest soothingly around me and I laid my head on his chest, a smile spread across my face as I tried to steady my breathing.

"You okay?" Duncan asked, his voice unsteady from the recent intimacy we had shared.

"Yeah", I breathed in answer, my own voice not any steadier than his, "that was… something else."

"It sure was", he chuckled before kissing the top of my head, "a good kind of something." I hummed in agreement and nuzzled the crook of his neck. His heart beat fast under my ear and the rhythmical sound was soothing. His fingers traveled along the side of my body, tracing invisible lines across my back and circling the blooming bruises around my hips. My eyes drifted shut even with the sun still high in the sky, the repetitive sound of Duncan's body and the calming drawings of his fingers on my skin sinking my alertness, pushing my mind to the depth of sleep.

"Hey", Duncan's voice broke through the deep silence that blocker my ears, "it's almost dinner time, if you fall asleep now you'll be up all night." I smiled at that. The simple yet so incredibly caring statement. My sleep, my state of mind, was something he cared about. Duncan may not be soft, but he was sweet and good and honest. I should be honest with him too.

"Dunky?" My voice was hoarse and I forced myself to open my eyes. The light struck me hard and I had to blink several times for my sight to adjust.

"Dunky?" He repeated, and even with the questioning nature of his apparent shock his voice sounded teasing.

"Oh shut up", I said and slapped his chest with little to no power. The air of his exhalation as he smiled hit the top of my head and a light chuckle made his chest vibrate.

"What is it, princess?"

I swallowed hard and wetted my lips. _Should I tell him?_ The hesitation whispered loudly in the back of my mind and I had to shake my head to make them disappear. He had shared what had to have been a hard part of his childhood with me, he deserved to know he was not alone.

"My dad is cheating on my mom", I blurted out with a painful tone, my voice low. Duncan's fingers stopped their trace then. He exhaled through his nose and I could hear the smacking of his lips. "I think that's why she's in Toronto", I quietly continued, "I mean, grandmother really is sick, but I think, maybe, she isn't the only reason my mom flew there, you know."

Duncan laid silent underneath my head, the only sign he was even alive was the slight rise and fall of his chest. I knew that if I looked up at him, if I saw his reaction to the truth I had never come to terms with, I would break. I knew his eyes would be full of pity and the tears and anger I had fought back for years would be brought to the surface.

"It's one of those things considered rude to talk about", I continued, trying to explain even though I knew how absolutely crazy it sounded; it was crazy. My parents were supposed to love each other, yet here they were, stuck in a loveless marriage, too proud to get out. "I saw him once, sitting in the back corner of a café with a woman, when he was supposed to be in Montreal for a conference."  
"I'm so sorry", Duncan said after a few moments of silence, his thumb carefully started moving along my hipbone again. I shrugged gently, sadly, and mustered enough power to look up at his face.

"Yeah, well, what can you do?" I asked with a humorless laugh in an attempt to keep the reality from hitting too hard. I was almost certain my mother knew, and a part of me understood why she used grandmother to flee from it all for a while; but if it were me, I would certainly kick his ass.

"I guess all families are fucked up in their own way", Duncan thought out loud, the pressure of his fingers intensified and I winced a little under the hard treatment my already sore hips were experiencing. He didn't seem to notice though as he silently hummed and clicked his tongue in thought to himself. I wondered what had his mind so occupied and turned my head to watch the expressions flick over his face. For the most part his features remained blank, though every now and then his brows would crease or his lips would twitch.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, my own brows furrowed in confusion. Duncan looked down at me and his face, and the grip on my hips, immediately softened.

"Going home", he answered in a low voice.

"That's great." The simple fact of knowing Duncan would be sleeping in a bed every night comforted me, that he would have three full meals a day and be able to shower whenever he wanted.

"I hope so", he said sincerely, "ma would love to have me back." I didn't comment on the fact that he didn't mention his father. After what he had just told me the two would clash soon enough without me pushing the issue and trying to meddle.

"I can't wait to see your house", I joked, bumping his arm with my shoulder.

"Who said you were invited?" he said with a smirk, his hand traveling down my hip to the thick of my thigh, hitching it up over his own leg.

"I did", I challenged and put both my hands on his chest, letting him pull me on top of him.

"You're not in charge."

"Agree to disagree", I said and ground my hips into his, making a deep moan escape his lips as he closed his eyes.

That afternoon we set a personal record of three intimate sessions, that night I slept in the tent with Duncan again and by the next morning my phone died and I couldn't bare myself to care.


	17. The danger of rumors

**A/N: Heather's baaack**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

I woke up before Duncan that morning and decided to let him sleep. He laid next to me in the tent with an arm under his head, his mouth hung open and the corner of his lips glistened with saliva. The skin around his neck was stained purple from love bites like I could feel mine was, though unlike my body he lacked bruises. I could feel the soreness shoot through my knees as I crawled out of the tent, gathering my clothes as I went.

I dragged the wrinkled fabrics over my body and sighed in exhaustion and frustration over how unkempt it looked. I picked up my dead phone from the back pocket of my jeans and examined the reflection in the black screen, trying hard to fix the frizzy bed-head that had developed during the afternoon and night; it was hard to do with one hand but I managed to get it under control.

I looked around the campsite after putting down my phone in the pocket again and caught a glimpse of Duncan inside the tent. He hadn't moved nor woken up even though I all but climbed over him in my less than graceful exit. His hair wasn't spiky anymore and instead fell in curly lumps around his head. The green contrasting the paleness of his skin beautifully.

I felt bad about leaving without saying goodbye, though I knew we would be the next talk around school if I woke him up and we arrived together. Some sticks laid around the firepit and I scribble a quick message in the ground before taking my leave.

I had no idea what time it was, though with the sun's low position near the horizon and the sky still full of orange and pink I guessed it was around seven in the morning. The walk to school was quiet except for the chirping of the birds that flew from tree top to tree top. It was still too early for cars to drive by, school and work wouldn't start for another hour or so. In a few of the houses I passed I could see families eating breakfast together and my stomach rumbled at the very thought of food. Last thing I ate had been the few bites I had of yesterday's lunch at school, which is to say not that nutritious.

I reached the school grounds as the sky changed its tone from the stunning orangy-pink to a more calmer blue hue. No cars were in the parking lot, not even a faculty one. It must've been earlier than I expected if even the janitor wasn't present.

The air was cold and I cursed mentally for not going home to get a jacket and freshen up. I could taste the buildup in my mouth and wanted desperately to brush my teeth. My hair was a bit of a mess even though I combed my fingers through it earlier, nothing could compare to an actual comb or brush.

With a sigh I dropped to the ground under my favorite tree and rummaged through my bag. I had to have something to make me feel a little fresher. After going through all compartments of my bag three times I had come up with some mint gum, a small compact mirror and half a bottle of dry shampoo.

I popped the gum in my mouth and felt relieved over the minty taste, it was certainly not like brushing your teeth but at least it was something. I popped the mirror open and sprayed some of the shampoo in the roots of my hair. Even with yesterday's makeup on and unbrushed hair I still looked decent. I had gotten few hours of sleep but felt loose and relaxed anyway; though that probably had more to do with Duncan than the sleep.

I shut my eyes and rested my head at the tree trunk behind me. A smile ghosted my lips as I replayed last night's events behind my eyelids. Duncan's strong hands holding me, gripping my skin, his soft lips brushing every centimetre of my body, his lust filled voice speaking my name in between grunts and moans.

The minutes flew by as I sat on the cold ground, too invested in the memories to notice the changes happening around me. I was stirred back to reality by Mr. Andrews, the janitor.

"You're here earlier than usual", he said once I looked up at him, the wrinkles of his face were prominent and the loss of some of his teeth made it harder for him to speak.

"Thought I would get a head start on you", I smiled back and gathered my things, stuffed the compact mirror and bottle of dry shampoo back in my bag, before getting up to my feet.

"So where do you wanna go?" Mr. Andrews hooked his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans, waiting with a smile for me to answer.

"Just inside would be nice", I said and brought my hands up to rub some warmth into my arms. He looked at me with a questioning look, no question wondering why I hadn't brought a jacket, but nodded in compliance. The janitor unlocked the main building of the school and I slipped inside fast with a grateful smile and thanked him.

One of the big clocks on the wall of the hallway ticked loudly and I could now see just how early I really was; I had one hour and fifteen minutes to kill before classes would start. I found the nearest electrical outlet and plugged in my phone, watching how the empty battery symbol lit up at the connection. I sighed and slid down the wall slowly, my knees getting dragged up to my chest as my butt hit the floor.

I wished I had stayed at the campsite, inside the tent with Duncan. Without a phone I hadn't known what time it was but he probably had battery on his cell and it had been stupid of me not to at least check before I left.

I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, I let my mind drift off to the land of dreams as I waited for my phone to charge and for school to start. In it I saw my dad, how he held hands with that woman. I saw Duncan as a child, racing downhill on a bike. I saw my mom, sitting on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night; crying. I saw Duncan's tall father, tousling Paul's hair with pride. I saw myself, laughing in the tent at the campsite. I saw Duncan, sneak light kisses along my naked shoulder as I had fallen asleep before him. I saw how we both had problems, and I saw how we both smiled despite them. Then it all went away. Like a big lightning bolt had hit next to me, my dream went white and bright and it nearly blinded me.

It was the screeching sound of the old school bell that woke me up with a start and it took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts. Quickly I snagged the charger out of the wall, stuffed it in my bag, and hit the power button on my phone.

"You look like hell." The voice was high and laced with underlying hostility. I looked up to face the commenter and was met with an all too feigned sneer and long, raven black hair. She stood like the well dressed point in an arrow, with two of her fellow cheerleaders backing her up.

"Gee, thanks, Heather", I said back with an eyeroll and got up to my feet, my bag slung across my shoulder. Suddenly my decent look went from okay to garbage, my poorly concealed circles and wrinkly shirt was no competition to the uniforms that clung to their chests and the skirts that would leave nothing to the imagination were they to bend even the slightest.

"Oh I am only concerned about your well-being", Heather said with an almost believable innocence.

"How nice of you", I reluctantly answered through gritted teeth and tried to pass her but the brainwashed minions stepped to block my way.

"I am, aren't I", she smiled, showing of her unnaturally white teeth, and held a hand over her heart. The cheerleaders nodded their heads and voiced their agreement, ' _You so totally are'._

"Did you want something?" I sighed and readjusted my bag as I shifted my weight, my hip shooting out to the right.

"I've seen you hanging out with Mr. Bad Boy." Heather had tossed away any sign of humbleness, her voice dangerously low now as she leaned down in an obvious power play attempt; the heels on her shoes giving her an extra few centimetres of height.

"Who?" I asked and crossed my arms. I was tired of her games, though I knew if I didn't play along she could - and probably would - crumble my reputation with just the snap of her fingers; she stood high in the hierarchy of the school.

"Duncan." Heather narrowed her eyes, visibly tired of running around in circles and speaking in riddles too.

"So?" I sighed, "I've hung out with him and the others for ages." Behind her I saw how the corridor had filled with students, some of which looked on with intrigue and curiosity at our exchange.

"I'm not talking about the others", she said challengingly.

"I've known Duncan since we were kids", I stated and straightened up, "why now the sudden interest?" The cheerleaders behind Heather exchanged nervous glances with each other as their leader shifted and fidgeted. The temporary show of vulnerability quickly disappeared and she clenched her jaw with disguised anger.

"I came here to warn you, don't be such a bitch", Heather said, her voice on the brink of yelling. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. "He's trouble, you know. Nothing but trouble."

"I think I can handle it", I spat out and walked past her with force in my steps, bumping my shoulder with one of the cheerleaders behind her as she didn't move away fast enough.

"Take care of our boy, Courtney", Heather called after me and as I looked back with a frown I saw a wicked smile spread across her lips. The otherwise would be caring advice echoed of threats and I gripped my bag till my knuckles went white as I raced down the hallway to my classroom of the morning.

* * *

"You're late Miss Cadenas." Mr. Richard's voice vibrated through the empty room as the door clicked shut behind me. It was eerie he knew it was me since he didn't look up from whatever he was writing on his computer.

"I'm sorry, I was-", I started but was cut short.  
"I don't care about your excuses", he looked up at me now and nodded once to the classroom, "take a seat and read the board."

I hurried past the students, trying hard to ignore their whispers about my tardiness and weird looks, and sat down next to DJ.

"Where you've been, man?" he whispered as I started getting out my books.

"I ran into Heather", I sighed and flipped to the page in the textbook that was written on the board.

"Oh I am sorry", DJ said and rested a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I got out of it alive", I joked without humor, ending the conversation abruptly before any more questions were asked. I knew it was for the best to keep what had been said between Heather and I on the down low, the gossip about our quarrel would spread without me fueling the fire.

By lunchtime the word had already spread around the school, students spitting out their theories left and right about the topic of my talk with Heather that morning. The most absurd one I had heard was that the quarrel had been one between lovers, and the most accurate one was about me hooking up with Heather's ex; though it involved Justin and not Duncan, she had made it clear what her intentions with the latter where last year.

"So which one is it? Lesbians, step sisters or cheating?" Geoff asked as DJ and I joined them outside. He was leaning against the tree with Bridgette's head in his lap.

"None", I said with a sigh and sat down crossed-legged across from the couple, "people just like to exaggerate for the drama."

Bridgette turned her head to look at me, squinting as the sun hit her eyes. "Don't let it get to you, we're here if you want to talk."

"Thanks", I smiled back. Bridgette was great when it came to stuff like this; she didn't press the issue, like she could sense it wasn't a big deal, and without fuss let me know she was there for me if needed, if it was a big deal. Despite all her clumsiness, this was one thing she was not clumsy about.

"Hey", DJ broke through, making both mine and Bridgette's heads snap to him, "where's Duncan?"

"At the nurse's", Geoff answered, waving his hand through the air as if to shoo away the question. "Wait a second", he gasped, his back shooting away from the tree, "the nurse is a brunette-"

"Oh no", Bridgette said, pressing a hand to her forehead, as she could tell where her boyfriend was going.

"and she's curvy", he continued, as if not noticing Bridgette, " _and she's a brunette_ ," he repeated, "what if Duncan's doing Nurse Blaker!"

"Please", I scoffed, though I was not the only one. DJ had also shot down the idea.

"Nurse Blaker is like the sweetest person there is, he said his mystery chick was fiery."

"He's right, baby", Bridgette chimed in, "she gives everyone lollipops and always shows concern even if you only have a mild cough."

"Well that's her job, Bridg, she has to be nice to students." Geoff had apparently made up his mind, no matter how much we protested it.

"Even Courtney would be a more believable option", Bridgette said and rose from his lap, her arm stretch out to point at me. My heart skipped a beat at the accusation and I swallowed hard. Maybe she had caught on, like Heather had?

"That's crazy", I scoffed and averted my gaze.

"I don't know", DJ said, tapping a finger to his chin, "you have been getting awfully close recently." I could feel all their eyes on me and I swallowed loudly once more.

"Who has?" Duncan's voice broke through, making everyone's attention go from me to him, and I thanked whatever higher being there were for his convenient timing.

DJ started to explain the journey their speculations had gone on but only managed to get out a couple of words before Geoff cut him off.

"Dude, are you banging Nurse Blaker?"

All five of us went quiet at the outburst and Duncan looked at Geoff with big eyes, his eyebrows raised high on his forehead. Then, he laughed. "Dude, she's like 50."  
"I don't know, man, older chicks can teach you a thing or two", Geoff said in an attempt to justify his statement, his brows furrowing, making Duncan laugh harder and Bridgette glare. "Uh, not that I-erm", he started nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

"Just stop before you make it worse", Bridgette said and removed his arm from behind his head, laying it down softly in her own lap and intertwining their fingers. Although upset at his remark, a smile formed on her lips as she looked into her boyfriend's eyes and he gripped her hand back. And although Heather had silently threatened to expose my bizarre relationship with Duncan, I couldn't help but shift a little closer to him, my fingers ghosting his as our hands laid in the grass close to each other.


	18. TDO moments throughout the week

**A/N: Just some snippets from Courtney's week. Mostly filler, though slight plot point towards the end.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

The week went by with wondering looks and whispers that stopped as I passed by. It was exhausting and irritating, but I found relief in the fact that Heather hadn't spoken out about our conflict, making the talk about us only wild rumors fueled by nothing other than hearsay and secret wishes.

I had dragged Duncan into one of the faculty corridors that Tuesday afternoon, telling him about the discussion with Heather.

"She figured it out somehow", I said in a hushed voice and leaned back against the cool wall.

"But how?" Duncan was more confused about the whole ordeal than anything, not sharing the anxiousness I felt about it.

"She has eyes and ears everywhere", I sighed. Someone had probably overheard our conversation in the cafeteria while someone else might have seen us outside the diner, and she simply put the pieces together. "Maybe we should lay low for a while. Until it blows over."

"Dragging me into an empty hallway ain't exactly laying low", he smirked, leaning a hand on the wall beside me. His eyes caught mine and I felt more than saw the mischievous glint in them.

"Shut up", I said and turned my head away from his. I knew if I had held his gaze any longer I might've buckled and let the danger of getting caught fuel our bodies and emotions.

"Don't be mad at me", Duncan said, his voice full of pretend innocence. He leaned in closer and I felt his breath hit the exposed skin of my neck. "You could've texted me, or not tell me at all. But no, you took time out of your day to find an unoccupied corridor to talk to me in." His voice got lower and more etched with teasing desire by each word, his lips brushing my neck as he spoke.

"Don't make this about you", I said, the words trembling as I tried hard to hold my composure.

"You're right", Duncan said, his mouth moving away from my skin, "it's about you." And with that his lips crashed against mine. His tongue parting my lips, sneaking its way inside to meet mine. The kiss got heated fast. I was caged against the wall, letting Duncan breath in my moans as our lips danced against each other. And if the school bell hadn't rung to warn about the last class of the day, I don't know how far we would've taken it.

A teacher had rounded the corner just as we parted and Duncan used his hands to push himself away from the wall I leaned against. The adult had raised her eyebrows and cleared her throat in an attempt to get our attention. Duncan scratched the back of his neck and we both started rambling about the classes we had to go to.

"That was too close", I had warned him once we were out of earshot from the teacher.

On Wednesday I tried to keep my distance. I took a seat in the front of the first class we had together and I raised my hand at every question, minimizing his - and my - opportunities to talk or touch. All five of us had PE together and I quickly paired myself with Bridgette to walk the obstacle course we had that day; which in hindsight had not been the greatest idea. We had fallen at the balancing rope and she got her foot stuck in the climbing net. I had pushed her up the beacons while she grabbed at it like a sloth. It had been an exhausting hour that otherwise I would have completed without problem or fault.

On Thursday I started getting nervous I had pushed him away, gone a little too far in my quest to lay low. It wasn't until lunch he decided to show up. Geoff, Bridgette, DJ and I had already taken our seats in the schoolyard, sitting down in an unevenly shaped circle next to my favorite tree. None of us had even spotted Duncan until he flicked a cigarette he was done with near us and plopped down on the ground next to me.

"Gonna go home tomorrow", he said, low enough for only me to hear. I turned my head to face him but he was stubbornly looking straight ahead at the flailing hands of Geoff who was trying to explain something to DJ.

"That's great", I answered, turning my head back to watch the hopeless conversation in front of us.

"Thought maybe you'd wanna know", he shrugged and leaned back on his elbows, experimentally resting a hand on the small of my back.

"I'm happy for you. Do you want me to…" I started, not really sure what I was offering to help with, "do something?" I finally managed to settle on.

"It's good, I need to do it alone", he said with a determined tone and I understood his decision. It had been weeks since he spent a night at home, weeks since he had talked to his father and eaten breakfast with his brothers. Adding me to the mix would more likely than not screw something up; I would've spoken up about the unfair treatment too loudly too quickly.

Duncan's thumb stroke small circles into my back as we continued to silently watch the interaction between our other friends, and I felt myself lean into his touch more and more as the minutes ticked by.

For the entirety of Friday Duncan didn't show and I could only hope everything with his move home had gone well and turned out okay.

I had taken a seat in the front of the classroom, near a window, for English class. One of Heather's cheerleaders sat two rows behind me and I could feel her eyes on me with every move I made. I raised my hand to answer a question, her head would snap up from her notebook in an instant. I turned my head to watch outside the window, her eyes followed my line of sight. I took out a new pen from my bag when the one I had snapped at the tip, she watched me carefully with narrowed eyes.

Halfway through the class, the door burst open, hitting the wall as it swung powerfully, and the chattery room went dead silent as everyone got startled. Heather stood in the doorway, her perfectly manicured fingernails tapping a rhythm on her hip and her long hair swept to one side. A smile played on her lips as she sashayed her way over to the teacher's desk. I looked around the room, seeing how some of the students had gone back to talking amongst each other like before Heather had entered, some threw quizzical glances between their textbooks and her, while some - mostly boys - straight out stared. And wow, did she know it. She bent down a little more than necessary as she spoke in a hushed voice to the teacher, making her skirt rise up just enough to hint at the roundings of her cheeks, her right leg crossing over the calf of her left.

As the seconds ticked away at the clock, and the time continued to pass without further interruption, everyone slowly went back to focus on their work - or chatter. Within minutes she had left again, though no less dramatic than she had entered, and the teacher cleared her throat, telling everyone to continue with question 42.

I packed my things back in my bag as the final seconds of the class ticked down loudly on the clock above the door, our teacher dismissing everyone and wishing us a good weekend.

"Don't think you have me fooled." The voice came from my right as I passed out the doorway with the other students. Heather was leaning against the wall, absentmindedly exhibiting her nails with outstretched arms as she spoke without looking at me.  
"What are you talking about now?" I asked and readjusted my bag, the cheerleader I had class with coming up behind me, as to block the possible escape route.

"Your boy-toy, of course", Heather answered and glanced up from her manicure to look at me, her hand being slowly lowered to be put atop her hip instead.  
"Of course", I repeated with a sigh and rolled my eyes.

"I know what you're trying to play", she continued, "just don't play it too hard or he'll lose interest."

"I'm not playing", I said and put my hand on my hip, mimicking her stance.

"Oh, honey, stop trying to kid yourself", she said, her smile never reaching the wicked expression in her eyes.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes in an attempt to sort the situation out; it didn't matter what Heather knew or thought she knew, she had kept it quiet this long, even with all the rumors and gossip going around the school, and without any evidence to back it up she would continue to keep it quiet while she made unspoken, empty threats.

"Whatever", I shrugged, not dignifying her comment with a proper answer, and gestured absentmindedly with my hands, making my bag slip down from my shoulder to the crevice of my elbow.

Heather looked at me with a mixture of shock and disbelief at the disrespectful word. She opened her mouth to speak but I walked away before she had a chance to say anything, a triumphant smile on my lips.

When I opened the gate to the fence surrounding my yard, I was surprised to see my mother's car parked in the driveway, blocking the door to the garage. She had been away for three weeks and the sight of the vehicle made me pause at the gate. I furrowed my brows in confusion but quickly shook it off, resuming my route to the front door.

I dropped the bag in the foyer as the front door closed behind me. I heard Will's tiny footsteps in his room above the stairs, and it didn't take long before his smiling face popped out of the doorway to his room and he jumped down the steps toward me.

"I missed you _so_ much", he said as he threw his arms around me, stretching out the second to last word to emphasize just how much he meant it.

"I missed you too", I smiled back, enveloping my arms around his tiny frame tightly. "How's grandma?"

"Tired", he said with a sigh as we separated and I took the opportunity to kick off my shoes. I could tell from his expression and tone that, although alive, grandmother was not doing well. He was just eight and had only recently grasped the concept of death, and, knowing my mom, ' _tired'_ was the only description he had gotten when asking about grandmother's wellbeing.

"Why don't you run upstairs and I'll be up in a minute to play?" I said, letting a smile tuck at the corner of my lips to get Will's mind on other, more fun, thoughts. His eyes shone with delight as he looked up at me and vigorously nodded his head before racing up the stairs.

I let my bag sit slumped against the wall of the foyer as I made my way around the back of the stairway, my mom's personal den spilling out before me, soft light shining from the candelabra she had lit.

"You're back", I said, standing in the doorway with my arms held behind my back.

"I am", my mom answered without lifting her face from the book she held in her hand. She sat in the armchair, not too far from the arch, with her feet tucked under her.

"You should move your car", I stated softly, rocking slowly back and forth on the soles of my feet.

"If your father has a problem with my parking, mija, he can take it up with me." She violently flipped a page in her book, the sound being absorbed by the darkly painted walls, and I knew the conversation was over. She had presumably heard Will and I's conversation in the foyer and had decided not to mention grandmother's state other than ' _tired'_ , and with a sigh I took my leave.

Will and I played in his room for an hour before he grew tired off it and wanted to watch tv, and I decided that studying in my own room would be more desireable than childrens' cartoons. I fetched my bag from beside the front door and threw it onto my bed. My phone bouncing out and catching my eye as the screen lit up with unread messages and notifications.

I quickly answered some texts from Bridgette, sent back my response to a funny cat video from DJ and deleted multiple notifications about newly published news articles. It wasn't until Duncan's name popped up in the roll-down-curtain that I stopped the scrolling, unknowingly holding my breath. I opened the message and my thoughts started spinning like carousel as I saw the two-worded sentence. ' _Call me'_. Was this a ' _we need to talk'_ sort of call? Did Heather get to him too?

With shaky fingers I dialed his number and within the first two signals he answered. He described his encounter with his family. How happy his mother had been, her lips reaching from ear to ear as she smiled at him. How Max had given him a big hug and showed him his new high score at a video game. How Jonas had patted his back and whispered that he had borrowed a condom from Duncan's bedroom drawer. How when his father came home he ruffled Max's hair and asked Jonas about the police academy. How his father didn't acknowledge him, not even with a glance.

"I thought he'd at least notice me", Duncan sighed sadly into the phone. I had put my bag down on the floor and laid down on my back on the bed.

"Does he want you out again?" I asked concerningly, not wanting him out in the woods once more.

"Haven't heard anything."

"Well that's good", I said, trying hard to point out the silver lining in a crap situation. I could almost hear how Duncan shrugged his answer.

He sighed and I could hear his bed creak as he got into it. "Can we change the topic?"

"Yeah", I agreed with a nod, not wanting him to dwell on his father's stupid behaviour. "Guess what."

"What?" Duncan asked, his voice already sounding less sad and less angry.

"Mom and Will are back."

"How did that go?" he chuckled, knowing how energetic my brother was and how passive my mother behaved. I told him about the car and we both rolled our eyes at the story. I told him about Will's new set of Lego. I told him about Heather's cornering of me after English class. I told him how I had been scared I had pushed him away when he didn't show up that Friday morning.

"Don't worry, honey", he had answered earnestly. The nickname rolling of his tongue as if it was nothing, sounding so sweet and innocent, filling the black pit in my stomach from Heather's harsh interpretation of the word only hours before with butterflies.

And that Friday night, I fell asleep on the phone with Duncan.


	19. TDO gym class and hallway confrontations

**A/N: I'm not sure whether this chapter turned out bad or good. I've written and rewritten it what feels like a thousand times and I can no longer form words properly. I wanted to get Courtney's thoughts on her and Duncan's relationship straightened out without being too obvious and in your face about it. I need your** **reviews** **and feedback now more than ever!**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

The weekend passed by without any excitement. My dad came home late Friday night and the tension at breakfast the next morning was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Will talked with joy in his voice as he waved around with his pancakes, neither mom nor dad giving him any attention other than mumbles and hums in uninterested agreement.

I studied, painted my nails with a clear coat, hummed along to songs, took a relaxing bath with lavender oil that my mom had brought home from Toronto - unbeknownst to the new memories I now associated with the smell - and talked to Duncan at night before bed. I could feel the week and all its drama wash away as I scrubbed my skin and smiled at our conversations. It was refreshing to leave it all behind, being reassured by each other that we were okay despite the gossip mill and Heathers attempt at interferences.

I traced my fingers around the fading lilac marks around my hips as I listened to Duncan talk about anything and everything that crossed his mind; about the new sticker he put on his motorcycle helmet, about a hilarious incident from the police academy Jonas had told him, about how he didn't want to study for his math test, about how his father had acknowledged him with a nodd and eye contact at breakfast, about how weird it felt to spend a weekend not seeing me. Knowing Duncan, that was as close he would get to admitting he missed me, and, even though I didn't want to admit it, I missed him too. It was a sentiment that was odd to even think about. I had spent so much of my life disliking him and his attitude, only accepting him if others were around to cool me down or the seldom seen moments when he was genuinely sweet and nice; like that friday three weeks ago. Yet, there I laid, laughing at his jokes and wishing he was in the bed next to me.

We had inched closer and closer together as the first two days of the week came and went, accidental bumps and caresses had become more frequent and his hand on my thigh was a constant if we sat at a table that could hide it.

It wasn't until Wednesday that the bizarreness of our situation dawned on me again, when I walked out of the locker room into the football field for PE. I had a jacket on, my hands stuck deeply into the pockets, it was too cold to have gym class outside, though our teacher didn't seem to care about that fact. DJ and Bridgette sat on the sideline of the field, the latter wearing her boyfriend's oversized hoodie for warmth. They had their backs to me and didn't notice when I walked up behind them.

"It's just weird." I heard DJ say in a low voice, leaning towards Bridgette to make sure none of the other students sitting near them overheard their conversation.

"You're overthinking things." Bridgette answered, a sympathetic smile playing on her lips.

"Am I though?" DJ asked, his right hand waving in the air as he continued. "She let him drive her on his bike. Courtney got on a _motorcycle_ with the dude. _Courtney!_ " He said again to emphasize his point.

The statement shook me back to reality, away from the warming memories of lingering touches and smiles promising more, back to what I had thought about us four weeks ago and what everyone around us was currently thinking; us, together, it was weird and bordering on unbelievable.

I gathered my thoughts, their thoughts, and took one last step forward to the pair sitting in front of me. "Yes?" I asked in feigned curiosity, like I hadn't just eavesdropped on his suspicions. For a second I wondered if he were confident enough in his previous statement that he would ask me about it. And for a second I thought about answering it truthfully.

"Courtney", DJ repeated, this time in shock as he looked back at me, "I, uh, was just wondering where you were."

Duncan and Geoff came out of the locker room and walked up to us before I had time to answer his attempt at an excuse, Geoff bending down to give his girlfriend a kiss on the forehead and lovingly rubbed her arms to give her some more warmth.

"Alright, people, gather 'round", Mr. Fletcher, the gym teacher, called from the corner of the field, and, ironically, he too was wearing a jacket.

After gym class I lingered around the field, hoping to catch more of the conversation if it was brought up again, though, like he had known, DJ was the first one to disappeared behind the door to the boys locker room.

I watched as Geoff and Bridgette embraced each other before parting ways with big smiles and I felt a sting of jealousy at their display of love. I had grown up with parents that never touched in public, except for the simple kisses on the others cheek during cocktail parties or work events; only enough to maintain the image of a happy marriage and a perfect family. It wasn't until Geoff had started pursuing, and eventually dating, Bridgette that I realised what real affection was. But a part of me still clung to my parents. And maybe that was why I had such trouble accepting my own feelings.

"You're gonna get cold", Duncan said as he came up beside me and slipped my jacket over my shoulders. I had taken it off during PE, the running and jumping generating enough warmth in the not-yet-too-cold weather.

"Thanks." My voice was quiet, distracted; my recent realisation still fresh in my mind, circling around and around and around.

"Hey", he said, stepping in front of me, a worried look on his face, "is something wrong?" I shook my head no but he didn't look convinced. "Come on", he probed, "tell your Dunky." A huge grin spread across his face as he repeated the nickname that had slipped through my lips last week.

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" I scoffed humorously and rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest as I met his gaze. The deep blue of his eyes were beautiful, drawing me in closer like a fish to the depth.

"Never", Duncan repeated softly, his piercing gleaming behind his teeth as it caught the light. He lifted one hand to cup my chin and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips, replacing the previous grin; it was contagious and within seconds I was smiling too.

I could've lived in that moment forever; his lightly callused fingers stroking my skin gently, my eyes swimming in his, our smiles mirroring each others. It warmed me inside out, even with the cool wind blowing in my hair. In that moment my parents love - or lack thereof - was stuffed away in a cardboard box deep inside my brain. In that moment I didn't care who saw us and it wasn't until later I found out that we had not in fact been alone in the field.

* * *

DJ and I stood by my locker, talking as I packed in the books I no longer needed and out the ones we would use for our next class when she approached. Her slim hand pushed the door to my locker shut with a bang, startling both DJ and I.

"I really liked that display of yours", Heather said, her manicured nails scraping against the metal as she withdrew her hand.

"What display?" I asked, genuinely clueless, and turned to face her. I could feel DJ take a step closer to me, sizing up the intruder and her agenda.

"The sweet moment you had out on the football field, of course", she answered sweetly with a shrug like it was no big deal. Realisation washed over me at her statement and I narrowed my eyes as they met hers in a silent battle.

"What-?" DJ started.

"It's nothing", I said in a haste to cut him off, only breaking eye contact with Heather for a second to look back at my friend reassuringly.

"Nothing", Heather repeated, snapping back my attention to her, "I'm sure he'll be glad to hear that's how you feel."

"What do you want, Heather?" I sighed and crossed my arms. I wondered how many times we would have to go through this same routine; Heather threatening my relationship with Duncan, insulting me in the process, before going our separate ways with nothing having changed.

"A favor." It was an unexpected answer and my face scrunched up in disbelief and thought as the words left her mouth. I had been waiting for another punch, not a plea.

"I don't think so", I scoffed and shook my head, still baffled by the request. Heather sighed at my response, and it sounded more like disappointment rather than annoyment, but she didn't turn around and leave.

"You scratch my back, I scratch yours."

"Like a quid pro quo kind of situation?" I asked, intrigued by the unexpected turn our conversation had taken, and folded my arms over my chest.

"Yes, okay", she said in a haste, her usual 'in-control' composure gone. She quickly shook herself back to normal, however. "You do this for me and I won't expose you."

"That's not a favor, it's blackmail. If you're going to extort someone, buy a dictionary and do it correctly."

"Please", she scoffed, her hand waving in the air as if to flip her hair, even though it was on the other side already, "you should buy some better insults."

"Ahem", DJ cut in abruptly, faking a cough to catch both of our attentions, "Courtney, we should get going." He pointed to the hallway stretching out behind him. It had become empty since Heather had walked up, only one or two students loitering around their lockers or enjoying that last minute before a test. I sighed as the conflicting thoughts buzzed in my head; got to figure out what Heather wants, get her off my back, but at the same time I had never missed a class.

"You go", I decided eventually, "I need to deal with this."

"Are you sure?" He asked, an eyebrow raised. It was not just unusual for me to skip or be late, it was unheard of, and even if it pained me to stay in the hallway I wasn't willing to risk going; if mine and Duncan's relationship was to come out, it shouldn't be from her gossiping mouth.

"Yeah", I nodded, "see you in class." It wasn't until DJ disappeared around the corner that I turned back to Heather, her head cocked to the side as she too had watched him leave.

"Your bodyguard is cute", she said, "But insufficient"

"What's the favor?" I sighed, wanting nothing more than to get it out of the way.

"My father is forcing me to go to this company banquet with him on Saturday. I know you're dad is going to be there, and I assumed you would too."

"You assume right." It was one of the biggest banquets this year, a lot of potential investors and sponsors were invited. One of the heads' of my dad's law firm was retiring, and taking his sponsors with him, making it extra important to make a good impression on the ones that may take their place one day.

"And you see, I can't go." I understood her lack of enthusiasm for the event. It would be a boring few hours filled with non alcoholic champagne, live music, too low to even hear and too inert for anyone to care, and small talk about christmas cards and childrens football practices.

"Why is that my problem?" I asked, my lips pressed together and my forehead scrunched in confusion.

"Because", Heather stretched out the word as if my question was beyond ridiculous, "if I don't show up, daddy won't be happy, and if daddy isn't happy he's unlikely to invest."

"Really? Threatening my dad's business", I said and shook my head, biting on my lower lip in an attempt to not flare up at her for even speaking the words. "I thought you were better than that."

"Do I occupy your mind a lot?", she asked with a hairflip and a smirk on her lips. "I'm going to need you to cover for me", she continued, disregarding her rhetorical question. "Tell him I'm in the bathroom or out talking to someone, I don't care, just keep him busy and off my ass."

I uncrossed my arms with a sigh. "He won't believe me."

"Don't worry so much." Heather's lean fingers dragged along the crease forming on my forehead, smoothing out the line. "You'll get wrinkles."

And with that, she walked away.

It was hard to avoid DJ's questions during the next two hours. I gave him vague answers and clutched my hands together in hope of him letting it go. If I could get by until the weekend without fueling the rumors or suspicions, I could talk to Duncan; fill him in on the latest Heather news and try to talk things through. It had only been one week and two days since we exchanged mutual confessions of our feelings and already it could've gotten fucked up if I didn't play my cards right. And I wanted so hard, so much, to not fuck it up.


	20. The danger of banquets

**A/N: Happy holidays everyone, and thank you all so much for the love this story gets! I will try to get the next chapter up before the end of the year**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

 **EDIT: While re-reading this chapter I realised the name of Courtney's dad's coworker changed in the middle of the conversation, so I fixed that by adding a second man.**

* * *

It felt like the next two days dragged on for forever, like the seconds turned into excruciating minutes, making the hours feel like days; as if time stood still.

I could barely think about anything else other than the incoming banquet and what reason Heather had for thinking her father would believe me.

I spaced out during French, making Bridgette nudge me with her shoulder every ten minutes so I could keep up with Mrs. Jacqueline's lecture. English class was a lot harder; usually I thrived in having strangers around me, easier to focus on the assignments, but having no one to drag me out from the loop in my head made my work suffer.

I spent the lunches leaning against the tree trunk with a book in my hands, even though I didn't read a word of it. We were all wrapped in jackets, trying hard to enjoy the last rays of sunshine and its warmth before it got too cold to spend the free periods outside. If the weather continued on this path the temperature would dip into the negatives within weeks and the year's first snow would follow shortly. I kept staring at the words in the book, flipping a page every so often, as the same questions from before kept repeating themselves in my head.

When I walked home that Friday, the path leading to the campsite called my name as I walked past it; telling me to ignore Heather, let her deal with the consequences of her choices herself, and instead lay down in the uncomfortable tent and sleep the weekend away. But I knew I couldn't do that. I couldn't jeopardize my dad's position in the company. And I couldn't jeopardize my relationship with Duncan.

"I picked up your dress from the dry cleaners", my mom's voice rang through the foyer as I closed the door behind me. I kicked my shoes off, hung my jacket on the rack and followed her words into the living room. She was sitting on the couch, with her feet tucked in under her and a magazine in her hands.

"I don't understand why you had to drop it off in the first place. It wasn't even dirty", I said and crossed my arms.

"Mija", she sighed irritably and closed the magazine over her thumb, still marking the page she was reading, as she looked up at me, "the stores themselves are dirty."

"Did you put it in my room?" I asked, suppressing an eye roll at her unmotivated bias.

"Yes", she flipped open the magazine once more, "it's hanging on the hooks." She licked her fingertip and used it to turn a page, making it clear the conversation was over. But as I started climbing the steps up to my room she spoke up again. "And be careful!"

The dress was beautiful. It was floor length and red and had a steep back, dipping down to my waist.

I touched the fabric delicately, like the threads would come undone under the pressure of my fingerprints.

"The only reason this night might be even a little fun is my dress", I said into the phone, a sigh escaping my lips.

"Tell me about it", Duncan said on the other end. He had called me an hour after I'd gotten home, worried about my behaviour the last couple of days. I tried to brush it off as nothing, telling him about the banquet instead of Heather.

"Well", I started, "I bought it last week. It's body hugging, but not tight, and the skirt widens after my hips, kind of like a mermaid cut but higher." Maybe it was because it was the newest, but that was my favorite dress.

"Honey", Duncan chuckled, "I have no idea what a mermaid cut is." The line went quiet for a second and I opened my mouth to explain it to him, but he cut me off. "But they're hot and so are you, so it's fitting."

I could feel the blush blossom on my face and a smile followed suit. "You're stupid", I said and shook my head, sitting down at the edge of my bed and opened one of the textbooks I had taken home to study.

"Can't be that stupid", he retorted, "I got you, didn't I?"

"Like I said", I giggled and laid down on my bed, my hair fanning out underneath me as I shook my head again, "stupid."

* * *

The banquet was held in the ballroom of the most luxurious hotel in town; when a higher up retired, the firm splurged on the festivities. The hotel was quiet, an aging man greeting us in the reception, but no guests running around. It wasn't until you entered the hallway leading up to the ballroom that you heard the people inside, the chatter getting louder with each step I took closer.

My mom had on a dark dress with a trail dragging after her, the front was a lot shorter, only ending at her knees. She was beside my dad, locking arms as they walked down the hallway, even though they hadn't spoken a word to each other the entire day.

The ballroom was huge. The walls were white with huge windows looking out over our little town, and the ceiling was high. There were at least twenty round tables scattered all throughout the room with ten chairs at each. The right hand wall of the room was free from tables, however, and in their place stood a small stage with a ten-man-orchestra on it. The band was already playing their instruments, filling the room with light, classical music that tried hard to not overpower the different conversations going on.

"Mr. Cadenas", a voice announced, breaking me away from my scanning of the room.

"Ah", my dad said and shook hands with the tall man that had approached us, "Mr. Leahy." He looked about the same age as my dad, not more than five years older, but the graying of his hair and the deep set dark circles under his eyes aged his appearance severely. Behind Mr. Leahy stood a much older man, presumably in his late 60's already, and my dad turned his attention to him."You've met my wife, Jane", my dad said and gestured to my mom who held out her hand to the older man in front of us, "and this", he said and inquired me, "is my lovely daughter, Courtney."

"It is great to meet you", I said and shook his hand, "Mr. Uh-"

"Mr. Callahan", the man finished my sentence with a polite smile and a firm shake.

"Callahan", I repeated before letting go of his hand.

"Quite the grip you've got there, Courtney", Mr. Callahan said before continuing with a chuckle, "With strong hands like that you can get far in the business world."

"I plan to", I answered with a smile. Mr. Callahan then led my dad and Mr. Leahy away from the doorway, away to a group of five other men in suits, leaving me and my mom standing alone.

"Good first impression", she said and turned to me, "they are very important in the real world." The compliment made me smile, but as she added on to the sentence I felt the corners of my mouth drop. I hated that expression; 'the real world'. Like everything before the age of twenty was imaginary.

"I'm going to find our table", I said in response, knowing beforehand that an event this size would certainly have a seating arrangement. As I walked along the tables, carefully running my fingers along the backs of the chairs I passed as I read the placement cards, a wave of long, raven hair caught my eye. Heather was standing with what looked like her parents, chatting away with an older man I knew worked at the same company as my dad. She was laughing every so often, laying a hand to her chest or covering her mouth politely as the man kept talking.

I slowly made my way over to the quartet, trying to inconspicuously catch Heather's attention. Her eyes flicked over to me and she laid a hand on the older man's upper arm, cutting him off mid-sentence. "Please excuse me for a moment."

I stood near one of the still-empty tables, my arms crossed lazily, maintaining my relaxed composure I had had before I spotted Heather. "I thought you said you wouldn't be here", I said as she came up next to me, a smile still on her lips.

"If I want people to believe you, I had to at least make an appearance", Heather explained with a shrug. Her reasoning was logic and I slapped myself mentally for not figuring it out myself. "Love your dress by the way." The comment - or compliment - was said with genuinity and shock and it confused me even more.

"So", I said and let out a breath, "care to tell me where you are sneaking off to?"

"Not that it is any of your business", Heather answered, punctuating the last word through her teeth, "but I'm going on a date."

"And you couldn't have just told you parents that instead of lying to them? Instead of making _me_ lie to them?" Even though they were conservative and, obviously - since they were here -, knew the importance of knowing the right people and making good, strong connections early on in life, they surely would've understood that their teenage daughter wanted to spend a few hours doing teenage stuff with another teenager.

"You're the one to talk", she scoffed, crossing her arms as I let my fall down my sides. "You're lying to everyone at school", she pointed out, "including yourself."

"Really?" I sighed, furrowing my brows as I spoke, "Can't we just have one interaction that is mildly enjoyable and without threats?"

Heather bit her bottom lip as she thought about it. "Fine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bartender to chat up before I leave." She waved at me with her fingers as she left toward the bar. I didn't even bother to stop and tell her that every drink served tonight would be non-alcoholic; they always were at events such as this.

"You two know each other?" The man who I assumed was Heather's father stood next to me, a drink in hand.

"We go to the same school", I nodded and looked at him. He was not very tall, but had sharp, strong features that transformed his otherwise ordinary frame to a handsome one. He shared the shape of his nose and the color of his hair with his daughter. His eyes, however, were more narrow.

"She mentioned something like that", the man said quietly, more to himself than to me. We both watched as Heather leaned her elbows on the countertop, crossing her legs at the ankles, as she talked to the young guy behind the bar.

"I'm Courtney." I offered out my hand for him to shake, subconsciously hoping Mr. Callahan hadn't lied about my handshake.

"Mr. Phan", he replied and shook my hand and I noticed the slight curve of his lips and the glint in his eyes that showed pride and acknowledgement. "So who do you know at this gathering?"

"My daddy works for the firm", I answered with a smile, searching the room to point him out, "he's over by the stage."

"There you are, Courtney." My head snapped to the side, coming face to face with my mom. Her sudden appearance made me jump a bit, making me bite down on my tongue. "I found our table." I eyed the room once again, more and more people had taken a seat at the tables and ten waiters had slipped through the door leading to the kitchen, standing near the wall, waiting for a signal to bring out the food.

"It was nice to meet you, Mr. Phan", I said with a single nodd of my head before letting myself get dragged away by my mother; her gripping my wrist.

Before we got to the table, however, I saw another familiar face. His hair was different, dark and messily styled, and his usual body jewellry was taken out. He stood near the doorway, hands in the pockets of his black pants. It wasn't a suit nor a tuxedo, but it was more dressed up than I had ever imagined seeing him; a black dress jacket, matching his pants, and a light t-shirt.

"Excuse me", I said and pulled my arm gently from my mom's grip, "I have to- uh- excuse me." She eyed me curiously but let me wander off.

I headed toward the hallway and, as I passed the doorway, I gripped his hand and pulled him with me. We walked in silence as the chatter and music from the ballroom got lower with each step we took.

As we rounded the corner, out of sight of the other party guests, I stopped and turned to him. "What are you doing here?" My voice was low, as if making sure no one overheard us, and a mix of relief, frustration and genuine shock. It was stupid of him to show up, but the thought that he had done it for me warmed my heart and made my stomach flutter. "And what happened to your hair?" The neon green had been replaced with an almost natural black and the mohawk had been combed down; his hair reached to his jaw when it was down like this.

"Colored hairspray", Duncan smiled proudly and looked up, like he would be able to see the new color atop of his head. "Thought the green wouldn't be too popular."

"What are you doing here?" I repeated, a warm expression on my face as I started to understand the sudden change in style; he didn't want to make a bad impression, he didn't want to make me look bad.

"Couldn't not take the opportunity to see you in this." Duncan lifted a hand and put it on my waist, rubbing the thin fabric between his fingers with a satisfied expression. I felt myself ease into his hold and the warmth within me only increasing as our gazes met. "You said you didn't want to come", he answered truthfully with a slight shrug, "I wanted to, I don't know, keep your mind occupied from all the shit."

"That is so sweet", I said and lifted a hand to cup his cheek, stroking his skin lightly with my thumb. "And may I say you clean up nicely."

"Whatever", Duncan scoffed and rolled his eyes, though a smile broke through as he settled his gaze onto me once more. I did a quick look around before leaning in and letting our lips meet. Both his hands came to rest at the small of my back, pressing me closer to him. I could feel his heartbeat as he pressed our chests tightly together and the scent of lavender swirled their way into my nose.

"Later", I said as I broke the kiss, a big smile on my lips as I silently promised him more. It had been long since we'd done anything other than kiss and I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as his eyes glinted with excitement.


	21. The danger of sneaking out

**A/N: I know I said I was getting this chapter out before the end of the year, but hey, school hasn't started yet so I still count it. In this chapter we get to see a glimpse of the peanut butter stealing camper we all love and some smut towards the end.  
**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

After a big toast from the owner, honoring the retired man, and two smaller toasts, we were two thirds in to the meals. Duncan and I had walked back into the ballroom together, near enough to feel the presence of the other, the backs of our hands brushing against each other.

Luckily for us, one of the seats at our table was empty - something about a sick wife -, providing Duncan with a place to sit near people he knew; well, _the person_ he knew.

We had politely asked if anyone objected his presence or if he was free to enjoy the food like the rest of the guests. My mom had glanced at us with a deep frown, curious as to who this newcomer really was.

I don't know if Heather had noticed the transformed punk now occupying the chair next to me, her attention seemed to be stuck on checking the time and ordering new drinks from the poor, young guy at the bar.

Her parents sat three tables away from us, throwing an eye on their daughter every now and then, and I thanked the universe for not assigning her family to the same table as mine. I knew that if I'd had to lie my way through the entire night I would've cracked, and therefor crumbling any chances the company had with getting Mr. Phan as an investor; and the more than likely scenario of enduring jabs from Heather would only have increased that possibility.

She managed to slip out before the appetizer was brought out, however, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I watched her slender frame disappear around the corner.

The banquet was long and boring, it dragged out more than I thought it would. Duncan would occasionally lean in, his hand on my thigh, and whisper blunt comments about the other guests that made me chuckle - and even choke on my water once.

The conversations around the table had drifted from the off-key cello being played on stage to checking out potential investors, and practicing reeling them in, to talks about studies and work. I had been asked about my debate teams recent win and what university I had set my eyes on. Duncan was also prodded about his life with similar school-centered questions as I had gotten. It wasn't until he told the occupants vague plans about going in to the family business that they left him alone. I had held his hand laying in his lap, stroking my thumb over his skin comfortingly as the questions struck sensitive nerves within him.

"So", I hummed, stretching out the word until Duncan turned to look at me. My parents were deep in conversation with three of the occupants about the most interesting cases they've ever had and I made sure my voice was low enough for the other three not to hear. "You want to be a cop?"

Duncan chuckled and shook his head. "No, my uncle's a mechanic. I worked for him this summer and, well", he shrugged, "I was quite good."

"I bet you were", I said with a smile. What with how affectionate he was with his motorcycle I had no problem imagining him fixing everything on it himself. "But I thought your 'family business' was law enforcement." Both his parents were cops, his oldest brother training to be one, and even his aunt and some of his cousins worked at different stations across the state.

"Uncles are part of family too", Duncan mused and nudged my shoulder with his, making a giggle escape my lips. "Besides, he offered me a job after graduation", he continued, more serious than before, and it left me confused and speechless.

I knew that Duncan had so many skills. Skills he could interpret into making something with meaning rather than breaking rules; and I had always thought he would follow DJ or Geoff to study something artistic. When we had music class together a few years ago, Duncan had outshone everyone when playing the guitar, and his notebooks were all full of sketches; don't mind you that it's mostly skulls and daggers and flames.

Before I could answer, however, I was cut off by the clinking of a glass indicating a fourth speech and everyone cheered as the retiree stepped up onto the stage. "I want to start with thanking all of you for coming", he started, speaking too close to the microphone.

"Hey", Duncan whispered, his breath hitting the sensitive skin right underneath my ear, "come home with me tonight." His hand was on my thigh, slowly running up and down, and I could feel the hairs at the back of my neck stand up.

"I can't", I whispered back, leaning my head against his shoulder. Everyone else at our table had their focus turned to the stage, no one even noticed our display of affection and it made me relax.

"Why not?" he all but whined and I couldn't contain the giggle rising in my chest. Having the hardened, 'tough guy' Duncan whine when faced with the fact that I would not be spending the night with him was flattering, but oh so amusing.

"My parents will notice if I don't come home." Duncan's hand rose higher on my thigh, his thumb massaging my skin through the thin fabric.

"So go home with them and then sneak out with me", he said with a shrug, like the proposition wasn't a big deal, like it was something we'd done a hundred times before.

"I-I-I can't just sneak out." I rose my head from his shoulder to look at him and as my eyes met his I saw the deep want and lust in them, and knowing his plans for the night made it that much harder to decline the offer. I bit my lip and furrowed my brows as I listed all the ways it could go wrong, and all the ways it could oh so right.

The guests in the ballroom burst out in applause as the toast ended and the retiree declared the banquet over. My parents were already putting on their coats and pushing the chairs back in under the table.

"Say goodbye to your friend now, it's time to leave", my dad said and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him with a smile, nodding an 'okay'. "I'm going to get the car from the valet." And with that he locked arms with my mom and exited the ballroom. Many of the guests had already left or were in the process of leaving.

I turned back to Duncan, taking his hand in mine, "Maybe."

"I'll take it", he answered with a smirk and squeezed my hand before pressing a soft kiss to my lips. He tasted sweet, like the drinks being served, and I whimpered into his mouth as I felt my own lust rise.

I reluctantly pulled away and I could feel a smile form on my lips as our eyes met once more. "I have to go", I said and kissed his cheek before standing up from my seat.

The ride home was quiet, awkward. You could feel the unasked questions hang in the air along with the accusations. And when we got home they let me go to bed without trouble, even though we were all well aware of their curiosity.

I turned my stereo on, letting the low music fill the air in my bedroom, as I flung myself backwards onto my bed. I could feel my chest bubble with excitement at the idea of sneaking out. It was a new feeling, though not an unwelcome one. The possible repercussions of getting caught only made my adrenaline pump harder and the thought that we could get away with it almost made me burst at the seams.

I stood up abruptly from my bed, walking over to the window to see if Duncan really was serious in his offer to sneak me out for the first time. I saw him almost immediately in the light from the streetlamp on the other side of the road a few houses down; far enough away for my parents to not notice an unaccustomed vehicle near their home. He was leaning against his motorcycle, smoking a cigarette and forming rings out of the smoke as he waited.

I don't know if he saw me, in particular, but his face was turned to my house and I took a chance that he would see me wave. And when he waved back with a big smile on his lips, I knew; I no longer treaded back and forth between the alternatives.

I held up my finger, signaling for him to wait a few minutes, before turning around to my room. My backpack stood at the end of my bed and I shoved some clothes into, wanting - and needing - a change of clothes for tomorrow. I snook my toothbrush out of the bathroom and packed it in the bag along with the charger for my phone; if I was to get caught, I atleast needed a way of communicating my excuses.

I let the last song on the stereo play out before turning it off completely and exiting my house as quietly as possible.

"Wow", Duncan said as I came into view, sounding flabbergasted.

"What?" I asked, looking down at the red fabric that was still wrapped around my figure. "You've already seen it."

"It's even hotter on you when you break the rules in it", he said through his teeth, like a low growl, grabbing the small of my back to press me close to him. I giggled as he took one last drag from his cigarette and descended my lips onto his before he could breathe out the smoke. "Well, well, well", he said once we parted and I exhaled the smoke I'd gathered during the kiss, "aren't you a bad girl tonight."

"Should I stop?" I asked with an over exaggerated pout, knowing very well that he enjoyed this new feeling - and what it did to me - just as much as I did.

"God no", Duncan chuckled and kissed me again. The sweet taste from before was still present but it stood no chance to the overpowering nicotine.

I heard him flick the cigarette away before taking his now free hand to hold the back of my neck, letting his fingers wove themselves through the locks of my hair and before I could react I was pressed against the motorcycle. I scraped my nails up his back as he leaned his head down to plant kisses along my collarbone.

"Am I finally going to see your room?" I asked breathlessly.

"Patience, honey", he answered, biting down on my skin before laying a softening kiss on it, "patience."

"I can't have patience when you - oh - when you do that." I felt Duncan's lips curl up in a smirk as I writhed underneath him and if it wasn't for the pleasure I felt thanks to him I would've smacked the back of his head for gloating.

"Okay", Duncan said and kissed my lips one last time, smacking my butt as he let me go, "let's go."

* * *

I had seen Duncan's house before, having played in the garden together as kids, but I couldn't recall ever stepping a foot inside. I remember his backyard had a swing and a tree perfect for climbing in and a glassdoor leading straight to the kitchen, but as we sneaked quietly through it I noticed the drastic difference a few years could make. The swingset had been replaced with an outdoor dining table, a parasol stuck in a hole in the middle of it, and a few rose bushes were planted along the high, wooden fence. The tree was still there, but it had grown a lot since I last saw it; I remembered as a kid I could just barely reach the first few branches, and now, ten years later and at least half a meter taller, the lowest hanging branch was still out of my reach.

"It's the first door on the left", Duncan whispered as he shut the glassdoor behind us, pointing at one of the two ways out of the kitchen.

"Wait", I said, grabbing the hem of his shirt jacket as he passed me, "where are you going?"

"I'll be right in, don't worry." He slipped easily through my grip and I watched nervously as he rounded the corner out of the kitchen. If someone walked in here they wouldn't open up a conversation and ask why I was there; this was a household of police men that all knew how to defend themselves against an alleged burglar.

I shook my head before my thoughts could spiral any further and walked quietly away from the door, in the direction of his vague instructions. The kitchen opened up in a small corridor with three doors, and even with the knowledge of which door was Duncan's it was hard to miss. A big 'keep out' sign was hung on the door and I recognised the doodles on the wood from his notebook.

"Where have you been?" I froze instantly at the stern, harsh voice, not knowing who had spoken or to whom the question was directed.

"Out with a friend", I heard Duncan reply and I realised he must've gone to talk to his father. Even though I knew I was in the clear - for now - I couldn't convince my body to move.

"At this hour? Do you have any idea how worried your mother and Max have been?"

"Ma, huh?" Duncan questioned, noticing how his father had left himself off of the short list.

"I let you back into my home and this is how you honor it, by skipping dinner and coming home at unearthly hours", the stern voice continued, as if Duncan had not spoken.

"I said I was with a friend."

"Yeah, like I haven't heard that one before."

"I forgot the time", Duncan tried again. You could hear the pleading in his voice, the fear of being kicked out again, and I couldn't help but feel guilty. If it wasn't for the banquet, if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have been yelled at.

"Uh huh", his dad sighed, "get out of my sight." I snapped out of the paralysation and swiftly opened the door to Duncan's room. It wasn't too big, but enough room for the essentials; a double bed, a desk, a bookcase full of anything but books, and even an electric guitar and amplifiers to go with it. I could imagine Duncan sitting on his bed, playing on the guitar and humming along and the image made me smile.

I plopped my backpack near the end of the bed and sat down on it. It was soft and the cover felt fluffy, I imagined it would feel like sleeping on a cloud.

I looked up as Duncan walked in to the room, sitting beside me on the bed. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, walking on my knees to come and sit behind him, holding him comfortingly and leaning my head on his shoulder.

"No", he sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "Yes. I don't know."

"Is he always like that? Angry, I mean."

"Most of the time", Duncan answered and I got mad just thinking about it. Even with Duncan's disregard for authority and law, he wasn't a bad person, he deserved better than to feel bad about himself. But I knew that sympathy was the one thing he needed right now, not someone to fight for him.

"That must be tough", I whispered, the atmosphere of the room feeling more like a library or a doctor's office than a free space.

Duncan shrugged, but didn't answer.

"My parents are passive aggressive, using every petty way they have of pissing the other person off", I said, rubbing his arms, trying my best to calm and comfort him. "But I guess that beats aggressive aggressive." It was more of a thought for myself, but the words escaped my mouth before I could stop them.

"Did you just swear?" Duncan asked, quirking his head to the side to look at me and raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"What? No", I insisted, shaking my head. "Piss off is not cursing."

"I have defiled the pure princess", he mocked, throwing his hands up in the air like begging God for forgiveness.

"Oh, shut up", I said and pushed him, but he used the momentum of the shove to swing back, tackling me down on the mattress. I could feel my heart beat hard against my chest in anticipation.

"Do it again." Duncan's eyes gleamed with excitement and pride, making me smile wide.

"Fuck you."

"Fuck me?" He raised one brow as he inched his face closer to mine, our breaths mixing and our hearts beating in rhythm. The previous tension that had occupied the room had been replaced with lightheartedness and excitement.

"Yes, fuck you", I laughed and bit my lip in anticipation.

"Okay", he laughed back and kissed me deeply while letting his hands roam up my body. The skirt of my dress had rode high up on my thighs and the material of his pants rubbed against my skin.

I let my own hands get tangled in his hair, feeling the stiff locks created by the hairspray, moving my body in rhythm with his. The nights buildup was paying out as we both moaned into each others mouths, laughing following soon after.

Duncan let his hands drag my dress even further up as he dipped his head down to kiss my collarbones, leaving purple marks at the most sensitive spots before he kept going lower. He kissed his way down to my thighs and I had to suppress a scream when he bit my skin. He grinned up at me before pushing the fabric aside and dragging his tongue across my core, making me melt into the bed.

"Mm", I let out with a smile, closing my eyes as Duncan's tongue worked its way over any and every sensitive spot while his hands wandered up my body, gripping my hips, caressing my stomach, massaging my breasts. He let two fingers inside, prodding and curling to find the right spot that made me writhe in the bed, throwing my head side to side and arching my back. His other hand came up to lay over my mouth, muffling my sounds as I felt myself getting closer and closer to release.

Duncan took my underwear off with a proud smile as I basked in the afterglow of his treatment, running my fingers through his hair and biting my lip. He let his hands glide over my skin, gathering the dress as he went, before pulling it over my head and throwing it to the floor.

He opened his mouth to say something but I crashed my lips on his before he could. I dragged my nails down his back before coming back around, pushing the jacket off of his shoulders. I could feel him smile against my lips as I put my hands under his shirt, spreading my fingers on his stomach, following the lines of his muscles.

I grabbed the hem and pulled the shirt up over his head, only breaking our kiss to let the fabric pass between us before continuing it again. He was warm and smooth and it felt familiar and I wanted - needed - to feel more.

"I want you", I murmured against his lips.

"Who's stopping you?" Duncan said back, his hands on the small of my back as I straddled him, and it was all I needed to hear. I let my mouth wander down his jawline, down his neck, kissing, sucking and licking the spots I knew would make him crumble underneath me, while I unbuttoned his pants.

We both moaned as I slid his pants down, rubbing myself on the bulge in his boxers. I could feel the warmth coming from him and it only made my own arousal grow.

Duncan flipped me over, steadying himself between my legs as he kicked away both his pants and underwear to the floor and when his eyes met mine I smiled, caressing his cheek with my hand.

"You are so beautiful", I whispered, planting a soft kiss on his cheek, opposite my hand.

"You too", he said back, letting his fingers play with my hair.

In that moment, everything else faded away. Every thought of Heather, school, the debate club, my home life, his home life; it all faded away.

We both gasped and moaned as he entered me and we rocked back and forth to the beating of our hearts, kissing each other as my hands gripped his back in pleasure and his the sheets of the bed. Duncan and I had had sex many times before. But that night was the first time we made love.


	22. The danger of Halloween invites

**A/N: I'm back y'all! Sorry for the like super delayed update, I got some new meds and I've been completely off for the past couple of weeks; not to mention I'm in my last semester of school so it's really stressful with preperations for graduation and shit. BUT to compensate all that this chapter is longer and more dramatic and more exposing.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

It was a beautiful morning when I woke up. The sun was still low on the sky and frost had settled on the ground during the night; the first one of the year, and just in time for halloween.

I sat up in the bed, holding the cover close to my chest, as I carefully touched the condensation that had formed on the window. It was cold and wet and it gave me a spectacular idea.

Turning to face Duncan, I let the same finger I touched the window with touch him, dragging it slowly up from his bellybutton to in between his pecs. He hissed in his sleep and I had to bite my lip so suppress a chuckle. I pressed my hand to the window before slowly placing it on the side of his neck, causing him to wake up and wave my arm away.

"What the hell, woman?" he hissed, touching his neck in confusion.

"There's frost outside", I smiled, shrugging away his questioning and accusing look.

"So you had to go and make me suffer?" He was still holding his hand close to his neck, still in awe at the sudden start of his morning.

"Isn't that what I do?" I asked sultry, leaning down with my hands on his chest, our lips, oh, so very close. Something about last night had awakened something inside me. Something that found excitement in the risks we'd taken and joy in knowing the power I had over the man laying underneath me.

"You do", Duncan sighed and looked me in the eyes, "but not without a fight." Quickly he swung us around, pinning me back under him and holding my wrists by the sides my head, making me giggle. I hummed in content as his lips met mine, easily slipping my hands out of his grip to entangle them in his hair.

But before we got any further, the door swung open.

"Hey bro-ho-ho-ho", Jonas said, breaking into a nervous - and almost proud - laughter as he spotted Duncan and I on the bed.

"Shit."

"Damn it." I crawled out from underneath Duncan, holding the covers close to my chest in an effort to conceal myself the best I could.

"So", Jonas sneered and leaned against the doorframe, "this is the mystery chick?"

"What? You've been talking about me?" I blurted out in confusion, looking at Duncan with furrowed brows.

"Just close the door", he said instead of answering me, directing the command at his brother.

"Wait?" Jonas cocked his head to the side and pointed at me, "aren't you Courtney?" I looked between the two brothers before nodding slowly, unsure of where this was going and more mortified than I had ever imagined I could be. "Oh, man", Jonas laughed, "this just got way better."

"I said close the door, man", Duncan repeated, louder and with less patience. The second the door clicked shut he shot up from the bed and marched over to lock it, mumbling to himself about why he hadn't done it last night. He sat down on the edge of the bed and I came up behind him, wrapping my arms, and the cover, around him.

"So you've been talking about me?" I teased, popping my head into his peripheral vision by leaning my cheek onto his shoulder.

"Oh, shut up", Duncan defended with a laugh and bumped me with his elbow. His laugh was beautiful, just like him, it was a deep, guttural laugh and the skin around his eyes crinkled as he smiled widely.

"I should go though", I sighed, "before my parents notice I'm gone."

"Yeah, I know", he nodded and kissed me sweetly before I stood up from his bed, stealing back the covers, "but hey, don't worry about Jonas. I've kept his overnight guests a secret so he'll do the same for me."

I smacked my lips together as his words relieved some of the anxiousness I felt. Being with Duncan got easier and easier by the second and even though we had cleared up a lot of things, I was still scared of the truth getting out. No matter what I felt for him. "Okay."

* * *

Sneaking out of the house was a lot harder than sneaking into it. Both Max and Jonas were sitting at the table in the kitchen, with their mother watching tv in the livingroom, only around the corner. But thanks to Duncan's more or less obvious distraction - and Jonas's unspoken promise to not rat his brother out - I managed to sneak out through the kitchen door.

I opened and closed the front door to my house as quietly as I could, not knowing who would be up; if anyone was. I breathed a sigh of relief as I dropped my backpack by the, now closed, door and leaned back against the wall. With small, tip-toeing steps I started to make my way back to my room.

"Hello, Courtney." It was my father's voice, and even though I tensed up at the thought of having been caught, his tone was anything but angry and disappointed. I walked into the living room, he sat with his legs crossed on the couch, reading this morning's paper.

"Good morning, daddy", I said, in hope that he was only making small talk and unaware of my adventures.

"Were you just at the door?" He looked up from the newspaper as he spoke, scrunching his eyebrows together in thought and wonder.

"Oh, erm, I just went out with the trash."

"Hm, okay" he shrugged before looking back down at the paper in his hands. I sometimes wished he was harder to fool; that he cared more. "You want breakfast?"

"Is there any?" I was genuinely surprised. Normally it was every man, and woman, to themselves when it came to breakfast and I usually settled with an apple on my way to school.

"Your mother's making some." He shrugged again before straightening out the paper with a firm shake, signaling the end of the conversation whether I liked it or not.

As I doubled back into the foyer I could hear the clatter of pans and pots coming from the kitchen. Sure enough, mom was making breakfast. As if my life hadn't already gotten turned upside down, thanks to Duncan, now she too had to go and make a complete 180.

"Buenos días, mija", she smiled as she saw me stand in the doorframe, confused, with my head cocked to the side. "Eggs and bacon?"

"Uh, yes", I answered, trying to shake the confusion as I moved over to the kitchen table to sit in one of the chairs. Three plates with accompanying glasses and cutleries were already set out, with a glass jar in the middle, full of orange juice that smelled deliciously newly pressed. "Thank you." She came to set down a fourth plate in front of me and the room filled with the smell of something burning.

"Damn." She scurried back to the stove and quickly scraped the bacon from the pan onto a serving tray. "It's still eatable", she said, mostly to herself, "I think."

Even though my mom knew how to cook, and would often be the one serving dinner, breakfast was not her thing. She seldomly came out of the bedroom until noon, and even then she would only make coffee and not talk to anyone before the caffeine had properly enlivened her.

"Is something going on?" I asked as she cracked four eggs into the pan.

"Can't a mother make breakfast for her family?" She answered without looking back at me, seasoning the eggs in the pan as she scrambled them.

"Yes she can, but you usually don't."

"Courtney", my mom snapped and turned around, spatula in hand, "do _not_ be a smart mouth." She turned back around before continuing. "But if you must know, Kiki is getting her divorce finalised and she need the support of her girlfriends."

"So you're going away and this is a 'last meal' kind of thing?" I asked snidely and rolled my eyes. Of course there was a hidden meaning behind this breakfast. It was a peace offering of sorts. She knew she was gone too much and, even though it always ended with her leaving, she felt bad about it deep down.

"Why do you always have to be so dramatic? I'm only going to be gone a week or two." She scraped the scrambled eggs onto the same serving tray the bacon was on before putting the pan in the sink, letting it soak.

"What about Will?" I asked as I poured myself a glass of orange juice, my mom walking over to the table to put down the tray of food.

"What about him?" I raised my eyebrows as I dipped my head and eyed her accusingly. Will was still too young to be left home alone, and with me studying and dad working, mom was the only one that was able to look after him in the afternoons. With her gone, Will would grow scared and agitated in the big house by himself. My mom sighed as I still glared at her. "We'll hire a nanny or I'll drop him off at my cousin's."

"Drop who off?" My dad threw the folded newspaper on the table before taking a seat across from me.

"Will", I answered bluntly before my mom could come up with a way to sugarcoat her leaving again.

"Speaking of", she said and cleared her throat, "care to go get your brother, mija?" I knew from the look on my dad's face that he wanted to question her going away, and from her stance I knew she wasn't going to back down, and sending me upstairs was the quickest way of ridding me so they could speak their minds freely.

I knocked on Will's door, not stopping to wait for an answer before pushing it open. "Mom made breakfast", I said as I crossed the floor, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"Breakfast?" Will questioned, looking at me from where he sat cross-legged on the floor.

"Yeah", I nodded slowly, "she's going away for a while."

"Where?" He looked back down to the intricate vehicle he was building out of Lego, only about half of it was done and the manual laid open on the floor in front of him.

"To Kiki."

"I like Kiki", Will answered fast, with a big smile on his face.

"Of course you do", I laughed, remembering how the woman always had cake or candy to offer him whenever they met. The muffled voices of our parents reached Will's room and I cringed at the anger they contained. At least when one of them wasn't home, they didn't fight audibly.

* * *

It wasn't until half an hour later that their voices dialed down and I led Will down to the kitchen. The bacon had grown cold and the scrambled eggs mushy, but at least the orange juice was still fine. I chugged the first glass without thought and chewed slowly on the same piece of bacon for too long. My dad brewed some coffee, completely disregarding the cooked breakfast, and stalked out of the kitchen as soon as the last drop hit the surface of the dark liquid.

The conversation around the kitchen table was stiff, but informational. Will decided against a nanny or babysitter, knowing it would be a stranger of our mom's choosing. And with my dad as irritated as he was, it was looking like I had another weekend alone in front of me. Well, maybe not _alone_ alone.

The thought of spending a few days without having to pretend and keep up the facade we had built over the years warmed my body and made me smile. Letting our fingers dance across the others skin, kiss each other whenever we felt like it, laugh about our lives and talk freely about anything and everything. Even though the secrecy added an element of excitement into our relationship, I still longed for the moments where we could thoroughly enjoy it.

I downed another glass of orange juice before excusing myself from the table. My fingers worked as if with a mind of their own, swiftly punching in the right digits to Duncan's number, and I plopped down on my bed as the call signal rang through the phone.

"Guess what", I said excitedly as soon as I heard the answering click.

"Is it something interesting?" Duncan asked on the other end, his voice was low and husky, like he had just woken up.

"Yes", I answered and rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the warming feeling in between my legs that his scratchy voice caused.

"Okay then, what?" he chuckled.

"I'll probably have the house to myself this weekend."

"You're right, that _is_ interesting."

"I knew you'd think that", I said, a big smile on my lips. It was a smile that lasted the day through, even with the stale atmosphere in the house as my mom packed a suitcase to last a week or two. It wasn't until the next day that it faded.

All five of us were sitting at a round table in the school cafeteria, picking at the food more than eating it while we talked, when Heather approached us; her cheerleading minions in tow.

"As you may know, it's Halloween on Saturday", she said, looking down her nose at us. The cheerleaders behind her stepped forward, a stack of paper in their hands. "I'm throwing a little get together at my place. Costume mandatory." As Heather spoke her friends handed out the papers to each one of us; invitations with date and time, big letters reminding about the dress code.

"Cool", Geoff nodded in approval, a lopsided smile on his face.

"It's a great opportunity to bring a date", Heather smirked, emphasizing the last word as she glanced at me out of the corner of her eyes, before walking away.

"Okay", Geoff interrupted, slapping his hands together in excitement and a big smile on his face, "Who's in?"

"I don't see why not", Bridgette shrugged.

"DJ?" Geoff asked.

"I don't know", he dragged out the words and pressed his lips together in thought.

"Come on", Geoff egged on.

"Okay, fine", DJ said after a few more seconds of Geoff staring at him with glee and anticipation. "If only to keep an eye on you", he added and waggled his fingers towards Geoff, "I don't like that look in your eyes."

"Duncan?" Geoff asked, ignoring DJ's promise of babysitting. "You can bring your hot mystery girl." He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked, already knowing Duncan's answer.

"Definitely." Geoff's finger wandered from the green haired boy sitting beside me to me.

"Are you in, Court?"

"Yeah, babe. You gonna be there?" Duncan smirked, casually slipping in the pet name that once used to hold so little meaning but now warmed my body with affection. I remembered when he would call even Bridgette 'babe', though that had stopped abruptly when Geoff got together with her. I now understood why. If someone would've talked to Duncan the way he talked to me, I would've kicked them.

"I don't know", I shrugged and my face scrunched up in thought, an unusual whining noise pierced my tone as I mowed it over in my mind.

"Come on, honey, it'll be fun", Duncan pushed. 'Honey' was a word I later realised Bridgette had picked up on. Even though he had uttered it in my direction numerous times before - in the darkness of the night when we laid spent in the messy bed, on the phone when my mind had drifted away from the conversation to grab my attention again - he had never done it when surrounded by our friends. I, however, had grown used to the pet name, not giving it a second thought when the word slipped out of his mouth.

"You always say that and it usually never is", I tilted my head to look at him, a smirk played on his lips as he dropped his hand to brush my thigh under the table.

"Exactly", he lit up, "usually."

"Ugh", was the only answer escaping my lips as I rolled my eyes and turned back to face the others. My eyes interlocked with Bridgette's as I was about to agree to the party, but her mouth hung open and her eyes had grown wide and I realised she had figured it out. "Uhm, Bridg", I started, not breaking eye contact, "I just remembered you left your book in my locker. Let's go get it." The last four words were emphasized by the quick jerk of my head in the direction of the exit.

"What?" She looked confused for a second and tilted her head in wonder. "Oh right. That's where I left it. My. Book."

"Yes", I squeezed out in frustration between my teeth. I loved Bridgette, of course I did, but prompts like these would more often than not go right over her head. "So let's go." I jerked my head again, causing a disturbed look from DJ. Knowing his intuition - and his suspicions surrounding Duncan and I - I knew he wasn't too far from finding out the truth too.

We walked out of the cafeteria, leaving our trays behind, and I hurried all the way to our lockers, making sure to put as much space between us and the guys and whatever nosy ears may snap up our conversation.

"It's not what you think", I said in a panicked voice, trying hard to convince and assure her.

"Then what is it?" Bridgette raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked at me, unconvinced, and I knew she had a hard time even imagining our unlikely coupling.

"It's nothing", I tried once more, sounding even less convincing than the first time.

"He called you babe."

"So? He calls everyone that."

"He called you honey", she lowered her voice as two scrawny looking tenth graders walked by with looks of interest plastered across their faces. I didn't reply, my gaze kept firm on the slight swaying of my right foot. "Oh my god", she gasped, bringing one hand to cover her mouth, "are you in love with him?" The question shocked me and I snapped my head back up to meet her gaze.

"What-no-that's not even-why would you-no." I shook my head frantically, my eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. "We're just, I don't know", I sighed, "hanging out I guess."

"You mean dating?" A knowing smile had crept its way onto Bridgette's lips as she looked at me with a gleeful glint in her eyes.

"No", I shook my head again, "we've never-okay-we've been on like one date. Breakfast."

"Wait." It was her time now to shake her head, though in confusion more than anything. "Breakfast? So you mean he wasn't exaggerating when he bragged about spending nights together? And the hickeys, oh my god!"

"Would you be quiet?" I whispered forcefully as students passed us by, staring in confusion and jumping in fright at Bridgette's squealing.

"You're in looove", she said in a sing songy voice while smiling, almost bouncing in place with sympathetic rejoicement.

"Are you done?" I crossed my arms.

"No", Bridgette sung again before throwing her arms around my neck in a hug, "now I am." And as I hugged her back I couldn't help but smile myself.


	23. The danger of not going public

**A/N: I'm sorry. Both for the wait and for this chapter. Y'all knew the angst was coming.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

Bridgette had been confused at first, saying "why not officially date if you both like each other?", but nodded along as I - finally - let everything spill. I told her about how it first happened, about the newfound thrill I felt whenever I got on his motorcycle, about Jonas's interruption - she had a good laugh at that one - and about Heather's threats and attempts at humiliation. I pressed the issue of the latter, telling her to please not tell anyone, not even Geoff, and Bridgette mimicked zipping up her lips and throwing away the key.

I knew it was just a matter of time, however, until she slipped up and accidently let her boyfriend in on the secret; and when Geoff knew something it didn't take long for it to travel around the school. Though I hoped I would've found a way to deal with Heather by then.

"Hey, babe", Geoff said as Bridgette threw away the imaginary key; the gesture of the latter earning a confused and suspicious look from DJ. Geoff draped an arm around her shoulders as she kissed him hello. "Where's your book?" He asked and pointed to her empty hands.

Bridgette opened her mouth to answer, her eyes darting anywhere but Geoff.

"In her bag", I shrugged, effectively saving her from answering. She smiled at me and mouthed a 'thank you' before relaxing into Geoff's side.

Geoff may've loved gossip and rumours, but he was also gullible; withholding the truth from him didn't take much effort. DJ on the other hand narrowed his eyes at me and I felt myself squirm under his gaze. Maybe it was easy, but lying to our friends felt wrong and the guilt slowly but surely engulfed me.

"Math class starts soon", Bridgette said as she glanced on the clock ticking loudly on the wall above the lockers, "we should get going." She turned to give Geoff another kiss before opening her locker to get the necessary materials.

"I'll catch up with you later, nature calls."

"I'll hold a seat for you", DJ chimed in and clapped me on the back before following Bridgette in through the classroom door.

"You ditching?" Geoff asked Duncan, who had taken to lean against the lockers, bending a foot against the wall to try and look extra passive.

"Don't know yet", he shrugged, "what are we doing?"

"Napoleon", Geoff answered, before unsurely adding, "I think."

"Dude was short and power hungry, got exiled two times. What more is there to know?"

"He actually wasn't short", I said, cutting in on the conversation with a 'know-it-all' tone, hoping to bore Geoff enough to leave us alone, "the french and british measurements clash but still shared the same names, so the british army spread around how short he was when really he was not. And he also surrounded himself with really tall guards."

"Still got exiled", Duncan shrugged and I scoffed as I slapped his chest with the back of my hand.

"That's what you got from that? Not that the history we learn is wrong and corrupted?"

"Cool", Geoff whistled awkwardly, ineffectively hiding his disinterest and discomfort, "I'm gonna go check out this corruption while you two work this out."

"Good job", Duncan nodded, with a smirk on his face, as we both watched Geoff disappear up the stairs. "How about I corrupt you some more?" His voice was low and deep, husky, and he caged me against the lockers with his hands on each side of my shoulders.

"As if you have any influence over me", I moaned and bit down on my lower lip as his mouth descended onto my neck.

"Oh, but I think I do", Duncan snickered against my skin, his hot breath teasing the tender spots above my collarbone, and traced the goosebumps forming on my arm with loose fingers.

"Just shut up and kiss me", I said, grabbing the front of his shirt to pull him against my lips.

* * *

"So", Bridgette leaned towards me as I stuffed my books back into my locker.

"What?" I chuckled and shook my head. Her voice melodically flowing through the air, telling me she was up to something, that she wanted something.

"How is it?" She dropped her voice to a whisper and I couldn't help but to roll my eyes, "You know… you two."

"Bridg-" I shut the locker and turned to her -" is this really what you want to talk about?"

"Yes", she nodded, without skipping a beat. Bridgette had never been big on girl talk, so her sudden interest threw me off. But as I thought back to Geoff's sad attempts to woo her, I realised romance was the one topic she never shied away from.

"You'll start to see him differently."

"Oh my god", she yelped, raising her eyebrows in surprise, her eyes growing big, "is he that good?"

The statement made me visibly cringe and I shook my head as I answered. "See this is why I don't want to talk about it."

"Talk about what?" Geoff said, rounding me with a light pat on the shoulder before bending down to press a kiss to his girlfriend's forehead, draping his arm around her shoulders.

"Oh, erm", my eyes flickered between both of them, Bridgette still sporting a mischievous, almost proud, grin, "homework."

"Since when do _you_ not wanna talk about homework?" Geoff laughed.

"Courtney don't wanna talk homework?" Duncan questioned as he too rounded me the way Geoff had, joining in on the conversation.

"Okay can people stop interrupting our conversation?" I crossed my arms as I shifted my weight, jutting my hip out in slight annoyance.

"And what are you smiling about?" Duncan continued, as if I hadn't spoken, shifting his gaze to look at Bridgette with his head cocked to the side.

"Nothing", she answered with unconvincing innocence plastered on to her voice.

"Well", Geoff interrupted, "time to go. I'll drive you home, babe."

"Okay", Bridgette nodded before waving goodbye to Duncan and I. I watched as the couple descended down the corridor before finally disappearing out the door.

"She knows doesn't she?" Duncan asked as he leaned closer to me, one of his hands coming up to rest against the lockers, effectively caging me against them.

"I don't know what you're talking about", I tried, darting my eyes away from his, my arms still crossed over my chest.

"You know you can't lie to me", he smirked, his free hand cupping my chin, turning my head back until my gaze met his, "I know you like the back of my hand."

I held his gaze steadily and it wasn't until he bit his lower lip, the action betraying his otherwise cool demeanour, that I sighed in defeat, "Fine."

"See", Duncan said, his eyes glinting with deviance and lust that made shivers run up my back and my lips curl in a smirk of their own, "you can't lie to me."

We stood like that for a moment, his hand beside my head and his eyes wandering between my lips and my eyes while I was rocking back and forth on the soles of my feet and rolling my lower lip between my teeth.

"Take me home", I finally said, breaking the silence, and Duncan's eyes lit up from the proposition that hid itself under the request.

* * *

We stumbled into the foyer, hands gripping at each other while our lips and tongues ferociously danced in a way that made us both moan. The motorcycle unceremoniously parked lazily on the edge between the driveway and the lawn, it had no doubt fallen over onto the grass already, and my bag tossed somewhere on the floor.

I pushed Duncan's jacket off of his shoulders, the heavy leather dropping to the floor with a thud, his keys scrambling from the pocket down on the floor. I dragged on the sleeves of my jacket, effectively pulling my arms out before cupping his face in my hands as we continued to kiss. We somehow maneuvered up the stairs and into my room without breaking contact, finally falling down on the bed, causing it to squeak in protest.

Duncan kissed down my neck, my hands still cupping the sides of his face as I moaned in delight, his tongue licking along my jaw, nipping at my skin with his teeth. His mouth traveled lower, dipping his nose in under the fabric of my tank top as he peppered kisses on the exposed skin near the top's edge.

"Just take it off", I whined breathlessly, wanting nothing else in that moment than to feel his skin against mine.

Duncan chuckled, the sound vibrating through my chest as his lips kissed over my heart. I let my hands wander into his hair as his own caressed the sides of my body, slowly - excruciatingly slowly - dipping his fingers under my top. My breath hitched as he kissed down hard on my collarbone, sucking the skin into his mouth, leaving behind a blotch of purple, and his hands grabbed ahold of my top, bunching the fabric up, wrinkling it, as he dragged it over my head.

Before the shirt had even hit the floor he had pulled his own off and a smirk played on his lips as I bit down on my lower lip in anticipation before I pulled him down atop me once more, wrapping my legs around him, just wanting to be closer. His growing arousal pressed against me and a deep moan escaped his lips as I bucked my hips teasingly.

Duncan's fingers were eager as they wandered down my body, caressing my waist before hooking his thumbs down the waistband of my jeans, and his breath hitched as I kept bucking my hips against his.

"Fuck", he murmured, his lips pressing hot kisses against the crock of my neck. My hands roamed through his hair and my nails scraped against his skull as I let the whimpers and moans fall from my mouth as they pleased.

One of his hands dove lower once the buttons on my pants had been undone and his fingers could slip between my folds, dipping the tip of his digit inside and massaging circles into the tender flesh with his thumb.

"Mm", I moaned, my eyes squeezing shut as I arched my back against the mattress.

"Say it", Duncan said as his kisses wandered lower and lower down my body.

"Say what?" I chuckled, the sound halting in my throat as his thumb pressed down on my clit.

"Be my bad girl", he purred and slipped his fingers in further, pressing up against that sweet spot inside, causing butterflies to flutter crazily in my stomach and goosebumps to form along the back of my neck.

"Fuck, Duncan." My hands fisted the sheets and my back arched as he continued to poke and prod.

"That's what I want to hear", he smirked before yanking the jeans away from my body, playing with the fabric of my underwear as I whined for him to continue. He sat up then - and I took the opportunity to undress the last of my clothes -, unbuckling his belt and joining me in the nakedness, kicking the pants and underwear off of him before grabbing me by the thighs and pulling me flush to him.

"God you're stupid", I said and shook my head, planting my feet firmly on the bed, bucking my hips against his again.

"Stupid but handsome", Duncan chuckled, his eyes half lidded as he pressed back against me, his erection slipping between my lips in a way that made me gasp and grab ahold of his arms.

"And cocky too."

"You know you love my cock."

"Oh god", I laughed and covered my face with one hand, and even though I couldn't see him I could still hear - and feel - the bellowing laugh of his joining mine, filling the room with lightheartedness.

As our laughs slowly died out Duncan laid a cool hand on mine, prying it away from my face, interlocking his fingers with mine, before pressing a kiss to my lips and I threw my free arm around his neck to pull him in closer.

He eased himself into me, squeezing my hand once before building up a comfortable rhythm. I met his hips with mine in every thrust, urging him to go deeper and faster as we both swallowed the other's gasps, our moans muffled by the kisses. He held my hand tight and I clung to him as the warmth in my stomach started to build, my legs shaking as I tried to hold on just a tiny bit longer. But as Duncan moved his lips away from mine and focused his kisses to my neck and let his free hand grip and massage my breasts the best he could, I unraveled underneath him, calling his name in bliss. It didn't take long for Duncan to join me in the ecstasy and the hot breath he exhaled onto my neck made me shudder.

"Fuck", he breathed, his head on my chest as we both tried to catch our breaths.

"Yeah", I nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, "now get off."  
"I already did", Duncan laughed, but rolled off of me nonetheless, snaking an arm around the back of my neck to act as a pillow as I snuggled against him.

"You're stupid", I repeated, playfully smacked his chest and shaking my head. We laid in silence for I don't even know how long, the beating of my heart slowing to its regular rhythm and my breaths calming down.

"Go with me", Duncan said suddenly, his hand painting lazy figures on my upper arm, "to the party."

"What?" I asked and sat up in the bed, clasping the covers to my chest, "You're crazy."

"Crazy for you", he grinned and I rolled my eyes before swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. I heard him shuffle behind me before he pressed a soft kiss to my shoulder.

"I already agreed to go", I shook my head, looking over my shoulder at him; he was on his side, supporting himself on one of his elbows.

"Not with me", he countered back, his fingers tracing my arm up and down.

"What's the difference?" We both knew what the difference was; a couple _with_ their friends, or a couple _of_ friends.

"That I get to show you off", he murmured against my skin as he pressed another kiss to it. I gathered the rest of the covers, sweeping myself in it as I stood up from the bed.

"You know we can't." He didn't bother with covering himself up, another grin slipped onto his lips as he caught my eyes wander over his body.

"Honey, fuck everyone, okay? Fuck everyone that isn't us."

"What good would that do?" I snorted and turned away to gather my discarded clothes from the floor. Duncan groaned and brought his palm to his forehead. I tossed him his clothes, making a point of covering his face with a shirt so I could quickly let go off the covers and pull on my underwear.

"Just go with me", he said again and sat up in the bed, letting the clothes I had thrown on him land on the mattress.

"No, now stop asking."

"Why not?" _Because we aren't supposed to want to,_ I answered in my head. He wasn't supposed to want to take me and I wasn't supposed to want to say yes. This whole thing had started as a way to relieve stress and have some fun. I wasn't supposed to find myself thinking of him when I was too stressed to even remember basic math and have my heart feel like it would pop out of my chest any second every time my eyes lock with his. And I wasn't supposed to want nothing else than to join him on the bed again and throw my arms around his neck and tell him yes.

"Why can't you just let it go?" I answered instead; my voice sounding harsh and annoyed and I barely recognized it. I didn't want to fight with him, we hadn't fought in so long - petty spats and teasing, of course, but not once in the past few weeks had we been properly angry at each other -, yet I couldn't stop the words from falling from my mouth.

"Why do you refuse to be seen with me?" He pulled the shirt over his head with strangely harsh movements, almost like he was punching the air as he put his arms through the holes.

"I do not", I snorted and crossed my arms. "We talk in school and eat lunch together, we study in the library together and hang out after classes."

"Yeah, we", he sighed and got up from the bed, pulling the jeans up as he did so, "we as in you and I and Geoff, Bridgette and DJ." He spoke fast and loud and deserted the quest of buckling his pants in frustration. His hands were trembling - from anger or something else I didn't know - and the tiny buttons were hard enough to button and unbutton with steady hands.

"It's not my fault our friends also wants to eat and study", I countered and threw my arms in the air.

"You invite them", he yelled back and took a step closer to me. He dipped his head and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Oh, so I'm not allowed to care about others?" I stared back at him and narrowed my eyes.

"That's not what I said", he sighed, smacking a hand to his forehead again, "why don't you ever listen?"

"Why can't you just take no for an answer?" I asked, jabbing a finger in his chest as I spoke.

"Because I know you", he lowered his voice, though the anger and hurt still filtered through, "you say no to anything and everything that doesn't fit in with your dad's lifestyle no matter how much you secretly want it."

"You don't know anything about me or my life." I could feel my eyes start to water and turned my gaze away from his promptly. The father card was a low blow, and he knew that. He knew it hurt every time he was late for dinner or decided to go to another poker night instead of my concerts or Will's hockey games.

"I know you wanted to play the saxophone instead of the violin but got told it was an instrument for old jazz-dudes, I know you don't feel comfortable in skirts yet like dresses, I know you talk in your sleep, I know you don't want to get a driver's license because you enjoy the bus and make up stories in your head about all the other passengers and I know you like me."

The silence was deafening and I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that if I tried hard enough I would wake up before any of this had happened; before the hours had flied away on that fateful Friday afternoon and before I had let myself feel anything but content for him.

My voice was hoarse when I finally spoke, my throat dried up from the yelling. "I don't like you." I didn't open my eyes to look at him, I knew the words hurt and I knew that if I saw his face I would break. _It's better this way,_ I told myself, curling my fists tight, _letting him go now before we're in any deeper. We'd implode anyway. We're too different._

We stood in silence for another minute before I felt Duncan turn around and leave, his quick movements causing cool air to hit my face. He opened the door and stalked down the stairs with determined footsteps.

I didn't open my eyes even when I heard the front door open and close. I didn't move even when I heard his motorcycle start and drive off. And I didn't call him even though my fingers typed up his number on my phone and I stared at it for what could've been minutes, hours or even days.


	24. The danger of blame and impending doom

**A/N: It's nearing the end now, my dudes. I have a hard time writing these last few chapters because they physically hurt me, so be patient.**

 **Also! Big news. This fic turned one year two weeks ago. When I first started writing this I never knew it would become _this._ I originally intended to simply have a fun little smutty, secret relationship type of story that would never be published, and just let them live happy in my head. But alas, it was not meant to be. Instead, we got a fun, smutty story in the beginning that slowly turned into unrequited feelings and angst... so yeah. I'm so happy though for all of you that have read and supported me, your reviews and messages helped me get through some tough months this winter. So thank you everyone!**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

The sun caressed my skin when I woke the next day, and even though the alarm almost made my phone vibrate off of the bedside table, I didn't make a move to shut it off. Instead I kept repeating the mantra from before - _we'd implode anyway, we're too different_ \- over and over in my head, but it did nothing to dull the pain in my chest.

I had stripped the bed from it's sheets the night before, wanting desperately to clean away the scent of him, and thrown a pillow at the wall in frustration when even then it had still smelled of lavender. I had left it on the floor, using one of the decoration pillows from the livingroom to sleep on instead; at least that one only smelled of detergent.

If my mom had been home she would've demanded the pillow be brought back to its rightful place that morning, and she probably would've sent Will to fetch it from me. I could almost hear his naked feet on the floorboards, skipping up the stairs two steps at a time. The thought put a smile on my face, but the suffocating silence that filled the house instead wiped it away. I dragged the covers over my head with a groan, turning my back to the still ringing alarm. It was going to be a long day.

I eventually managed to get myself out of bed; brushed my hair and teeth, threw on a cozy, dark blue sweater and grabbed an orange on my way out the door. It occured to me, as I threw the peel away in a public trash can, I was being as passive aggressive as my parents, and the realisation made me cringe. When I was a kid I had wanted to be exactly like my parents, before I understood what that actually entailed. It wasn't until my teens I pieced together that the gifts were disguised bribes, material things that meant nothing in pathetic efforts to pin me against the other. Their snide comments and fake smiles stopped flying over my head, instead planting their roots somewhere deep within me; and they were now coming out in full bloom.

The thought of turning into my mother had my stomach turning into knots and I glared at the orange still in my hand. I threw the rest of it in the nearest trash can.

* * *

"I'm going to wear one of those really ugly hawaiian shirts. You know?" Bridgette said, excitement on her face and eagerness in her voice, "Geoff had, not exaggerating, ten of them."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me", I said and shook my head as I opened my locker, Bridgette leaning her shoulder against them.

"Oh, hush", she waved unceremoniously before continuing, "We'll have fanny packs and sun visor caps, the whole ensemble."

"Sounds fun", I deadpanned, irritatingly flipping through the various notebooks - with unnecessary force - until I found the right one.

"What's wrong?" Bridgette asked, standing up straight beside me, her brows furrowing as she searched my face for some hidden answer.

"Duncan and I-" I started and shook my head, my gaze still trained firmly on the dark grey of the inside of the locker.

"You and Duncan?" It was DJ's voice that stopped me from continuing.

"Yeah, we, uhm, I helped - I helped him study yesterday", I answered without turning around, because I knew he too would see the circles under my eyes and the wrinkles etched in my forehead that told the truth, "History."

"Uh huh", he hummed in disbelief, but didn't press it further.

That day Bridgette kept tapping me on the shoulder and poking me in the arm with her pen during the lessons we had together.

That day I didn't tell Bridgette what was really going on.

That day Duncan didn't show up to school and I blamed myself for it.

* * *

On Wednesday I chewed on the back of my pen as I reread the same page in the economy book for the eighth time. I had stayed behind in the library after school, telling myself it was for the peace and quiet, but subconsciously I knew it was to avoid my house. Normally the emptiness of it wouldn't bother me. I had spent endless weekends by myself, since before Will was even born, I was used to providing for myself. But as I awoke alone in the house that morning, my dad having already left for work, the walls seemed to close in on me; and I couldn't deal with that just yet.

With a sigh I put the pen down on the table, clenching my fists as I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hands. It wasn't supposed to feel like this, to hurt. _No,_ I thought, _we'd implode anyway, we're too different._ It wasn't as effective as it had been two days before.

My phone laid on the table next to me and I eyed it with a mix of desperation and hatred. I held my breath as I pressed his name and typed out a simple ' _hey';_ an olive branch. But as I stared at the screen, my breath hitching as my eyes glanced over the most recent message sent, the words echoed through my mind once again. _Too different,_ I repeated before locking my phone, stuffing it into the back compartment of my bag.

"Focus", I whispered to myself, grabbing the pen from the table again, only to switch out the chewing to instead tap it against the table as I tried to concentrate.

I still hadn't told Bridgette what was really going on yet.

Duncan still didn't showed up to school and I still blamed myself.

* * *

I woke up early on Thursday, in time to see my dad before he drove to work. I had hugged him as he sat in the armchair in the livingroom, coffee cup in hand and the daily paper sprawled out over his lap. It felt awkward and unusual, but as he put the cup down on the table and returned the hug I couldn't help but squeeze a little tighter; reverting back to the seven-year-old who thought the world of him.

He offered me a cup of coffee afterward, not even trying to hide the confusion that was written all over his face at the sudden display of emotions. I said no but thanked him anyway. I slid into the kitchen without disturbing him once more, taking a seat at the breakfast bar as I tossed an apple back and forth in my hands. I knew I couldn't avoid Bridgette that day; not with both math and french on the schedule.

"See you later, kiddo", my dad said as he walked into the kitchen. He had his coat and shoes on and I nodded goodbye to him before returning my attention to the, now half-eaten, apple in my hand. What surprised me, however, was the kiss he pressed to the top of my head as he slid the newspaper on the counter in front of me. "If you want it." He looked almost nervous.

"Thank you, daddy", I said, a small smile on my lips at the gesture.

My assumption about Bridgette had been right. After avoiding her the entirety of the day before, she was tired of waiting and greeted me with a harsh stare as we met up at our lockers before the first class of the day.

"You and Duncan", she inquired, her arms crossed over her chest seriously.

"Where's DJ and Geoff?" I asked instead and opened my locker, leaning in more than necessary to avoid her demanding gaze.

"I said we needed to talk girl stuff", Bridgette explained with a shrug, letting her arms fall to her side as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other.

"I guess we do", I sighed. She didn't answer. "We had a fight."

"You and Duncan?" Her brows furrowed and the fierce attitude in her eyes replaced with concerned.

"Yes", I nodded, "I think we, I don't know, broke things off. I guess." It was my turn to shrug now before taking the book I needed and closing the locker. Bridgette stayed silent, her mouth hanging open slightly in both shock and confusion.

"I don't", she started, shaking her head, "You gess?"

"Yeah, I mean, there wasn't really anything to break off." My voice was low and my eyes were glued to the floor. "We weren't dating."  
"That's bullshit and you know it", Bridgette said, her arms once again crossed and her voice filled with a stubbornness that made me snap my gaze back to her face. "You've been seeing each other, exclusively I might add, for weeks now. Even if you wouldn't admit it to yourself you were dating."

"He asked me to go to the party with him", I confessed silently, "I said we were already going, all five of us." She winced at that and I couldn't stop the guilt from building in my chest as I remembered the pain that had flashed across his face before he tucked it away somewhere deep inside, too far away for me to see. "He started telling me all these things, about how I push him away, that I actually like him but pretend that I don't." She looked at me with sympathy in her eyes and laid a comforting hand on my arm. "I may have told him he was wrong", I finished silently.

"Oh, Court." She used the hand on my arm to pull me closer to her, enveloping me in a hug.

The day went by fast after that. Having to avoid being alone with Bridgette the days before had been hard and tiring, making the day drag on and on and on. But once I had told her, everything went back to normal. Well, almost everything. Duncan still didn't show for school and even Geoff started to get worried.

I still blamed myself.

* * *

It was Friday, the last day before the Halloween party, and everyone seemed to be buzzing with excitement for the coming night; booze, dancing, makeouts with strangers in costumes. People were planning who would drive and who could get the best liquor. You couldn't avoid the topic no matter how hard you tried.

"So what have you decided on?" Geoff asked during lunch, referring to the nonexisting costume of mine. I shrugged without looking up, continuing to poke around in the mashed potatoes with my fork. "You need to start thinking, dudette. It's tomorrow. You know that right?" He turned to Bridgette. "She knows that right?"

"I know, Geoff", I deadpanned and dropped my fork as I looked up at him and DJ, "I was thinking of maybe not going."

"No, Court", he answered; if there was one thing Geoff took seriously it was parties. "You already said yes."

"I changed my mind." I shrugged again and Geoff's mouth fell open dramatically. "It's no big deal."

"No big deal", he shrieked and Bridgette sighed loudly next to me. She reached out and laid her hand on her boyfriend's comfortingly.

"Geoff", was all she said, a gentle smile on her lips and a look in her eyes that made him melt.

"Well if you change your mind", DJ cut in, "I can pick you up."

"Designated driver?" I asked humorously.

"Claimed", he answered, "You really expect Geoff or Duncan to drive?"

"Right", I said, my mouth in a tight line as I worried my lower lip, "I guess not."

"It's not guaranteed he'll even be there", Bridgette assured me quietly, leaning toward me so the boys' wouldn't hear. I only nodded, not lifting my gaze from my mashed potatoes.

I kept my head down in English class, knowing - and literally feeling - the looks Heather's cheerleaders threw in my direction. Occasional words every now and then would reach me as they seeped through the class's constant chatter. _Tomorrow night. Date. Doesn't. Heather said. Shut up. Duncan would bring some._ It only made me sink lower in the chair, my forehead almost resting against the table as I groaned to myself.

It wasn't unusual for me to not show up at the big parties - I had even blown off Geoff's last New Years Eve party - but something about the way their hushed voices and mentions of both Duncan and Heather made me realise people would notice if I decided not to go. My interactions with Heather had not gone unnoticed by the gossiping students, and since I had publicly accepted her invitation and agreed to go, not showing up would be seen as a personal attack, only generating more of the mind-numbing gossip.

It wouldn't matter what I decided, either the weekend would be crappy or the following week. Pick your poison. I wouldn't be in this position, I realised, if his stupid dad hadn't thrown him out of that stupid house and he wouldn't have had to sleep in that stupid campground and therefore never showed it to me in the first stupid place. If his stupid face hadn't needed a stupid place to sleep. If his stupid eyes hadn't made my stupid heart feel and if my stupid upbringing hadn't kept me from shielding my stupid self from the impending doom.

Duncan hadn't shown up that day either and I no longer blamed myself.


	25. The danger of parties

**A/N: I feel like I say this in every a/n recently, but life has been stressing me da fuck out and I've just not been myself for weeks. At all. I'm okay now though. I think. Anyway, here, have some angst.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

I stared at the chipping paint in the ceiling above my bed. I had my phone pressed up to my ear with my shoulder as I picked absentmindedly at the dirt under my fingernails. Over the past week I had been scratching at my skin without noticing, leaving streaks of red along the side of my neck and down my arms, and my nails having to be cleaned more frequently than before.

I listened to Bridgette as she tried to break through to me on the other side of the phone. She asked about the several weeks Duncan and I had spent together, that it 'had to come from somewhere'. She dragged the truth out of me the best she could and clung to anything and everything I let slip; the game we had played when he helped me study for that biology test, how I hadn't bothered with going back home from the campground that one night, when he showed up to the banquet with fully black hair and the mohawk combed to the side.

She asked more in depth about why I had ended things and I answered that I had to before things got too serious. "Sounds like it already was", she had quipped back and the comment made my heart tighten.

I quickly changed the subject after that.

But Bridgette came right back to the start again; about Duncan and the party the following night.

"Come on", she pleaded through the phone, "you have to come. You promised."

"Yeah, well, that was before he left."

"You have to help DJ keep an eye on Geoff", she continued as if I hadn't spoken.

"What about you?" I asked and a questioning ' _huh'_ was heard from the other side in response, "Aren't you going to keep an eye on Geoff?"

"Probably not", she chuckled, "I heard Scott would make a punch with his homebrew. Filled with gummy-snakes and marshmallow-eyes."

"Sounds fun", I sighed, my hands dropping to the side of my body as I shifted in the bed.

"Now please come to the party", Bridgette begged again, "For me?"

"For you?" I raised an eyebrow and I could almost feel the giddy energy vibrating off of her through the phone; Bridgette knew she meant the world to me as I knew I meant the world to her and she just wanted to cheer me up. "I don't have a costume."

"So throw on a blazer and some glasses, and voilá, you're a librarian."

"Even if I did go, which I'm not saying I am", I raised a finger in the air as if to stop the comment I knew was on her tongue, even though she couldn't see me, "I don't think I'm ready to see him."

"Court", Bridgette said, her voice suddenly serious, "I know it's hard and that it hurts, but you can't let yourself wallow in it. So you get your butt out of that house, come have a drink with your friends and don't let Duncan ruin your fun."

I knew she was right. I had been unconsciously denying myself even the tiniest sparks of joy; I felt guilty, but too stubborn to even admit it to myself, so I deprived myself, instead, of any emotions other than the hurt and the guilt. So I said screw Duncan; I would have fun whether he showed up or not.

* * *

It had taken me most of the next day to find the right outfit; I was not going to half-ass it. I was going to party with my friends like there was no tomorrow and I was going to look damn good doing it, but nothing felt quite right. Not until I found a short, black dress in the back of my closet, the tag still hanging from its neck, with layers upon layers of fringes. I couldn't for the life of me remember why I'd bought it, but once I found it everything else fell into place; flapper.

My hair was curled just right, completed with a headband decorated with pearls and feathers of course, my lips painted a perfect red and my arms covered in comfortable silk gloves.

I had texted DJ after the talk with Bridgette, telling him I changed my mind and to pick me up before the party, so even if I let the nerves get the better of me and wanted to back out I couldn't.

"Wow", I heard Bridgette whistle as I neared the car, "You're the hottest librarian I've ever seen." The windows had been rolled down and she was leaning out of it excitingly, her laughter filling the otherwise quiet night. The visor cap on her head was slightly tilted and as I saw Geoff's lovestruck face behind her I had a pretty good guess as to why.

"Really?" I laughed with her and gave her a twirl, the fringes of the dress flaring out as I spun.

"What made you change your mind?" She asked as I climbed into the passenger seat next to DJ.

"We're reading The Great Gatsby in English class", I shrugged and DJ eyed me with a smile as he drove away from my house.

"Can't thank you enough for saving me", he joked, nodding his head towards the rear-view mirror when he continued, "those two haven't been able to keep their hands off of each other since I picked them up."

"Do they ever?" I laughed, shaking my head at the loving couple, Bridgette only responding with a ditzy smile.

* * *

The street surrounding Heather's house was chock-full of vehicles, cars, motorcycles and even regular bikes pouring down the block in a way that made me amazed no one had called the police yet. _Someone please call the police,_ I caught myself thinking, dreading the people inside, my stomach clenching as I spotted one particularly familiar motorcycle parked lazily on the grass.

We were greeted by the door with jello shots, the candy dessert masking the taste of liquor enough to make it enjoyable. My eyes searched the rooms visible from the foyer nervously, but when the only things I saw were a ring of people playing 'Never have I ever', couples dragging each other up the stairs while other made out on the couches and what looked like a beer pong tournament, my body relaxed and I followed Bridgette into the livingroom.

She clung to Geoff's arm and greeted some of his friends happily. DJ came up behind me, handing me a drink, as I watched them yell to each other in an effort to be heard over the blaring music.

"She really loves him", I pointed out, leaning my head back so DJ would hear me. The type of people Geoff knew outside of our friend group were ones he had met at other parties and one even while in the drunk tank; it was a varying mix of school athletes and art students. Bridgette, on the other hand, would find friends in the animal shelter, ones that cared about any and all life equally; not the partying type at all. Yet there she stood, a big smile on her face as she leaned into her boyfriend's side, as they all hooted and cheered, clinking their cups together, beer spilling over the edges from the force. Their love was genuine, pure. It made my heart ache.

"I'm going to go - get, uh, some more to drink", I said, the excuse nothing short of pathetic as I had barely sipped at the beer DJ'd brought me. I pretended not to see the creases in his forehead and the anxious-mixed-confusion in his eyes.

The house was like a maze; it wasn't that much bigger than my own, but the seemingly endless corridors were riddled with identical decors and doors only leading to broom closets and bedrooms, turning multiple corners and crossing paths with one another. I finally made it out, however, into the cool October night, and took a deep breath. I had downed the beer during the little involuntary exploration and was left standing with an empty cup; not that I minded it all that much. Beer was never my go to drink, or even in my top five.

"You want a refill of that?" I had never seen the guy before - or maybe I had, it was hard to tell under the pale makeup and fake blood dripping from the corner of his mouth -, though his eyes squinted in a familiar way and I could've sworn I had seen the upturn of his nose before. "Name's Adam", he said as he saw the wheels in my head turn, trying to pinpoint where I knew him from. He held out his hand and I shook it cautiously.

"Courtney", I introduced myself.

"So how about that refill?" A smirk made its way across his face. The sight hit me hard, forcing me to look away.

"That's not really -" But he had already taken the plastic cup out of my hand and walked over to the table outside; it was full of bottles in different sizes and shapes, the liquids in them varying in colors, some I even recognised as regular soda. Behind one of the legs stood a keg. Cliché much?

"Pick your poison", Adam offered, waving his hand in front of the table to show off the different options it provided.

"Beer's fine", I said quietly, worrying my lower lip as my eyes wandered around the yard without permission.

"Nonsense", he discarded, picking up a bottle of red liquor and studying it with a ridiculous amount of intensity, "a pretty lady like you deserves a pretty drink." He put down the bottle and smiled at me, before returning his attention to another bottle of booze.

I crossed my arms, rubbing the goosebumped skin in an attempt to heat up at least a little. The clouds laid thick across the sky, the moonlight barely breaking through, and the air felt moist, almost suffocatingly so. It was a clear sign of snow. It surprised me it hadn't snowed already, the past weeks had only gotten colder and especially the last couple of days.

"Here you go", Adam said and extended the cup back to me, efficiently snapping me out of my thoughts. I took the drink with a small smile, a quiet ' _thank you'_ slipping from my lips. I sipped it carefully, feeling his expectant gaze on me as I did. It was sweet. Not like the jello shots from before, but rather like berries. "You like?"

"Yeah", I nodded, my smile growing wider as the warmth of the alcohol made its way down my throat. A kid poorly wrapped in toilet paper stumbled between us, almost falling on top of the table as he hit his thighs at its edge, but Adam just stepped to the side and lead me away from the drunk teenager by my wrist.

"So how you like the party?" He leaned up against the house's facade, his fingers still lightly wrapped around my wrist. The touch made my gaze drop and he quickly let go as I simply stared at his hand; he looked embarrassed, like he had forgotten to let go. I shrugged my shoulders in answer, taking another sip from my drink as my eyes wandered over the yard once more.

"You looking for someone?"

"Oh", I swallowed, wiping away the excess at the corners of my mouth with my glove, "No."

"I wouldn't be of much help anyway, i don't know even half of the people here", Adam chuckled.

"Then why are you here?" Not that I was any better, really. The people I actually knew by name were few, the ones I tolerated to talk to even fewer.

"Don't have much of a choice when its my house", he shrugged.

"Oh, you're Heather's... oh-" That's why I recognised him; he was the spitting image of his father, only twenty or so years younger.

"I take it you know my sister."

"Unfortunately", I murmured, the alcohol already starting to break down my restraints, causing the word to escape my mouth before I could stop it.

"Yeah, she can be a bit of a handful."

"You're telling me", I snickered, though quickly pressed my lips together, afraid he had taken the 'not-actually-a-joke" joke seriously. But he just smiled and chuckled, making the droplets of fake blood hanging from his lips sneak their way down his chin.

"There you are, Court", Bridgette called, her arm still hooked through Geoff's, dragging him along with her as she walked over to where Adam and I stood. Her hair was ruffled and her visor cap missing and the ditzy smile on her face said it all. "Come join the party, it's so cold out here", she whined.

"Fine", I said with a smile contradicting the rolling of my eyes, "Guess I'll see you around." I waved goodbye to Adam as Bridgette dragged me back inside.

The music seemed even louder than before, if that was possible, and the furniture in the livingroom had been pushed to the walls, making room for a dancefloor. The drinking games had significantly lessened, they were only a way of letting people let loose and now that they were drunk the games had lost most of their meaning.

I stood to the side, sipping on the drink Adam had made me, smiling reassuringly at Bridgette whenever she looked my way from the dancefloor. She had tied the ends of the hawaiian shirt together, exposing her midriff, and danced closely to Geoff whose shirt hung open across his chest. Party Bridgette was so different from Everyday Bridgette and watching her laugh in a way I couldn't remember ever laughing, I started to wonder if I even had a party side. Maybe with the right people - the right _person._

The latest song faded out just as I downed the last of my drink and I took the opportunity of the musical silence to excuse myself again. Needing desperately to get the happy couple out of my sight and the spinning thoughts of Duncan out of my head.

I swiftly replaced my cup with a full one and started down the corridor I remembered led to a bathroom. As I swung the door open I was met by the sight of two girls sitting on the floor, one hung over the toilet and the other smoothing down her hair. She glared at me and spat at me to get out. The girl who hung over the toilet tried to catch a glimpse of me but was forcefully interrupted by a hurl, her whole body crouching in on itself.

"Sorry", I managed to get out and closed the door behind me to instead make my way up the stairs, hoping to god this extravagant house had more than one bathroom.

Behind the first door I stumbled across upstairs came sounds I knew well; the creaking of a bed and the raspy calls of names. Sounds that only tightened the knot in the pit of my stomach.

The second door led to another bedroom, though one occupied by a crying girl rather than an intimate couple. She looked at me with swollen eyes and tears staining her cheeks, even in the darkness of the unlit room I could see how smudged her makeup had become. I knew that she probably wanted nothing more than to be left alone, I knew that's what I wanted, but some part of me deep down jumped at the opportunity to share our misery, to cry together and not feel lonely.

"Do you", I started, lingering in the doorway, "are you okay?"

"Yes", she hiccupped, not taking her bloodshot eyes away from me.

"I can-I can stay if you need someone", I said and reached out my still untouched drink to her. She shook her head before burying it between her knees. I stayed at the doorway for another few seconds, retracting my extended hand, until she looked up at me again.

"Get out", she yelled angrily, like she had said it to me a thousand times already, and I closed the door quickly as she kept yelling at me. The music wasn't as loud upstairs, the walls and floors absorbing most of the vocals and instruments, leaving only the bass, allowing me to hear the girl's sobs even through the wooden door.

My hand lingered on the door handle, silently debating with myself whether or not to ignore her demand of being left alone; you say the stupidest things while upset, turning down the help offered even though you need it. But before I could decide, another sound drew my attention down the hallway. Not sobbing, no, more like a breathless pleading.

The door from where these new sounds came stood ajar and the alcohol that flowed freely in my body inhibited logical thinking, making me inch closer until I could see the dark hair falling down the girl's shoulders like a waterfall. She was on her knees, her back to me, running her hands up and down the legs of a guy I couldn't see other than his torn jeans.

"I'll make you feel good", she whispered seductively, slurring slightly as she spoke. He didn't answer - at least not verbally - and neither of them moved. No buttons came undone and no hands wandered out of sight.

"I want you", the girl on the floor coaxed, spreading her fingers out on his thighs, her nails digging into the fabric slightly, "I know you want me too."

"Heather", the guy spoke quietly, warningly, and an involuntary squeel left my mouth before I quickly shuffled down the hallway towards the next door, hoping to God they hadn't heard, but knowing in my head that they had.

"Courtney?" I froze as Duncan called out my name in surprise and, what sounded like, relief. Hearing my name roll of his tongue hurt. He wasn't supposed to call me Courtney, not when it was just the two of us, not with that tone. But what hurt more was realizing where he had emerged from. My eyes stung with betrayal and I couldn't bare myself to turn around and face him. "It's not-"

"Save it", I snapped, shutting him up momentarily. Each of his steps on the wooden floor made my head pulsate and my breath hitch.

"I didn't think you would come." He stood directly behind me now, I could feel the heat radiating from his body and the smell of lavender crept its way up my nose.

"I shouldn't have."

"Look at me." It wasn't a command, it was more like the plea from a withering flower begging to be watered.

I shook my head no, biting my lower lip hard and squeezing my eyes shut tight.

Duncan walked around me then, his scent dancing around my body as he moved. "Courtney", he tried again, softly caressing my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Don't." My eyes snapped open and I slapped his hand away, the sound of skin hitting skin echoed through the hallway and I didn't care that it probably stung; he deserved it. "Heather's waiting for you." My face was cold, my voice more monotone than a machines', but my gaze burnt of anger.

He didn't follow as I turned around and retreated down the stairs. I wish he had followed.

For the rest of the night I drank until I couldn't remember my own name and I had to focus hard to even see straight, until I couldn't distinguish the memories from dreams - and nightmares - and until my heart stopped aching and the contents off my stomach was splattered across the white porcelain of a bathtub.

But no matter how horribly drunk I got, his face haunted me every time I closed my eyes and his voice echoed through my skull.

I used the bodies of people nearby to move against in an attempt to replace the memories, the feel, of his body on mine, dancing on the floor and on top of a table until the room spun and everyone cheered me on.

I don't know if he tried to talk to me, I couldn't remember, I didn't want to remember. But as the time passed and I, after hours of belting out along to the music flowing through the speakers, stumbled my way home in the early morning hours, I felt my chest tighten and my lungs collapse with air deprivation as the first snowflakes of the year tumbled down from the greyish pink sky.

My bed felt empty that night. My body felt empty; the only content the aching in my stomach.

I couldn't decide who I was angrier with; him, her or myself. Not until I heard the morning birds tweet outside my window and I realised it was him. At how he made me feel.

I ignored the alarm clock as it rang out loud enough to make my head pound, not possessing the energy to even be bothered by the shrieking sound.

I missed him.

I loathed him.

I needed him.

I wanted to punch his stupid face.

I wanted to kiss his soft lips.


	26. TDO trying to avoid confrontation

**I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

I don't know if my dad ever came home that weekend. I didn't care. And if he did, he hadn't bothered to take the time and check in on me.

The alarm eventually stopped it's beeping, but after how many minutes I had no idea. It didn't matter anyhow. School wasn't until another day. I could stay in bed all Sunday if I wanted to, hide under the covers and block out the world for another 24 hours.

But I did get up, if only to drink water, and kill the ache pulsating in my head, and turn on some music as I got back into bed. The music helped. The harsh rhythm and screaming vocals made it easier to get the frustration out and mask the sound of tears that came with.

I let myself dwell on the previous night, get it all out of my system before Monday morning. Because no matter what, I was going. I didn't care if I had to face him, or her. I was not going to let one bad breakup - or whatever it was - ruin the other parts of my life. I was strong, I knew that, but I also had a heart. So I cried and screamed and clung to my pillow, but as the hours ticked by and the sun started to climb higher in the sky, I dried my tears, got out of bed and took a shower.

The water was hot, probably too hot, the streams falling from the showerhead painting my skin red, steam clouding the bathroom. It was a welcomed contrast to the cold and snow I knew waited for me outside.

I pulled a sweatshirt over my head, letting the soft fabric soothe some of the irritation off of my shoulders, and bundled up with a hat, even though I knew it was probably still too warm to wear wool.

I tried to go on as if nothing had happened; paid attention in class, helped DJ with the latest chapter in math, chatting with Bridgette by the lockers, passing notes in Mrs. Jacqueline's class, even agreeing to join her and Geoff when they decided to get lunch off school grounds. But it didn't matter how many questions I answered correctly in class or how much I laughed with Bridgette about her brother's stupidity; something had happened, something I wasn't used to, something I didn't know how to handle.

Duncan didn't come to school for a few days after the party and his absence made me both relax and tense up all at the same time. I knew that once he came back I was either going to have to sneak around and avoid him - and in extension the rest of our group of friends - or face him, look him dead in the eyes and pretend to feel nothing but the shallow annoyance I once used to harbor for him.

I saw him Thursday afternoon, chuckling and high-fiving with Geoff near his locker as if nothing had happened. It made me wonder what was so ' _awesome_ ' to be talking about in that manner; new supplies? Bridgette? _Heather?_ And as if summoned by my thoughts, the raven haired cheerleader appeared from around the corner, a smirk on her lips as she let her arm snake around Duncan's waist.

He didn't shrug her off.

I turned around, all but running down the hallway, taking the long route from Biology class down to my locker; everything to not have to pass the two of them.

Friday morning he was nowhere to be seen and I breathed a sigh of relief. I only had to endure a few more hours, if lucky without any more unexpected appearances. But, of course, that wasn't the case. Not only did his name frequent the conversations of Heather's minions, the two of them stood leaning against his motorcycle at lunch, his arm slung across her shoulders and a cigarette in the other hand.

"You think she's his mystery chick?" Geoff had wondered, a mix of annoyance and shock overcoming his features, and if it wasn't for his - and DJ's - company, I would've held my head up high and walked away from the scene instantly.

"Nah", DJ quickly dismissed, almost confidently. "You really think they would've kept them hooking up again quiet?"

"No, you're right, dude", Geoff said, stuffing his hands in his pockets as we continued to walk over the school yard, toward the library were Bridgette was waiting. "Man, why's he holding out on us like this?" And even though his question came from the annoyance of not knowing a secret, it echoed through my mind with a different meaning. Why did Duncan still keep us a secret? Before Halloween we kept quiet for the thrill, the excitement of knowing something so special, so intimate, that no one else knew; and maybe, partly, from my side, about hiding from the judgment I knew we were going to face once our relationship became public knowledge.

But now?

We were broken.

* * *

The library was mostly empty, everyone was either in the cafeteria or somewhere else getting lunch - except from a handful of students making out behind the backmost shelves.

"Okay, so that's it", Geoff announced, clasping his hands together behind his head as he leaned back in the chair, "I am officially done with this terms French. This needs celebrating."

"Baby, you think everything needs celebrating", Bridgette giggled, looking at her boyfriend over the top of her laptop and shaking her head softly.

"What can I say?" he shrugged, "Life's a party."

"I'm game", DJ said.

"Even though it sounds like fun", I said, rolling my eyes cheekily at my ever-so energetic friend sitting across from me, "I'm still not done with my courses." I could see Bridgette glancing at me subtly from the corner of my eye, because even though she knew I had work to do, she worried. And I couldn't blame her. I would've been worried sick too if our roles were reversed.

"Holla at me if you change your mind", Geoff offered, smiling. I couldn't deny that the distraction sounded tempting, but I had my own way to avoid the intrusive thoughts and feelings; the same way I had since childhood; work.

Students breathed a collective sigh of relief as the final minute of the day had ticked by, cheering in between themselves in excitement for the weekend, chattering away about their plans for the upcoming holidays. Christmas was only a couple of weeks away, the temperature outside plummeting into the negatives in an attempt to make up for the warm fall, and the snow trying it's hardest to cover any and every surface.

I sighed silently to myself; it was over, two days by myself to collect my thoughts before I had to be strong again. Well, almost over.

"I saw you by the parking lot earlier", Heather said, slamming the door to my locker shut, cocking her head to the side demeaningly.

"You might not know this, Heather, but the library is on the other side of that parking lot", I answered as I turned to face her, pissed that she just _had to_ ruin this for me too.

"Cute", she snorted, holding my gaze, her arms crossing over her chest, "I told you he'd be trouble, didn't I?"

"Well now he's your trouble." I pushed past her, wanting nothing more than to leave the conversation behind me, leave her behind me. But the next word out of her mouth stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Jealous?"

"You know what?" I whirled around and closed the distance between us in an instance, the anger that had been building up inside of me finally exploding as I spat out "Fuck off, Heather." They were words I had wanted to say for so long, words that felt so good saying, but alas they were words that did not change a thing. I saw students out of the corner of my eye that stopped to look at the ommotion, some too scared - or maybe just unbothered - to stay and watch, their eyes flicking back at us as they scurried away.

"Ooh, didn't know the pristine little valedictorian had such a foul mouth", she giggled, flipping her dark hair back over her shoulder. I hated that fake ass giggle.

"You don't know anything about me."

"I know more than you think." She leaned in closer, her breath chilling my skin as she spoke. I stood my ground, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly, meeting her eyes with mine.

"Court?" DJ's voice broke through, pushing to the front of the small audience we had gathered.

"Look", Heather smirked without breaking eye contact, "your bodyguard is here to take you home, before you do anything you'll regret."

"Leave it alone, Court", DJ said, his hand wrapping around my arm both protectively and in an attempt to lead me away.

"Yes, _Court",_ she said, emphasizing the nickname derogatorily, waving her perfectly manicured hand absently, "walk away." I didn't see the green mohawk protrude the crowd, not until I growled a ' _fine'_ and let DJ pull me toward the exit. Blue met brown as my gaze landed on him; confusion and melancholy breaking through his façade. The anger still simmered in my stomach. How dare he be sad? What did he think was going to happen?

This was all his fault.

* * *

"You can let go of me now", I muttered as the doors to the school closed behind us, the cool wind feeling harsh as it blew against my skin.

"Sorry", DJ said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. We walked in silence for a moment, both trying to process what had just happened. "I'm taking you home", he stated caringly and just as I opened my mouth to protest he cut me off saying it was non negotiable.

His car was warm, despite the winter weather sweeping through the town, and it felt like a welcoming embrace.

"You wanna talk about it?" DJ asked as he drove out of the parking lot, the soft music playing from the radio filling the silence.

"No", I answered and crossed my arms over my chest, sinking lower into the seat, "I mean"- a sigh-"she's just a bitch." I could see his subtle flinch at the harsh word. I couldn't even imagine him saying something of that manner, he wasn't one to scream and throw around insults; especially to women. But then again, I had only just recently allowed them into my own vocabulary. He didn't say anything after that, no follow-up questions he knew I wouldn't answer, no unnecessary positive statements about it getting better. Only a slow nod in acknowledgement.

It wasn't until DJ parked outside my house that he spoke up. "You sure you wanna stay home this weekend?" It felt good; someone caring; asking. I nodded and kept my eyes set on the snow covered road through the windshield, making no effort - despite the silent confirmation of being okay - to get out. "You know, it's okay to not wanna be by yourself."

My throat felt dry and aching as I opened my mouth to speak. I hadn't noticed the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks until I caught a glance of my reflection in the side mirrors. My eyes puffy and red. I looked defeated. I had let her win. I had let _him_ win.

I shook my head and cleared my throat, pushing myself upright in the seat. "It's just-" I dried the tears away with the white shirt sleeve poking out of my jacket. A deep breath. _Pull yourself together._ "I'll call Bridg", I offered, a meek smile of reassurance on my lips that didn't quite reach my eyes. "But thank you."

DJ hesitated for a second but not before long his arms were wrapped around me, the caring hug giving me the strength I needed to step out of the car and face the world again. I thanked him again, for the ride, for being there for me, and he called a quick ' _bye'_ before I disappeared into my house.

"Hello, Courtney", I heard my dad's voice call out as the front door slammed shut behind me, making me flinch; I hadn't counted on him being home, he usually wasn't at this time.

"Hi, Daddy", I called back, putting on a smile as I slipped into the livingroom. He was poking around in the fireplace, ripping pieces of birch bark off of the firewood to throw into it. "You cold?"

He nodded, not lifting his eyes away from the orange flames struggling to keep alive as it engulfed another strip of bark. "The cold hit the office hard, the heaters were unprepared."

"Do you want help with that?" I asked, crossing the room to squat down next to him, as the fire snuffed itself out, smoke curling in the air above the scorched wood.

He stood up with a sigh, brushing his hands on the legs of his pants, traces of soot staining the fabric. "No, it's fine. I'll be in my study."

I watched him leave, his footsteps echoing through the empty house, and pressed my lips together tightly. Not even five minutes had it taken for him to retreat from the room.

I flopped down onto the floor with a sigh, crossing my legs in front of me and picked up the firewood he had abandoned, ripping long strips of birch bark absentmindedly. It didn't matter if he was home or not, I would see him just as little anyway. He was either locked away at the office, too far to get to, or in his study, where he was ' _not ever to be interrupted.'_ At least my mom asked me about my day; even if she didn't listen all the time, or most of the time, but at least she was present enough to pretend to care.

The flames slowly gained power as they licked at the strips I pushed into it, lighting a paper on fire to get it going. And as I watched as the colours change and the fire grow my mind drifted away to setting suns and a canopy of green, a rough wooden bench underneath me and a pierced face above me.

* * *

I had just gotten out of the shower as the phone rang. My hair wrapped in a towel and a pair of old sweatpants covering my legs. The music in the background was faint, but I heard enough of it to know it wasn't hers.

"Tell me everything!" Bridgette demanded as soon as I had answered.

"What are you talking about?" I asked and plopped down on my bed cross-legged.

"You, Heather, the fight. It's all I've heard about over the last hour."

"How-? I mean- you weren't even at school." My eyebrows drew together in confusion

" _I_ wasn't, but just about everyone else, and you and I both know Geoff can't ignore the rumours and gossip." I could hear an offended ' _hey'_ call out to her in the background. It was silent for a second before he muttered ' _fine'_ and Bridgette turned her attention back to our conversation. "So", she prompted, "tell me everything."

"It's nothing", I said, trying to sweep the whole thing under the rug. But knowing Bridgette, she would roll the rug up and toss it through the window, leaving no place to hide.

"Cursing Heather out is not nothing."

"I know", I sighed, letting my head fall into my hand. I could hear she was waiting for me to explain, letting me take my own time as she sat silent and waited patiently. "I told DJ I was going to call you", I chuckled humorlessly.

"DJ knows?" Bridgette asked, her surprise loud and obvious.

"Yes, I mean, he was there", I said with a shrug. "I haven't told him about, well… any of _that_ , you know _?_ He just… showed up, gave me a ride home."

"Uh huh", she murmured, waiting for me to go on. I could picture her wide expectant eyes, her hands waving and rolling as she wanted me to continue.

I fell down on my back with a sigh, dragging a hand through my hair. "I snapped." It was a silent confession, a reluctant one. It had not been a moment I was proud of. "Seeing Duncan with her… I just", I trailed off, not knowing how to even end the sentence.

"I get it", Bridgette spoke softly through the phone. "Why don't you come over tomorrow?"

"I don't know", I said, the words lingering in my mouth with uncertainty.

"He won't be there", she answered bluntly, knowing the bigger part of my reluctance.

"How do you know that?"

"He's… well… Geoff said he'd be busy", Bridgette stuttered apologetically. We both knew what ' _busy'_ meant.

"I don't feel like celebrating", I said after a long silence.

"Okay, so we won't", she answered, "You can bring your flashcards and notes and I'll help you study."

"No you won't!" Geoff yelled in the background. I didn't know if he was talking to me or Bridgette, but whoever it was directed to, it made a genuine laugh escape my throat. Ruffling could be heard through the phone and an angrily whispering conversation, before the phone was snatched from Bridgette's hand. "Court", Geoff said with as seriousness I couldn't tell was fake or not, "Tomorrow. My place. We'll smoke up, watch a movie or two and then you can drag Bridgette to whatever it is girls do. I don't know, we have swings in the backyard? You wanna swing? Anyway. No homework. Only fun. 'Kay?" he rambled, not once stopping to take a breath.

I shook my head, a smile on my lips. He was such a goofus, but god be damned if it didn't cheer me up. "I'm not going to swing with your girlfriend."

"That means you coming?"

"I guess", I said, throwing my free hand in the air in submission and sat up in the bed again, leaning my back against the wall.

"Awesome", he exclaimed before more ruffling was heard, a long silence following.

"Bridg?"

"Oh", she snapped back to reality, picking up the phone I assumed had been dropped somewhere next to them, "I'm here, Court."

"Uhm, yeah", I said awkwardly as she giggled into the phone, sounds of wet lips sneaking through louder than I had ever wished to hear, "I'm going to let you guys finish that."

"Bye", Bridgette murmured, her breathing heavy, and I shuddered as I tossed the phone away from me.

I looked over at the backpack leaning against my desk, notebooks and literature sticking out through it. The only actual work I had was a book report due in a little less than a month. It wasn't nearly enough to keep me occupied for the weekend. Maybe some company would do me good after all.

With a quick text to DJ, telling him I talked to Bridgette and needed a ride for the following day, I threw an oversized shirt over my head and fluffed up the pillows in my bed with the latest Netflix show of interest playing on my computer.


	27. The danger of touch

**A/N: Well, we're finally here. The end. It took me longer than I would've wanted, but we got there in the end! I wanna thank everyone who's been sticking with this story and not giving up on me over the past year, I don't think I ever would've completed this without your support. I will be uploading an epilogue after this chapter though, hopefully before the end of the year, with glimpses of their life together after all this drama and shit. Imma put Heather in her place, let Duncan work on cars with his Uncle, have Courtney stress out over law school and maybe, down the line, they'll have a kid or two. Who knows? I know, mohahah.**

 **I do not own Total Drama, all rights reserved to the respective owners.**

* * *

"I don't know what's going on with you and Heather", DJ started as we got into his car, he turned the ignition and the engine slowly puttered to life.

"It's not a big deal", I said, cutting him off before he could start down the train of pity.

"Heather's always been… well, Heather. It hasn't bothered you before."

"Oh it's always bothered me", I muttered angrily at the memories of her viciousness throughout the years. It had started small, with mostly harmless comments thrown at the closets target, but it didn't take long for it to grow; the comments turning into insults, insults into rumors, rumors into actual physical acts of dominance. I figured in the beginning it had been a way for her to deal with something behind the scenes, and over the years the mask of cruelty and confidence had melted onto her face until she herself couldn't even distinguish the two personas. I knew I was well on that road myself before Bridgette inserted herself into my life, pulling me away from the supposedly perfect life my family was living, tearing my walls down brick by brick until the truth came spilling out. I still valued intelligence and hard work above most things, that would never change, but she helped me realize the comfort of true friendship and not having to uphold a façade only for the convenience of others. I loved her for that.

"You know what I mean", DJ said pointedly, his eyes, full of worry, flicking between me and the road.

"Yeah", I sighed, "I know." It wasn't long after that, that we stood parked outside Geoff's house.

"I ain't gonna force it out of you", he said, turning to me in his seat as he pocketed the car keys, "but just know that I'm here."

"You're a really good friend, DJ", I smiled and wrapped my arms loosely around him.

"I do what I can", he joked, chuckling heartily, the sound vibrating through my chest as he reciprocated the hug.

The air was chilly as we stepped out of the car, making me bury my hands in the pockets of my jacket. The grass had grown stiff and white, coated by a thin layer of frost, and the birds chirped lively as they flew huddled together in v-formations over the sky, aiming for the warmth of the south.

Bridgette smiled when she opened the door, ushering us inside in an effort to keep the cold out. She had the end of the arms of her thick hoodie bunched up in her hands, already noticeably freezing, and the dropping temperature outside did nothing to help.

"Geoff's mom ordered too much Chinese food yesterday", she said happily as she waited in the hall for DJ and I to put our coats and shoes away.

"How do you even order too much food for a family of eight?" I questioned with a laugh.

"Believe me when I say it ain't the first time", Geoff stated as he joined us by the front door before adding, "she's neurotic when it comes to me and my brothers", with a shake of his head.

But just as we turned around, taking aim for the kitchen, the door opened behind us again.

"'Sup, party people?" Duncan hollered, shrugging the jacket off his body before greeting DJ and Geoff with a high five each.

I dragged Bridgette a step back with me as we all followed Geoff into the kitchen, whispering in panic and shock, "I thought you said he wouldn't be here."

"I didn't think he would be", she whispered back, her eyes full of sympathy as they flicked between Duncan and I. I gathered myself with a sigh; I had known it would happen sooner or later; I couldn't avoid him forever.

We watched in silence as the three guys talked among themselves while stacking various boxes of food on the counter, my nails scratching subconsciously along my arm, leaving long, angry streaks of red on my skin.

Even with the food being leftovers, even with a family of eight satiating their hunger the night before, there was still enough left to feed all five of us and more. I quietly snatched an unheated box of wok as Geoff poured some, now warm, beef sloppily into a bowl, and I could feel Duncan watching me from the corner of his eye. I almost liked cold noodles and chicken more than hot, freshly cooked, it was just another thing he'd learned about me from the weeks we had spent together. Just like I knew he over-salted his fries to the point of them tasting like the sea and preferring his coffee black in the morning, but with just a tiny splotch of milk in the afternoon.

I didn't acknowledge him when we descended the basement stairs together, claiming the armchair Geoff and Bridgette usually sat on for myself, putting distance between Duncan and I as best I could without it being too obvious. I sank low into the chair and held the cool box close to my body in an attempt to hide the reddened skin on my arms. He didn't need proof I was thinking about what had happened; about us; about him.

But I knew he knew anyway.

* * *

With most of the food gone, a comfortable silence had filled the room. Or at least for three of us. Bridgette had snuggled up into Geoff's chest, his arm draped over her shoulders as he held her close and DJ watched the show on TV intently, like it wasn't the hundredth rerun. But every now and then my eyes would drift to the neon green in my peripheral and every time I would feel my stomach clench. He probably hated me by now; I know I would've.

"See, now that's hot", Duncan piped up suddenly, gesturing towards the screen, "A woman that knows what she wants." I didn't know if it was nothing more than a thought he let slip, or a deliberate jab at me - at the uncertainty I had let dictate our relationship to the point of implosion -, but it didn't matter; it still hurt. But then his eyes flitted over to me, to my crossed arms and grinding teeth. Something glinted in his eyes as he looked me over, something I couldn't quite put my finger on; anger? Regret? Longing?

"Yeah", I said and uncrossed my legs, leaning forward in the armchair, "I agree, confidence is sexy. You know, not having to be reminded every five minutes why someone is with you in the first place." It was a low blow, I knew it, but it was a blow that pushed the attack right back at him, shielding me from it.

Bridgette watched the exchange worriedly, completely abandoning the show still playing on the TV screen, ready to jump in between us at a moments notice. I didn't want her to have to, but arguing with him was the only thing I could do to stop myself from remembering; remembering the sweet words he had whispered into my neck in the darkness as he pulled me closer in bed, the way his eyes glossed over in lust when we'd make out, the soothing rhythm of his heart as I fell asleep with my head on top of his chest.

Duncan's eyes darkened as I spoke, my gaze holding his firmly, but instead of answering, he just turned his head back to the TV, as if I hadn't even spoken. Blowing me off like I was nothing. And I was not nothing! How dare he think he can ignore me?

It continued like that for the next few hours, jibes not-so-subtly directed at each other and anger and pain bubbling just underneath the surface. It continued until the sun outside had set and snow started drifting down from the sky; slowly, as if the flakes wanted to dance together in the wind before covering the ground.

DJ drove me back home, and even though I had noticed his questioning expressions and looks of deep thought and confusion in the basement, he didn't mention the poisonous glares and words I had exchanged with Duncan. Maybe he knew - he more than probably knew - what had happened between us over the last few months, but even then he kept quiet and respected my obvious discomfit around the subject.

* * *

Over the next three weeks I shoved everything to do with my relationship with Duncan away; packed it up in a box and pushed it into the furthest corner of my mind, tucked away, never to be opened again. His presence at school was sporadic at best and I became better at ignoring the locked box of emotions with every passing day, and the few times I had had to face him the rest of our friend group - or some variety of it - always functioned as a buffer.

Until one day they didn't.

English class had been let out early that day before lunch and I was walking outside to rest against my favorite tree as I waited for Bridgette. The last few days had been warm, letting the snow melt until the green of the grass was more or less visible again - even though we neared the end of November and the snow still fell freely from the sky on a daily basis -, and besides the uncharacteristic and worrying warmth, I needed the fresh air.

I stopped short as I spotted the neon green that used to cause a flutter in my stomach but now only made me sick to my bones. Duncan was leaning up against the tree with a cigarette between his teeth and a coat of white powder covered the tips of his mohawk, making an unbalanced contrast to his abnormal hair.

I decided to swallow the hurt and embarrassment I felt as I saw him standing there, alone, lost in thought, and walk over to the soon-to-be circle. I hoped that Bridgette and the others wouldn't take long so my one-on-one time with him - the man who had awakened so many things inside of me, the man who I had hurt, the man who had hurt me back -, would be as short as possible.

I took a seat on the slightly damp grass across from Duncan, making sure my jacket shielded me from the snow on the ground, and hugged my knees to my chest. It felt weird to be alone, yet so far apart. For the longest time I had positioned myself next to Duncan at every chance I got, but the tension between us now would probably explode into physical anger if either of us moved closer.

I heard Duncan mumble something with profanity linked to my name when he looked my way and saw me sitting there uncomfortably, but I decided to ignore it.

"You're not even going to acknowledge me?" he asked annoyed and spat on the ground over his shoulder, making the snow in his hair shake from its place and fall across his face. He swiped the cold away before exhaling a big sigh, smoke seeping through his lips.

"I'm waiting for Bridgette", I answered without looking at him, my gaze was glued at the opening to the schoolyard to my right where I knew - hoped - my friends would soon appear out of.

"So?" Duncan spat out, the annoyed tone slowly developing into anger, "I'm waiting for them too."

"Fine", I spat back and looked up at him, "I acknowledge you. Happy now?" Before he could answer I scoffed and turned my head away toward the opening again.

"What's your problem anyway? Ever since you broke things off you've been pissed at me!"

"My problem is that you act like you don't care about anything and then get offended when people actually believe your façade", I shook my head in anger, my voice rising in volume the longer I talked.

"Of course I get offended when you're embarrassed of me", Duncan shouted, making me face him with a harsh expression.

"You said you didn't care", I shouted back and let go of my legs. To hug my legs looked insecure and weak, and I was anything but at the moment; I felt angry, strong and ready to attack.

"Oh, so you admit you were embarrassed?" he said with poison dripping from his words, the question sounding more like a statement.

"What do you care? You have Heather now", I replied angrily and looked away again, my volume back to normal. Saying her name felt like a dagger being stabbed in my gut. "Again."

"I don't have Heather", Duncan spoke through gritted teeth, his volume mimicking mine.

"Really? Because the two of you have been looking real cozy lately", I scowled at him, wanting him to feel the same dagger I felt. Duncan sighed again and stomped his cigarette out on the cold, wet ground before sliding down the tree, plopping down on the ground with a grunt, running his hands over his face tiredly before leaning his forehead in his palms.

We sat in silence for a while, a few students were out on the quad but nowhere near the usual number thanks to the steadily falling snow.

"Erm, hi you guys", an awkward voice rang to my right. I interrupted my glaring at the ground, wishing for it to just open up and swallow Duncan whole so I didn't have to overthink every action and word coming from him and beat myself up for putting us in this situation in the first place, and turned my eyes to the voice. Geoff stood two meters away with one arm around a concerned and uncomfortably looking Bridgette, his other hand was nervously scratching the back of his neck.

"Finally", Duncan muttered and lowered his hands from covering his expression; he looked cold, hurt and guilty. Geoff and Bridgette sat down on my right side, on Duncan's left, creating a semicircle with the four of us. I knew the newly arrived couple could sense the tension and anger lingering in the air. Bridgette kept throwing glances full of concern my way and her nervous habit of picking and biting her nails went unnoticed by no one.

After a handful of aggravating minutes I stood up quickly, having had enough of the unpleasant small talk and worried looks. I brushed any lingering snow from my legs before making a lame excuse for my quick departure. I bumped into DJ on the way inside, I had looked nowhere else but my own shoes as I walked in a hasty pace.

"Whoa there", DJ said and stopped me from continuing my route by positioning a hand on my shoulder, "I could've knocked you over, Courtney." He sounded concerned, just like Bridgette and Geoff had, just like the tone I was trying to escape. "Hey, are you paying attention?" A big, dark hand waved in front of my face, snatching my gaze up from the floor onto the face attached to the arm and voice.

"Yeah", I answered with a nod and pressed my lips together, "just need to pee really badly", I lied.

"Okay, well be careful, don't want you getting hurt", DJ said before letting his hand fall of my shoulder. He didn't sound convinced and I was sure he was going to ask the other three about my strange behavior once he reached them outside.

"I will", I said and tried to smile, though it probably came out in a distorted expression.

The girls bathroom was lit with cold fluorescent lights, making the white tile walls appear slightly blue. One of the three mirrors were broken, like someone had punched it, the middle one was gone completely and the third was fortunately enough intact, though very dirty. I walked over to the mirror furthest away from the door, the dirty one, and stared at my complexion. I told myself to breath and rinsed my hands with cold water, the sensation stung but made me think clearer. I patted my heated cheeks with my now cold and wet hands, closing my eyes in the process. The rinsing and patting was repeated another two times before I dried any excess droplets off my skin.

"Just ignore him", I told myself as I stared into my own eyes in the reflection. I took one last deep breath before exiting the bathroom.

"We need to talk", a deep voice said as soon as the door closed shut behind me. Duncan stood leaning against the wall outside the bathroom, his expression was unlike anything I had ever seen on him; it made my heart ache, my stomach drop and my anger boil all at the same time.

"About what?" I scoffed and leaned against the door beside him, making sure my eyes did not meet his in the process.

"Us", he said silently and I could feel his stare burn a hole in the side of my head, "Heather."

"No", I said, raising my voice and pushed away from the door to face him, "I don't want to hear about it."

"I turned her down", Duncan said, his voice still low in volume. He didn't look at me though, as soon as I faced him he turned his head down to the floor. I looked at him in disbelief and we stayed silent for a long time. Neither of us moved and the only sound was of the occasional passing students and their chatter.

"Ever since Halloween she's been following you around like a puppy", I finally said and broke the silence as a pair of blonde, twin cheerleaders walked passed us; if I remembered correctly they were two grades below us.

"It's nice to feel wanted", Duncan shrugged, anger seeping through his tone. His words hit me like a fistpunch.

"I want you", I raised my voice and held a hand to my chest, trying to ease the pain.

"You don't even want to be seen with me", Duncan violently said through his teeth, completely ignoring my sudden confession of adoration. He met my gaze and scowled back at me, like some stupid contest.

"We made a deal", I cried and got closer to him. The scent of lavender hit my nose and months worth of memories flashed through my head, making it harder with every passing second, every flash in my mind of our time together, to keep my composure.

"You really think I was okay with your stupid arrangement?" he asked viciously, the silver metal ball on his tongue glistening in the cold light shining down on us from the ceiling.

"You never told me what you wanted", I shouted in his face, "so yeah, I thought you were okay with it." I crossed my arms, shot my hip out to the right and glared at him; if looks could kill he would've been long gone by that point.

"I didn't think I had to tell you", Duncan yelled and jabbed hard at his chest. He clenched his jaw shut tight, making the bone structure of his face sharper, more well defined than usual. Both his cheekbones and jawline looked perfectly pointed and I could feel my own anger fizzle out as a result; I hadn't lied when I told him he was beautiful, not even a little bit.

"I'm not a mind reader", I snapped back and rolled my eyes, trying my best to ignore the damn attractive face in front of me.

"No, you're not", Duncan sighed with surprisingly large force and crossed his own arms over his chest, taking on a stern position as I had earlier, "the only thing you are is a hypocrite."

"What?" I scoffed, the accusation was ridiculous.

"You show me how much you like me in private, you kiss me and spend entire nights with me, yet you claim with all your power you hate me as soon as someone's watching." Duncan's voice was low now, but filled with such anger and betrayal I couldn't help but stagger backwards in shock. My own anger left my body with a jolt and sadness replaced the empty spot quickly. His words had hit close to home, my stomach twisting in painful realization.

"I can't stop", I whispered and looked down at my shoes, the tips were soaked with the cold residue of snow, leaving my toes uncomfortably wet, but cold feet were the least of my problems right now, "I'm supposed to hate you, our worlds are completely different. If I let my guard down completely, if I let you in the way you want, I'll lose the already slipping grip I have of the life I grew up with." I looked up at him again, his expression hard to read, and continued pleadingly, begging for him to understand why I had done the things I had. "Love is the opposite of everything I've ever been around, ever since I was born I've been nothing but a pretty accessory to my parents. Something to make everyone believe they're actually happy when they're obviously just too proud to get a fucking divorce."

Duncan looked at me with a mixture of emotions in his eyes; anger, regret, compassion, guilt. He stayed quiet and still for a long time, just staring at me and occasionally opening his mouth as if to speak, but closed it quickly every time. I didn't move either, trying hard to control the tears that wanted to escape my eyes and calm my breathing. I was not to be weak, not now, not here.

"I-I didn't realize-I didn't think of it like that", he finally spoke, uncertainty and pain dripping from his words.

"I can't allow myself to let you in, not like that, because if I do I'll love you. And what if you don't reciprocate it?" My eyes drifted to the floor as I played with a tiny pile of melting snow with the tip of my foot and I held my breath for his response. Never had I been so open, so honest, with the risk of being completely ridiculed and shut down. Never had I put myself on the line like this. It felt terrifying. It felt freeing.

"Who said I wouldn't?" Duncan asked in a soft voice and stepped closer to me, his big hands each took a gentle grip around my arms and I leaned my head instinctively against his chest, letting myself be held by his comforting embrace, not caring who passed us and saw the situation unfold. I still had a long way to go to be with him truly, fully, but he had slipped through the cracks of the walls I'd built around me and I knew he would help me every step of the way to discovering who I was outside of my family's morals.

Neither of us were especially good with wording our feelings, but we both knew what had just happened, what we had exchanged without naming it.

We both knew we would be okay.


	28. Epilogue

_That same day_

Duncan slung his arm around my shoulders at the shrill sound of the school bell, and for the first time in weeks I indulged in the feeling; the heat radiating off of him, the scent of lavender and cigarettes surrounding him, the weight of his body pressed against mine. I loved all of it. I loved him.

And he loved me.

"You're folks home?" he asked as we stopped in front of my locker, letting me pull the needed material for English class out of it.

"Probably not", I shrugged, a knowing smile on my lips as his eyes glinted of mischief and unspoken promises of making up for lost time.

"Then how about", his hands on my hips, his lips on my neck, "I give you a ride home." It wasn't a question, we both knew the answer.

Duncan waited in the parking lot after school, leaning against his motorcycle with a cigarette in his hand, huddled together in a wonky circle with our friends. I slipped into the group next to DJ and Duncan with a happy 'Hi, guys'. The tension that had filled our intimate group for the past couple of weeks whenever Duncan and I were in close proximity to each other had finally dissipated.

Bridgette's look of worry got replaced with one of questioning as Duncan wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side, all while he still talked with Geoff like nothing had happened. It wasn't long before realization hit her, her eyes growing wide and an audible gasp of surprise - and, what I could only hope was, happiness - escaping her mouth.

"You're back together!" she exclaimed excitedly, stopping the boys conversation dead in its tracks, before realizing what she had just let slip; covering her mouth with her hands as if the previous words would be unheard by the action. "I'm sorry", she murmured behind her hands.

"No, it's fine", I smiled, Duncan holding tight to the side of my waist, a proud, smug grin on his face as he took one last drag from the cigarette before flicking it away over his shoulder.

"I knew you'd work it out", DJ announced with a slight chuckle, offering up a high-five to the both of us.

"Uhm, yeah, thanks man", Duncan answered surprised as he met the other boys hand before it was offered to me.

"So you did know?" I asked as I accepted the high five too.

"You ain't exactly subtle." I looked at Duncan who's smirk was still present and we both shrugged our shoulders in defeat; we knew DJ was probably right.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What?" Geoff stammered, his mouth hanging open and an unsteady finger wandering between all four of us. He asked loudly how he hadn't known, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly in dislike of being the last one to find out such a thing.

"Aw, Bridg, you kept a secret", I pouted happily, slipping out of Duncan's arms to instead embrace my best friend. I whispered a quick 'thank you' before stepping back to my place beside Duncan, letting my head rest against his chest as he wrapped an arm around my waist again and pulled me back in and it felt right.

We felt right.

Weird, yes, but so fucking right.

* * *

I raced up the steps as soon as the front door shut behind us and a giggling squeal escaped me as Duncan caught up with me halfway up the stairs, wrapping his arms around my waist and peppering kisses along the side of my neck; I could feel the smile on his lips against my skin and it made the smile on my own face grow even bigger.

Somehow we made it upstairs, into my room and onto my bed. Clothes laid spread across the floor and only the thin layers of our underwear separated us. Duncan's hands wandered up and down my back, his mouth latched onto the exposed skin of my collarbones, my hands in his hair and my legs wrapped around his waist as I sat atop straddling him.

"I've missed this", he murmured against my neck, his tongue flicking across the patch of skin he had just seconds before bitten down onto, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too", I confessed back, gasping as he spread his palms across my cheeks, giving my bottom a proper squeeze that made me grind against his hips. He chuckled as his mouth moved higher, teasing my earlobe with his tongue and placing small kisses just underneath it, all while his hands continued to grasp and grip my ass.

Duncan's lips finally found their way back to mine and I couldn't help but press closer, closer, closer. I needed to feel him, all of him. It had been way too long.

I rocked my hips once more and matching moans escaped our throats, our breathing heavy as we rested our foreheads against each other, our lips barely touching. "Please, Duncan", I heard myself whisper, cupping his face in my hands as I pressed a soft kiss to the tip of his nose.

"Please what, princess?"

"I need you to fuck me", I breathed so quiet I could barely hear it myself, but the smirk forming on Duncan's lips told me he had.

He lowered us down onto the mattress, my legs still wrapped tightly around him, as one of his hands explored its way down my body. He caressed the freckles and birthmarks that spotted my skin, cupped a breast carefully, gripped at my waist, before ultimately snaking his fingers down the front of my underwear.

The pads of Duncan's fingers massaged my clit, circling it and teasing my aching center with his digits in a way that drove me crazy; never fully dipping inside and only ever brush across the sweet bundle of nerves, never pressing down hard enough to satisfy the pulsing lust rushing through my veins. He had me balancing on the edge of bliss.

Somewhere in the midst of everything I was flipped over, my stomach and chest pressing down into the mattress as Duncan's body hovered above me. He outlined the muscles of my back, drawing patterns between the freckles, before withdrawing a hand only to have it come slapping down on my ass. I couldn't help but moan at the sensation, the pain mixed with pleasure was astounding, and he used it to his advantage. Kisses, bites and licks were distributed across my neck and back, only to be interrupted by sharp slaps and squeezes to my bottom.

"You like that, don't you?" Duncan growled as he massaged my cheeks, one hand pressing on my back, holding me in place, and my answer got lost somewhere in the pillows I had buried my face in, only a muffled sound of agreement escaping into the room.

His fingers slipped under the now soaked fabric covering my sex, easily entering two fingers inside, pressing against that sweet spot buried somewhere deep within. He pulled the underwear off with his free hand and I felt how he wriggled on the bed behind me as he, quite clumsily, stepped out of his boxers as well without stopping the movement of his fingers.

I could feel him hover above me, his erection grazing my thigh with every breath, and he pushed my hair away from my neck gently, letting it cascade down my shoulder and cover my face instead.

"You drive me crazy, princess", Duncan admitted with his lips pressed against my right scapula and it was all it took to finally push me over the edge. I gripped the edges of the pillow I had buried my face in hard, screaming my pleasure out into it as I rode out the climax to its fullest, his fingers only seizing their movements once my body relaxed and my screams and moans had turned to deep, even breaths.

I turned my head to look at him, a smile spreading across my face as my eyes locked with his. It wasn't long after that Duncan lifted my hips from the bed and pushed himself deep inside my center. His hips collided with mine and we both let out loud moans at the feeling we had missed so much.

I watched him from over my shoulder as the pleasure morphed the features of his face. His hands gripped at my hips harsh, fingers digging into my bones, and I knew I would be bruised in the morning. But it didn't matter, because it felt _amazing._

"Fuck", Duncan hissed, wrapping a hand in my hair and tugging just enough for it to hurt. "Come here." I raised myself on shaky arms, his grip in my hair guiding me back until my back pressed against his chest.

"God", I moaned as his lips descended onto my neck, biting and kissing at all the right spots, and the hand previously in my hair snaked around my body to hold me close. I lifted my arms and let my fingers entangle themselves in his mohawk, fisting and tugging at strands of hair as my pleasure built.

"Courtney", he grunted against my skin, "I'm so close, baby." I couldn't help but groan at his words, the admission turning me on more than I would care to admit.

"Duncan", I whispered back, arching against him as I felt him twitch inside of me, rocking my hips hard against his, helping him over the edge the best I could.

He held me close as he came, biting down at the juncture of my neck as he did and I pushed a hand down to my clit; wanting, _needing,_ to fall into bliss together.

"God", Duncan breathed as we collapsed on my bed, "I've missed you."

"I missed you too", I said and wrapped my arms around his middle, leaning my head against his chest.

I fell asleep to the beating of his heart.

* * *

 _The following day_

Duncan had spent the night at my house, sharing my bed for the first time in so long. Too long. I knew our time apart was mostly my fault, and that knowledge hurt. He had let me cling to his chest and bury my head into his side as slow, silent tears left my eyes. He had stroked my hair comfortingly and listened to my mumbled apologies.

We spent the weekend in bed, only getting out of the warmth of the covers for food and bathroom breaks. We'd made sandwiches and laughed through bites as we sat with our backs to the wall, our feet dangling off the edge of the bed. We hid from my parents as they avoided each other by checking up on me. The way I shoved him into the closet or the way he rolled under the bed reminded me of a cheesy rom-com, but I couldn't help the way my heart raced at the prospect of being caught and the adrenaline rushing through my body made me jump Duncan at every opportunity.

By the time Monday rolled around we were spent and I had to bribe Duncan to even get up and out of bed. People had whispered as I jumped off his motorcycle that morning, shaking my hair out after taking the helmet off, and he slung his arm around my shoulder as he led us inside. A proud smile on his face the entire time.

But, of course, we couldn't get through the day without interruptions.

The library was mostly empty during lunch, providing the perfect makeout spot for Duncan and I. He had me pushed against a shelf in the far back, a few books fallen to the ground at the impact, with my hands in his hair and his tongue in my mouth. I moaned softly as he gripped the back of my thighs and my legs closed around his hips.

"Would you look at that", a sudden voice demanded our attention. We both jumped at the interruption and I slid down his body to stand on my own. "Looks like someone's lowered his standards."

"Go away, Heather", Duncan deadpanned, an arm sliding protectively around my waist, pulling me close to his side.

"When will you learn I do what I want?" She took a few steps closer, her gaze never even straying in my direction. A wicked smile crossed her lips as she traced a perfectly manicured nail along his jawline. "I am quite hurt you forgot about our date."

"We didn't have a date", Duncan said as he narrowed his eyes.

"Then what would you call the little rendezvous we've had since Halloween?" I could see him clenching and unclenching his jaw and felt his grip on my hip tightening, as if he was afraid I would run.

"Oh would you back off already", I jumped in. The former flirtatious expression on Heather's face turning into a scowl as she looked down at me.

"Are you deaf?" she questioned and crossed her arms over her chest, "I said, I do what I want."

"Yes, I heard you, but the simple matter-of-fact is, I don't care."

Heather pursed her lips and bent down to whisper in my ear, "Have fun with my sloppy seconds." She turned to walk away, the snide look on her face telling she thought she'd won.

"Heather", I called out, determined to knock her off the pedestal she'd put herself on. She looked over her shoulder at me, as if she was too good to face me. "Why am I such a competition to you?"

"Believe me", she sneered, "You are not competition."

"But I am", I stated, stepping out of Duncan's embrace to close the space between Heather and I, "You've been on my ass since the minute you found out I was involved with Duncan, threatening to expose our relationship yet never actually go through with it. You're just insecure someone decided they didn't want you, that someone chose to walk away and find someone else - maybe not someone better, but someone that wasn't you."

"Are you not remembering _I_ was the one that dumped _him?"_ Heather spat, finally turning around to face me.

"Maybe so", I shrugged, "doesn't change the fact he loves me, something _I know_ was never even on the table with you two."

"Oh, he _loved_ the things I did to him alright."

"Heather." I wouldn't let her win. Not this time. Not when things were finally good. "If you come near either of us, if you even so much as utter a word about us to try and destroy us and break us up again, believe me when I say you will be graduating from a hospital bed. Got it?"

The fear that flickered in her eyes got quickly covered as she turned her nose up in an effort to appear fiercer than she really was. Heather was like a dog; all bark and no bite.

"Whatever", she finally said and walked away, out of the library and hopefully out of our lives.

"That was so hot." Duncan's hands and mouth were on me in seconds and I soon found myself with me legs wrapped around his waist and his hand down the front of my jeans.

* * *

 _Sometime after Christmas_

Duncan meeting my parents for the first time was something we both dreaded. I knew how high my parents standards were, how Duncan fit none of the criteria they had set for my future partner. But he made me happy, and I knew that even though we might not make it out in the end, the present was important too. He kept me down to earth, soothed me when I got in my own head and stressed over things not worth stressing over, took me out to places and introduced me to people I never would've met without him.

It didn't matter that my mother huffed with disgust at his piercings covering his face and the colorful mohawk atop his head, it didn't matter that my father pulled Duncan aside to threaten him into treating me right; he was mine and he wasn't going anywhere. And as time went on he grew on them. My father appreciated his sense of business and integrity, my mother loved the way he treated me, the way he looked at me when I didn't notice.

Meeting Duncan's parents wasn't as awkward as the dinner with mine had been. His mother is the sweetest woman alive, telling me stories about Duncan as a kid, unknowingly embarrassing him, much to my amusement. He would groan and turn red as she went on and on about all the shenanigans he'd gotten into when younger; that time he climbed a tree and was too scared to get back down, the time he denied eating all the blueberries his mom had saved for a pie with purple lips and a matching tongue, the time he refused to wear pants for an entire week because the weather was too hot.

Jonas had a grin on his face the entire evening, throwing innuendos about Duncan and I's little 'sleepover' every chance he got, and Max would pester Duncan about getting 'cooties' now that he had a girlfriend.

* * *

 _Seven months after Halloween_

"Dudes, dudettes", Geoff said as he sat down at the lunch table with Bridgette following soon after. He eyed Duncan, DJ and I seriously and clasped his hands together. "In a week, we graduate", he started, and I rolled my eyes as Duncan chuckled next to me; we all knew where this was going. "And you only graduate once. Therefore", he paused dramatically before throwing his arms out open, "We're going to have the sickest party ever, man."

"Bigger than the afterparty you had on prom night?" DJ inquired. Prom had been an experience, to say the least. Not only had someone spiked the punch - cliché much? -, the adult supervision was not the strictest and by the time king and queen were announced more than half of the students had already left for Geoff's.

Honestly, I didn't remember much from that night, only bits and pieces. I remembered dancing with Duncan, practically grinding together to the music with some of the more immature party-goers hollering and cheering. I remembered sitting in Duncan's lap for a round of Never Have I Ever; we were both out of the game faster than I'd like to admit. I remembered waking up in Duncan's arm the morning after, having hijacked Geoff's bedroom for the night as he and Bridgette had fallen asleep on the couch before everyone was even out the house.

"Much bigger, my dude", Geoff exclaimed and shared a high five with Duncan as he too voiced his excitement.

"What do we need?" he asked and leaned forward on his elbows placed atop the table.

"Booze and cups, obviously", Geoff started, ticking the items off on his fingers as he went, "some nice Mary Jane, snacks for _after_ Mary Jane-" Duncan chuckled at that-"an awesome playlist and maybe some like sodas or something."

"What do you say, babe? You in?" Duncan asked with a grin and slung an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. I looked up at him with a smile and shook my head at the childlike glee in both his voice and face. I didn't need to say I was in, he understood anyway. "Great", he said before catching my lips in a kiss. It started out sweet, but quickly deepend as he pushed his tongue against my lips, snaking its way inside to massage my own tongue. I moaned into his mouth and brought a hand up to cup his cheek, tilting my head ever so slightly to give him better access.

Someone cleared their throat in the background, the noise only a whisper somewhere far away. Then it repeated. Twice.

"Guys!" Bridgette called, finally catching Duncan and I's attention. "Party planning, 'member?"

"Right", I said, my voice laced with embarrassment and my cheeks turning red, "sorry."

Geoff wasn't exaggerating when he said the graduation party was going to be bigger than the one he threw for prom. The house was packed, music blaring in every room. Even the basement had been occupied, the furniture pushed aside to make room for a dancefloor. Duncan and Geoff had, of course, drunk one too many beers and smoked one too many joints that by the end of the night Bridgette and I had to haul them up the stairs to Geoff's bedroom. By the time morning rolled around all four of us shared the bed. It wasn't big enough to fit us all comfortably, but we were all too exhausted to care.

"Nice", Duncan mumbled approvingly from behind me. His arm laid across my waist and his chest pressed up against my back. Bridgette laid in front of me, our legs entangled and her head resting near my chest. Geoff somewhere behind her, a leg and an arm hanging over the edge of the bed as he snored.

"Shut up", I murmured back, too tired to move, too tired to examine and care about the intimate position I shared with both my bestfriend and my boyfriend.

"Make me", he challenged and I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. Bridgette stirred next to me, scooching closer and sighed contently in her sleep. "Nice", Duncan repeated, this time earning a playful smack to his arm.

"Sleep", I said quietly; a command; a request.

We stayed the weekend at Geoff's house as the two boys nursed their hangovers. Bridgette and I enjoying their misery maybe a little too much.

* * *

 _Five years after graduation_

"Hi", I answered with a smile as pressed the phone to my ear with my shoulder. I had a pen in my hand as I scribbled notes along the sides of the textbook that laid spread out before me on the bed. Lately I had been swamped with tests and whatever case the firm I was interning for worked on at that time. It was stressful, of course, but every time Duncan would call or visit it would calm me down immensely, his carefree nature rubbing off and his complete faith in me lifting some of the doubt off of my shoulders.

"Hey, babe", he greeted back, but there was something off, something weighing in his tone.

"What's wrong?" I asked carefully, my eyebrows drawn together in worry.

"I-what do you mean? Everything's fine", he assured with the least bit of confidence I had ever heard come from his mouth.

"Dunkie, talk to me." I dropped the pen and clutched my phone, something was seriously wrong, he deserved my undivided attention.

"I, uh", he hesitated, sighing loudly into my ear, "I went to a party last night."

"Uh-huh?" I questioned, urging him to continue, unsure of what could be so important as to shake him up like this.

"I got really drunk", Duncan continued silently and my stomach dropped, "And I'm just-I'm really sorry, okay?"

"What did you do?" My voice was quiet and dry as tears pooled in my eyes at the implications of his words.

"I'm sorry", he repeated instead and static silence filled our conversation, penetrating my skull and drowning out any other thought I had had before.

"Was it Heather?"

"No." I could see the shameful expression on his face as I closed my eyes, letting tears roll down my cheeks. It didn't matter that it wasn't Heather, it hurt anyway. So goddamn much. Duncan tried to explain but I couldn't bear myself to listen, ending the call without a goodbye in the middle of a sentence as he dove into apologies and explanations.

He called everyday for weeks after that, but I never answered. I threw myself deep into school and work instead, barely even having the time to talk to Bridgette. I got to sit second chair at three different trials and helped with the same amount of divorces out of the courtroom. Caffeine was my new best friend as I stayed up late into the nights, searching for any old cases relevant to the one I was currently working on and taking so many notes they could easily compete with the curriculum and textbooks combined.

Until I burned myself out.

Until one particular afternoon, after downing coffee like it was water for days straight, eliminating sleep in the process, I fell to the floor as I stood up to answer a question in class. I was unconscious for only a minute or so, but rushed to the hospital nonetheless.

Seventeen days they held me, telling me how I had pushed my body to its limits, ultimately leading to temporary fatigue, and that, if I didn't want it to develop into a chronic syndrome, I had to ease up on myself. I had to let myself take breaks, accept help from people offering it and all in all just start to listen to my body.

And, of course, he found it out and tracked me down, knowing I couldn't leave and would have no other option than to face him.

"Courtney, baby?" Duncan's voice interrupted my reading carefully, a silent knock on the door frame as he stuck his head into the room.

"What are you doing here, Duncan?" I asked, my words dripping with poison, and folded the book shut in my lap.

"Bridgette told me", he said as a way of explanation for his sudden reappearance in my life.

"I told her not to", was my simple answer.

"Yeah, well, look at you", he stepped into the room, gesturing with his arm toward me, "you're in a hospital bed, babe. Of course she'd tell me."

"You have no right to call me that", I spat back, ignoring the betrayal of my best friend for the time being.

"Look I said I was sorry. What more do you want from me?" he asked exasperatedly, plopping down on the chair next to the bed meant for guests. _Wanted_ guests.

"I don't want anything from you."

"Come on", Duncan pleaded and I had to turn my head away from his desperate eyes, "I fucked up. But we both know that's nothing new."

"Fucked up?" I roared, shooting up in the hospital bed to glare at him, "Yeah, you fucked up, alright! Tell me, Duncan", I continued, spitting his name as if it were an insult, "was she any good? Good enough to throw away _us_?"

"The distance has been killing me, babe, you're always so busy-"

"Oh, so it's my fault you cheated? Is that what you're saying?"

"No, I just-ugh", he sighed, dragging his hands across his face aggravatedly. He looked tired, I noticed. The bags under his eyes deep and dark and his posture slouched.

"Look", I said, my voice dropping to an almost whisper as I studied my fingers pulling on a loose thread in the thin blanket that laid draped across my lap, "Can we just-Can we do this tomorrow?" Duncan looked up at me with confusion written across his face, but his eyes glistened with hope. I was still hurt, there was no getting around that issue, but I couldn't lie and say I hadn't missed him. "I really want to be alone right now." He pressed his lips together in a tight line, but nodded nonetheless, leaving the room without any audible objections and I sank down the bed with a sigh.

I was going to kill Bridgette.

* * *

Duncan was waiting outside when I woke up the next day, his foot bouncing restlessly as he leaned his back against the wall. The neon green so ridiculously protruding against the hospitals white painted corridors.

Our eyes met through the window and his leg stilled the second they did. He looked unsure, whether he should leave me alone or beg for forgiveness again. With a slight nod of my head I let him know his company wasn't completely unwanted.

"Princess", Duncan said softly as he entered the room, sinking into the chair next to my bed again.

"Hey", I greeted back equally as soft. Almost as if we were afraid of making noise.

"I, uh", he scratched the back of his head as his eyes bounced around the room, "Do you want some coffee? The cafeteria opened an hour ago and I wanted to wait for you", he rambled and I knew it was because of the discomfort filling the room and the uncertainty surrounding _us._

"The coffee here is... well it's not good", I shook my head, remembering the dinner a nurse had brought me last night. The bread stale, the pasta overcooked, the coffee dry and grainy.

"I could run across the street", Duncan suggested and I sensed that maybe he dreaded this conversation just as much as I did.

"Duncan", he looked up at me and I massaged my lips together before continuing, "I'm good, really." He only nodded and for the longest time the only sound in the room was the buzz from the radiator and the muffled voices from outside.

I scooted up the bed and rearranged the pillows to serve as a comfortable support against my back, more so to have something to do than anything else. Duncan had leaned his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped and his head downturned.

"I really am sorry", he whispered finally, _I love you,_ resonating through every word.

"I know." _I love you too._

* * *

Duncan stayed with me everyday. Sometimes sitting silently beside me, offering comfort and support, but once every now and again, when I just couldn't muster up the energy to see him, he would plop down in the waiting room, but still available at a moments notice in case I changed my mind.

The few times we did talk it was about shallow things such as the nurses' sugary sweet attitudes that bugged the hell out of me or whatever crap that was on TV. But never addressing what we actually needed to.

On the sixteenth day of my stay at the hospital the doctor I had been assigned to let herself in without a warning, with a big smile on her face and a clipboard in her hands I could only guess harbored my charts.

"Good news, Miss Cadenas", she beamed and I had to shush her, jerking my head in Duncan's direction where he laid curled up on the chair, his head hanging awkwardly between his shoulder and the back of the chair as soft snores filled the room.

I had turned my head earlier that day to discuss a passage of the book I had been reading, only to be greeted with the relaxed features of his face as he slept. I didn't know if I wanted to smile or cry at the sight.

"Sorry", the doctor said, this time lower, but the smile on her face still shining big and bright, "You have made a stunning recovery, Miss Cadenas, and we feel positive about discharging you." The relief of being released bubbled in my chest and I had to massage my lips together as to not wake Duncan with a squeal. "We want to run a few tests before letting you go, compare your vitals to after you fainted and now, but from what I have seen you seem ready to go home tomorrow."

"Thank you", I sighed happily, but could tell there was more she wanted to say.

"Now-" _And there it was,_ I thought- "Just because your going home does not mean you can resume what you were doing before. There is a reason you ended up in here, after all." I could only nod, knowing she was right, no matter how awful it felt to have to give something up or slow down. "I have prescribed some anxiety relievers that I want you to take once you get out of here, one a day should be good for now, but if you after a month don't feel any better, come see me and we'll see what we can do."

"Okay." It felt weird to be given medicine. Like I was weak, my body was weak. Everyone had problems with stress and they all handled themselves fine. So why couldn't I? Why didn't my body function the way it should? I was Courtney goddamn Cadenas, I was supposed to handle everything that was thrown at me.

"I would advise you to establish routines in your day to day life", the doctor continued, "Go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day, eat regularly and properly, go outside at least an hour a day." Then she smiled at me again before retreating back out of my room.

* * *

"Come on", Duncan said exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb, "You need to eat."

"Well I'm not hungry", I rebutted and crossed my arms from where I sat stubbornly on the couch.

"I'm only following the doctor's instructions", he sighed and lowered his hands from his face to instead stare down at me.

"I never asked you to take care of me", I muttered defiantly.

"You don't need to-" he yelled, cutting himself of as he started to pace around the room, my eyes following him as he went until he stopped to sit on the edge of the coffee table across from me. "I love you, okay?" It was the first time since the break up he had said that and I couldn't find it in me to fight him when he reached across to grab my hands. "You don't need to ask me to take care of you, I just will. I'll always be here, whether you like it or not, because I care. Okay? I love you."

The room grew silent as I ransacked my brain for a response. It had been a week since I was discharged from the hospital, and Duncan had been right by my side the whole time. He had stayed with me in my apartment, even though I said I was fine by myself he'd refused to leave and instead pulled a blanket out of the closet so he could sleep on the couch.

The only time he'd left me by myself was the second day out of the hospital, and not because I'd finally worn his stubbornness down, but instead to go home to gather a bag of clothes before coming right back.

' _Tough luck'_ , he had said when I sighed and said I thought he had left, ' _You're not getting rid of me.'_

"Fine", I finally gave in and withdrew my hands from his to instead cross my arms over my chest.

"Great", Duncan beamed and jumped up from his place on the coffee table, "Hawaiian or pepperoni?" he asked as he dialed the number to the pizza place.

* * *

 _Eight years after graduation_

"Hey, so I was thinking", Duncan started as I sat down on the couch next to him, his arm slung across the back of it, dropping down onto my shoulders once I snuggled against his side, my head on his chest.

"Yeah?" I prompted, encouraging him to continue. A yawn escaped my mouth and my eyelids got heavier by the second.

"How about we get hitched?" I sprung from my place at his side and sat up straight in the couch with wide eyes. He couldn't be serious, could he?

"What?" I manage to get out, so soft I barely hear it myself.

"Yeah, I mean, we're practically married already", he shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"Duncan", I scowled and crossed my arms over my chest, "that is not a proposal. You're not even on your knees or anything! Do you even have a ring?!"

He rolled his eyes and stood from the couch, pulling a small box out of his back pocket as he knelt in front of me on the floor. "How 'bout now?" he smirked, but I wouldn't budge. With a sigh and another eye roll he cleared his throat and flipped the small box open in his hands. "Princess", he started, his voice soft and so full of love the sudden switch almost gave me whiplash, "I love you, and I have for quite some time and I don't think I'll ever really stop. Courtney Maria Cadenas", he swallowed hard before continuing, "will you marry me?"

My eyes flicked between the beautiful diamond ring nestled inside the velvet pillows of the box and Duncan's waiting face. "Duncan Christian Evans", I finally said, a big smirk on my face as I used his full name the way he had used mine, "I want a proper proposal."

"What do you mean 'proper'?" he asked, a brow raised in confusion, "I got down on my knee and everything", he whined, though did nothing to signal he would rise from the floor or even snap the box shut.

"Yeah, _after_ I told you to", I pointed out. He stood still, looking up at me with unspoken questions written all over his face. I hadn't given him a straight answer, I knew, and it may have set him back, but I also knew I loved him just as much as he did me and even with our rocky past - and, let's face it, present - I couldn't see a future without him.

I sighed and sank down to the floor with him, laying a hand over his, the box still open between our palms. "I'm not saying no", I explained, "Just that 'How about we get hitched' is so not the way I thought you'd propose."

"Well how do you want it?" he asked, the smile on his lips mimicking my own as he realized this was anything but a rejection.

"First of all, we're not going to be in our PJs when you do it", I started, earning a chuckle from him, "second, I always imagined you doing something cheesy like putting the ring in a glass of champagne at a restaurant or something sappy like that."

"I'll call and make reservations right now", Duncan smirked and I just shook my head at my soon-to-be-fiancé.

"Duncan it's 2am, nothing's open."

"The food truck down the street is", he countered and pointed a thumb over his shoulder.

"I'm not getting engaged in a food truck", I laughed.

"Not _in_ the food truck", he said with humorous exaggeration, "we'll be standing _outside_ it."

"Whatever", I slapped his arm playfully and pulled myself up on the couch again. Duncan chuckled and shook his head as he handed me the jewellery box and sat next to me on the couch.

"You wanna wear it until our 'proper' engagement?" he asked, emphasizing the word 'proper', making light of the entire situation and my stubbornness.

"Then what are you going to put in my champagne?" I countered and nudged him with my shoulder.

"I don't know", he shrugged, "an olive?"

"You're stupid."

"Stupidly in love with youuu", he smiled and batted his eyelashes the same way a begging child would. I couldn't help but kiss him.

Duncan's tongue found mine fast and he moaned into his mouth as I wove my fingers in his mohawk, tugging at his hair as the want and need rose inside me. His hands wandered down my torso to play with the hem of my shirt.

I earned another proposal from Duncan once our clothes were off, because ' _we're not in our PJs anymore'_. I just laughed and kissed him harder, slipping my tongue into his mouth once more as he gripped my ass, holding me close to him. My legs wrapped around his hips and he carried us to the bedroom, throwing me down on the mattress before covering my body with his.

I moaned and scratched my nails down his back as he kissed and bit my neck and worked a finger in quick circles around my clit. He sank down and pulled a nipple in his mouth, rolling the puckered tip between his teeth as his tongue darted across it.

"Fuck, Duncan", I gasped as he slipped a finger inside of my hot center and I could feel him smile against my breast. He always did like it when I swore, especially in bed. He said it was a turn on, knowing he had so much of an effect and influence on me that I dropped the pristine no-cursing-rule I had learnt in my youth. _Ladies do not swear,_ my mother used to say.

Duncan sped up the movements of his fingers and not before long I screamed my pleasure as the waves of climax rolled through my body. He didn't give me much time to recover before pounding his cock into me. He growled in my ear and tugged at the lobe and the stimulation of both his body and mouth almost felt like too much. I gasped and moaned and dug my nails into his skin, certainly leaving red, harsh marks against his smooth complexion.

"Courtney", he groaned and ran his tongue down my neck.

I tightened the grip my legs had around his hips and arched off the bed, giving him better access to my skin and deepening our connection. I could feel my walls contract as Duncan's cock brought me closer to the edge and I bit down on his shoulder from the pleasure.

"Wait", I breathed, not wanting to finish again without him.

"What?" he asked with concern, his thrusts stopping and his face lifting from the crook of my neck to look into my eyes; worry written all over his face.

"I want you to come with me", I whispered wickedly, laying open mouthed kisses along his jaw.

Duncan growled and disentangled himself from my hold, instead flipping me over so I laid on my stomach. With a hand pressing down my back and the other lifting my hips, he thrust into me fast; hard. I groaned at the new depth he could reach and I pressed my ass firmly against him in rhythm with his movements.

I felt him lean down, his chest against my back as he sucked and nipped at the skin on my shoulder, his fingers playing with my clit, giving me the final push needed to fall into bliss. Once I caught my breath I reached one of my hands around to grip his hips and with my nails digging into him, scratching him, he moaned my name loudly as he came.

* * *

 _Two weeks after the engagement_

"I booked us a table for tonight. You wanna go out?" Duncan asked me when I walked out of the bathroom door, wearing only a towel.

"Are you going to propose?" I questioned, a brow raised high and a smirk on my lips, as I made my way over to where he sat at the dinner table with a pen in his hand and a sketchbook in front of him. He really was talented. The mindless doodling he used to do in high school instead of listen to the teachers had evolved and grown to a place where he designed all his own tattoos. The motifs where still mostly of skulls and flames and barbed-wire and daggers, but every once in a while the occasional flower would appear on his paper.

"Guess you'll have to see and find out", he answered with a grin and leaned up to give me a quick kiss.

"I'm going to get dressed", I said purposefully, "How fancy are we talking?"

"Fancy enough", he shrugged before delivering a smack to my ass when I turned around to walk into our bedroom.

Apparently ' _fancy enough'_ had been right on the money. The service had been good, the food better, the interior only slightly obnoxious and the prices just a tad over our usual budget for dinner dates.

Duncan smiled at me like an idiot once we were seated, his hands clasped together on the table and his leg bounced underneath it. He hadn't asked for the ring back, but I knew anyway what tonight was about; his stupid grin told me everything.

It surprised me, however, when we'd gone through the whole dinner and he had yet to ask. But that smile had never once left his lips. I had excused myself to the bathroom as Duncan ordered desert, and once I came back to the table, there it was.

"You really went with an olive?" I laughed as I looked down the glass of champagne in front of me.

"Told you I would", he grinned back before reaching across the table to grasp my hand. He expertly slipped the engagement ring off of my finger. "Courtney", he started, "I've known you basically my whole life, and even though you've been a real pain in the ass, I wouldn't want it any other way. You're bossy, stubborn and a total neat freak-" I opened my mouth to object, but his finger over my lips stopped me- "but you're also driven and intelligent, not to mention hot."

"Duncan", I smiled, but he only shook his head to silence me and sank down to the floor, my hand still in his.

"Will you marry me?" he asked finally and held out the ring, slipping it back on my finger only after I'd said ' _yes, yes, of course I'll marry you, you doofus'._

* * *

 _A few months after the 'proper' engagement_

"Hey, babe", Duncan said as he walked through the front door.

"Hi", I greeted, turning down the volume of the TV. He plopped down on the couch next to me and, as if on instinct, I rested my head on his shoulder, his arm draped around me comfortingly. "How was work?"

"You know", Duncan shrugged, "same old, same old. What are we watching?" he asked, his hand waving haphazardly towards the screen.

"The Bachelor", I answered simply, a slight grin on my lips as he groaned and sunk deeper into the couch. If there was one thing Duncan hated, it was reality TV; claiming it was all fake and staged anyway. "By the way", I started, taking a deep breath to prepare, "I'm going to have to take some time off around May, June, somewhere."

"You what?" he questioned, sitting up straight onto the couch and using the arm around my shoulders to turn me towards him, "You never take time off."

"Yeah, well", I shrugged in a way I hoped looked nonchalant and tried to turn back, but he wouldn't loosen his grip on me.

"Babe, is something wrong? I've had to literally handcuff you to the bed when you had the flu so you wouldn't run off to work."

"I remember", I said and rolled my eyes, but a smile grazed my lips nonetheless. Even with the restricted movement, that night had been quite a good one.

"So", he prodded, "is something wrong?"

"Wait here", I sighed and stood up from the couch. He looked at me questioningly, but stayed put on the couch as I went to fetch the little stick laying on the edge of the bathroom sink. The little stick that would change our lives. I kept it behind my back as I sat down on the couch beside him again. "Give me your hand."

Duncan opened his mouth as if to protest but nothing came out. With a deep breath I grasped his outstretched hand in both of mine, the pregnancy test falling into his palm. With a soft kiss pressed to his cheek, I withdrew my hands and turned back to the TV, leaving him to connect the dots by himself.

"Is this real?" he asked quietly, staring at the positive result. I only nodded, not daring to face him yet. Was this something he even wanted? "Oh, baby", he smiled before he caught my lips with his. He poured every emotion he had into the kiss. The excitement, the fear, the love; everything. And it brought tears to my eyes.

"I love you", I whispered against his lips.

"I love you too", he said back and placed a careful hand on my stomach before leaning down to whisper against my abdomen, "And I love you too, whoever you are."


End file.
